|Reviews for Olsen's Secret Life|
| ColHogan chapter 4 . 3/21/2010
"Spaghetti and pizza." ROFLOL. That's about the extent of my Italian as well. LOL. Sounds like Olsen is gonna be dealing with some heavy hitters to get the anti-venom to save Hogan's life. But I have a feeling there's gonna be trouble from somewhere.
| Linda G chapter 4 . 3/20/2010
I'm loving this story, particularly like stories about Olsen and his outside life.
From a style perspective, just a quick note. Do you know that EVERY time you have someone's quote attributed, you have some action or motion or adjective with it? Examples in case my grammar is failing me this weekend (LOL):
he answered cryptically
Olsen questioned tilting his head
Carter asked with his hands in his pockets
Wilson asked with wide eyes as he looked around
Aside from the comma issues (you need to use some more of them in this area), you might have been taught that simple attribution isn't okay. IT IS. Of course it doesn't hurt to use expansion sometimes, but ALL the time actually gets distracting (it got to the point where I was LOOKING for one without extra (never), and also wondering why it was important for me to know that Carter's hands were in his pockets?). Sometimes "he said" is all you need.
Just thoughts on writing. I know a lot of people were taught that "he said" and "she answered" type of things weren't good, but really, they are okay now and then!
"I can say spaghetti and pizza." LOL!
| Guest chapter 4 . 3/19/2010
Wow, Olsen's really got it going on! With all the contacts and materials at this disposal, he's sure to be able to get help for Hogan! Can't wait to see what happens next. :)
| Deana chapter 4 . 3/19/2010
ROTFL the last sentence was funny!
How's Newkirk doing? Poor guy. ;)
| Snooky chapter 3 . 3/15/2010
I don't get why London wouldn't help. Hope that is resolved. And methinks Olsen's contacts are a bit more mysterious than the contacts I have him.
| smithcrafter chapter 3 . 3/14/2010
Good story so far!
| viggosloof28 chapter 3 . 3/13/2010
Yes! Go, Olsen, go! Hope he can do something to help the Colonel now that London's out of the picture. Really liked the way you wrote Klink and Hochstetter in this chapter, as well as Herr Herrmann. Feel kinda bad for the guy. :( Looking forward to seeing the next chapter, and what Olsen's got planned!
| ColHogan chapter 3 . 3/13/2010
Why does Hochstetter's reaction to Hogan's injury not surprise me? And what's with London turning their back on Hogan after everything he's done for them? Glad to see that Olsen may have a solution to possibly save Hogan and I can't wait to see what it is. Can't wait for the next update.
| Deana chapter 3 . 3/13/2010
OMG, I just HAD to laugh at Hochstetter's reaction to Hogan's injury. ROTFLOLOL!
| Frau Linkmeyer chapter 3 . 3/13/2010
Wow, not sure what I expected the shooter to be, but not Herrmann. What a sad story. It wouldn't surprise me if that type of thing happened in the war. Why do I have a feeling that Hochstetter won't be charging the man? He was written beautifully.
London is acting unusual. Knowing this author, I can't wait to see what she does with it. She's got something up her sleeve, so to speak.
| jdm chapter 3 . 3/13/2010
Olsen to the rescue! Hope his contacts work out. I'm surprised at London's indifference, especially since high command gives no reason for its radio silence and refusal to help the guys who help so much to win the war.
| Frau Linkmeyer chapter 2 . 3/13/2010
Shot and a spider bite? Poor Hogan! Newkirk shot twice might be better off. I can't wait to see who this gunman turns out to be. I'm glad Carter didn't get shot.
Can't wait to read chapter 3. This story is addicting.
| Mad Scientist too chapter 2 . 3/12/2010
Humm! Spider bite. That's one I don't remember seeing before. Very clever. This looks like the beginnings of a great story.
| The Senior POW officer chapter 2 . 3/10/2010
Now I've been bitten by a creepy spider. Somebody please give me a break or a vacation. Please.
| bugaloos chapter 2 . 3/10/2010
Oh, I've never liked spiders! Poor Hogan! Things don't look good; judging by your description of his condition. Newkirk seems to have fared better, but he's still got to be in pain. And poor LeBeau! I was kind of expecting that. :D Your "created OC" gives me the chills! Will they be able to help Hogan? Can't wait to find out!