|Reviews for Final Fantasy 6 Novel: The Ruined Balance|
| N chapter 1 . 12/1/2013
I've kept an eye on this fic for awhile, and I just realized something. I don't know if you did it intentionally, but this prologue reminds me of Jamie Crothall's unofficial novelization opener. I'm not saying that you copied him, by no means am I saying that! I just wanted to say that it reminded me of it, and I was wondering if you had read it? Cool opening chapter!1!
| Mischief chapter 19 . 10/20/2013
THIS IS WONDERFUL! Out of the few novelizations I've read, this one reins superior easily. You do what others are afraid of; experiment and stretch it out, not just follow along to the dot. Massive amounts of development plus some adorable scenes I wish were real, this whole story is so unique!
I know it's been awhile since this fic has been updated, but I truly hope you'll one day continue it. I'll check back every few weeks/months. Good luck with everything!
| Anony chapter 10 . 5/24/2013
This chapter was my favorite so far. Your writing has improved, and your descriptions are very good. I can't wait to see how you handle Sabin
| Anony chapter 9 . 5/24/2013
Wow, I didn't think that you would go in that direction with the trust thing. Darn it Edgar! Don't believe Kefka!
This is a nice chapter too Good job
| Anony chapter 8 . 5/24/2013
The first sentence would flow much better if you wrote instead, "South Figaro was much bigger than it appeared from a distance..."
I really like your descriptions of Terra's new outfit, though when you're describing the stockings, I think the word "embroidered" would work better. :)
I wonder why Edgar would be concerned about how expensive her new clothes are.
Heheheh, I like how Locke is just stealing supplies instead of buying them. Typical treasure hunter.
I'm wondering about the whole trust thing. Are they afraid that Terra will defect back to the Empire? Turn on them? Hmm. Edgar explanation of Terra to Shadow seems a little off to me. My, my, that scene with Shadow was intense! Is the scene where Locke steals the earring in this chapter and I just missed it?
This chapter was very cute, over all Nice job with it!
| Anony chapter 7 . 5/20/2013
Edgar's being a little insensitive here, isn't he? About Terra's powers I mean.
And throughout the chapter, Edgar seems rather short. I understand that you're playing with the characterizations and what not, but since he is a king, wouldn't he be a bit more graceful?
Him being touchy about Sabin, and leaving his kingdom behind seems strange. Terra's a lady, so wouldn't he treat her better?
Otherwise, nice chapter!
| Anony chapter 6 . 5/20/2013
Edgar's sure enjoying checking Terra out, huh. Why is Terra being all nervous, then Edgar notices dominance in her voice? That's not very consistent. And that's a lot of descriptions of Terra's appearance.
It's interesting that you mentioned the crown being placed on her head at a young age, and how childlike Terra acts. It's different from other interpretations of her in fics.
I like how you explained why the three chocobos were ready when the castle started sinking.
| Anony chapter 3 . 5/20/2013
Hello again. I hope that my reviews are helpful, and I am enjoying this story. It seems like you may want to get a beta reader to go through these old chapters so you can update them error free. I'm sure that your readers would enjoy it even more so.
I also noticed that it's been ages since you updated! People are still reading your story, and looking forward to how you handle everything, so please continue working on this! Don't let it become unfinished and left forgotten. There's a lot of potential here.
I like how at the beginning, Arvis is being a worrywart, like he should be after having sent Terra off.
Locke's a snarky little thing, isn't he? Lol
If it was too dark to see, then how did Locke know how far down the ground was? Okay, so the guards set off gas down there where Terra fell? You may want to elaborate on this a bit, because I had no clue what it was until Locke mentioned not lighting any fires.
I like how Locke's asking about her family and what not before Terra mentions her amnesia. It's realistic.
Nice chapter so far.
| Anony chapter 2 . 5/20/2013
Uhm...where did the very beginning go? When the Imperials first enter Narshe, I mean. Did you mean to leave it out? If not, and ff . net ate the chapter, I think there's a feature where you can insert a chapter in between others.
How exactly were the soldiers convinced of her loyalty? It might help to show how exactly she won their trust.
"but it the actual ice felt alive." You may wanna fix this part of the sentence.
And why are we brought instantly to Arvis's house after the line about the ice being alive? What happened there? Even if the reader has played the game, you need to add in these details so that it won't be so confusing, ya know?
| Anony chapter 1 . 5/20/2013
Pretty good start so far. The word "luminance" might work better if it were changed to "luminant." Or perhaps, you could say, "Everything was illuminated and peaceful..."
Nice way to allude to the rest of the story with the espers here.
| Alhma chapter 19 . 12/13/2012
Aw man! I'm all caught up now! xD My goodness, it's been awhile since I've read a fic like this (one that doesn't just focus on two 'main' characters), and am simply astounded by the way you've made it flow, and kept everyone's own arc interesting.
Honestly, I found that Sabins path in the game to be the one I would always do last, although not because of how the story was behind it (which was amazing, especially at Doma Castle), but more of how I just didn't connect, or like any of those 4 (Sabin, Cyan, Shadow & Gau). That being said, after reading this novelized version; love has bloomed for them! There's absolutely no one I dislike thus far, and am enjoying every chapter whether it has my favourite character present in it or not.
Your writing format is very simple to read, and it's not a strain to the eyes at all. A well balanced mix of dialog and description. Although, I would add in some more details to get a better visual, more so if there is a lot of back-and-forth dialog. (Eg. "Terra grabbed his arm, digging her nails in to get her point across." or something along those lines). As well, a bit more specific scenery & landscapes can be added, although having to much can clutter.
Now, you've pretty much nailed all the characters head on for their personalities, although the only one I can suggest a second glance at is Terra. Remembering when she first meets Edgar, he pulls a few lines on her to try and reel her in, but she doesn't think much of it and says to herself that any normal girl would have fallen for that, but that she wasn't normal. Although in quite a few chapters she's been caught blushing, and is acting more 'normal' than what I think she should be at this point of the game. Albeit, this is where character development comes in. There's more dialog and progression in a novelized version than in a game (unless it's a visual novel), and even though she may appear a tad different, I actually prefer this Terra over the game one. It's no fun reading about someone with hardly any personality or attributes. Your Terra manages to capture who she really is, and brings out the best in herself!
I'm really looking forward to the upcoming chapters. I haven't been this attached to a fic since, well, along time! You really have made this live up to the Final Fantasy name, and should be proud. You've made a short journey from Narshe involving Locke & Terra that should have only taken a few minutes to get to Figaro Castle in game, become an' amazing life or death adventure for the two, and it was wonderful seeing them bond in that time span. -Ahem- In any case, I do plan on going through most of the previous chapters to point out the more obvious spelling & grammar mistakes when I have free time, which I'll most likely PM you with it all compiled. :)
| Alhma chapter 7 . 12/9/2012
Omg, this is amazing! I was debating at first if I should read this since well, I've played the game and thought it'd be the exact same, how wrong I was though! I like how you've added in more depth to the characters, and when I picture each of them now they have a distinct personality; even Terra has one now!
I really do hope you'll continue this novelized version further (if it already isn't done). I'm tempted to speed read it all through the night, but I'm enjoying it to much for it to be over so soon!
| The God Slayer chapter 14 . 10/27/2012
I haven't read until chapter 13, and that includes official reviews from my account. I'm so sorry. It is my favorite novelization out there, so I should be reading it more!
I can't believe there was this much of Sabin, Shadow and Cyan! I'm so excited! Sabin's part in the game can offer so much to a novel, and most novel authors for this game does not write about it. There are the script based novels, the pick and choose parts novel (which I haven't really a problem with), and then pick and choose characters novel. I'm glad you are giving the others such a fair and welcoming chance at a novel, it is fresh and inviting! Especially for his fans!
Ahem, anyway, to the chapter. I liked that it only consisted of Sabin's part, because his part is pretty long. I like how you are writing out Shadow; the trained serious, cold guy. I'm seriously already fangirling over the future of this novel for him alone. As for Sabin's part, I think this is great. I like that you can show off his "goofy" side but present a more serious and, for the lack of a better term, "emotional" Sabin. The fact is that he'd still be occupied by his brother and etc etc, and you are including that—and it is great.
The introduction of Cyan went smoother than I thought. I see that it is difficult for most novels to that point and besides a few things I would suggest to that scene alone, it was great. A lot of people don't like Cyan, but I do. He's an amazing teammate and more. As for the ending of the chapter? It was perfect. I like it when chapters are ending in a cliffhanger like scene, and you did it with Cyan and his poor family. I simply loved it.
For the chapter itself, it was amazing, and here are the things I noticed with it; there were some grammar errors here and there, mostly consisting of "past/pass" and a few "obviously you meant 'and' and not 'adn'"—stuff like that, not exactly as I said. With great tune-up, this fanfiction/novel could really become something spectacular.
I don't really like novels for this game being done because most of the time it is one-sided and meant only as an attempt to further some romantic or else-wise personal goal (the only exception being MoogleTerra; her writing and novel is superb!), but this novel and MT's are the best I have ever read and let me tell you, I have been reading FF6 fanfictions since...well, a really long time!
For ratings, I would go with 4/5. The only thing that could have made this chapter better was more descriptive detail in some places. Overall, I am highly pleased.
I'll try and read another chapter next!
| Oben chapter 19 . 10/9/2012
This chapter was mostly Sabin, then Locke and then Edgar and Terra. That isn't a bad thing. I loved it. I particularly loved Locke's part because it was focusing on their differences and growing relationship. I liked Celes' reactions to Locke. Hehehe!
And of course, Sabin's part was fantastic! It was better than the last few chapters! Oh I can't wait until there is another update...but I guess I have to wait for you to update your other fics? :(
Oh well, I guess. Good luck and I'll be waiting!
| Oben chapter 18 . 10/9/2012
I very much like how you used some of the citizens in Mobliz to advance the story! I especially liked the part with the dog and his owner, and the men wanting Sabin and Cyan to clear the caves and whatnot. I have never seen it taken in that direction before. I'm loving Sabin's parts more and more with each new chapter!
Grammar mistakes were way down in this chapter, so you should keep using those sites. However, and even though they went down by a lot, there were still some pass/past problems. Unless I went crazy, of course...
Anyways, great chapter. I can't wait to read the next one!