|Reviews for Ruinous|
| Sileadh chapter 4 . 10/2/2011
You have managed to make the first person viewpoint work. Ron's character is understandably well fleshed out; I think that Kim's character needs a bit of a leg up though. I must admit that I miss not seeing her thought processes, especially in chapter 4. I'll admit that most of this comes from the end of chapter 4; Kim's actions at the end coming as a bit unexpected.
Your spelling and grammer are up the there usual standards. By which I mean that they're good.
You paragraphing is spot on, enabling me to easily breeze through the prose without impediment. As is your balance between descriptions and dialogue.
I'm not an avid viewer of Kim possible, but from what I've watched your portrayel of Ron's original personality blends well with the adaptations you've made to account for the cross-overs darker, more serious setting.
Well with the somewhat mediocre and mishmash review over with I can get onto the informal stuff.
I love the combination you have going here, it's rather unique insofar as I know. I like the way you've split the scenes for his meeting with each champion into its own chapter.
I love how they were each introduced in a way that fits their individual theme, twisting normal everyday occurances to depict them. To my mind it makes it much more natural.
It's been killing me trying to come up with ideas on what you plan to do in the next chapter, and while lots of possible events spring to mind I can't for the life of me decide on anything that could be even remotely concrete.
"It is a good pain" :p
In the interest of remaining none-whiny/needy I can only give you my best wishes. I will get around to reviewing your other stories. I would have to read up on correct reviewification technique. Otherwise I would not do your two mammoth stories justice.
Taa-taa for now.
| GoldScarb chapter 4 . 9/26/2011
Hey, this is awesome. I haven't seen a combination of Warhammer Chaos with anything done this well. The only problems I have is the seperation between scenes and the fact that this hasn't been updated in a while
| chuckikillu112 chapter 4 . 6/20/2011
UPDATE this masterpiece!
| Morality0duality chapter 4 . 6/17/2011
You have managed to use the gods of chaos in a manner that is not entirely Grimdar chaotic evil and wrote and excellent paring story bravo bravo. 10/10
| Bagget00 chapter 4 . 5/15/2011
Seriously, you need to finish this story.
| FatManDan chapter 1 . 5/5/2011
Blood for the Blood God!
| Chuckyboy chapter 4 . 4/2/2011
THE NUMBER OF REVIEWS FOR THIS STORY DOES'NT DO IT JUSTICE!
| lol-26 chapter 4 . 3/12/2011
for my review i will be acting like
an old, grumpy, Chinese man. O.k ready? Go.
me: wy yo n updt. it bery lung now.
i wait bery lung por new updt.
| Ryuus2 chapter 4 . 2/3/2011
Another great story. I know nothing about Warhammer 40K, but every part you've added to the KP universe is seamlessly integrated in such a way that you don't need to know the crossover to like the story and understand the inserts.
Hmm...I guess the next chapter would be Ron's twin, and depending on how that turns out the following chapter would be Kim and Ron vs. The Five Apostles. If it's okay, can I request another chapter after that? An epilogue of sorts? Nothing much, just Vanessa following through with her double-team-Ron plan, except modified to include Kim. In graphic detail from the 'begin seduction' phase to 'waking up.'
Also, it has come to my attention that in my review of 'The Door of Air' I erred with my math, and that my recent reviews on your stories have been steadily building up like a challenge. Well, to correct my error, you are actually updating 'In Flight' every 3.5 days, on average. Which makes you 4 days overdue. As for the challenging thread to my reviews, it was initially unintentional and humorous, but mostly stupid...
Because if I challenge I say it to your face. *cocky grin* I challenge you to update 'In Flight' before I finish reading your last story. So, which is faster? My eyes or your fingers?
Keep up the great work!
| Tannim Murphy chapter 4 . 1/2/2011
Beautiful. Joy to behold.
I'm in awe of you.
That haiku hopefully illustrates how I feel with you seamlessly meshing two seemingly incompatible continuities into a wonderful story that I sincerely hope one day you'll finish. Though I don't know how you'll find the time, writing all your Fate/Stay Night fanfiction that is super popular and which I enjoy as well. _
| vase chapter 4 . 12/20/2010
What my FAVORITE parts so far of this Fic;
Mrs. Dr P calling Ron for help, and her joy at knowing her faith in Ron was well founded.
understanding now why Stephanie moaned when Kin tried a pressure hold on her to have Stephanie release Ron.
The fat jokes
Ron being still goofy, showing a back bone, not being perfect, still having Ronshine, being mysterious, and not acting like a buffoon.
Kim still being her natural Alpha self, showing her Kimminess, not being a villian in order to interject sympathy for Ron. having normal teenage girl flaws, being able to talk to Ron
The diaslog about religion,
The lack of the cheesy and annoying unnecessary cliff hangers at the end of each chapter. There is no empty feeling at the end of each chapter this author complete the thought yet leaves you with anticipation of what's to come next.
No two chapter fight scene, sometime less is more
Thank you for not relying on gimmicks to make this story interesting.
| Guest chapter 3 . 12/20/2010
Right now I am in turmoil and sad because I realize there is only one more chapter to read until another update. However I am quite frankly giddy with joy with the realization that you have captured me with this most excellent story.
In the simplest terms all I can say is that this story is Lovely.
First and foremost I am a KP Fan Fiction Fan, from kim/ron, to kigo, to ron/bon, even kim/shego/bon or ron/harem ect. and I can appreciate the Kiminess ideal's, and the presentation of Ron as a klutz, The no kiliing policy of 99% of writers, the many stories of teenage boy Ron as virtuous saint with super human fortitude not to have any sexual relations with anybody after high school even after Kim has humiliated him and sends him packing and stays a virgin many years later because of his unrequited love for KP, even to the detriment of women throwing themselves at him. By the way none of these standards apply to this wonderful story.
But I appreciate more so the writers who are not fixated with the stereotypical Kim an Ron and who allow the characters to grow organically, Not a force idealized way in order to present a particular view point.
This is not one of those saccharine stories, there is no over indulgence of violence or sex just a real good drama with some superb writing. You will not find a priest like asexual Ron here with some unrealistic code. You will not find Kim sense of black and write justice here where bullies shouldn't be punished because heroes which usually means Ron can't defend himself when being victimized by regular yet mean normal people.
What you will find is intriguing interaction and incites by all. The interaction between Ron an Vanessa as Badical, and the subsequent conversation between Kim an Ron in the tree house moved the plot along giving the reader enough yet still allowing a mystery. Basically I wasn't frustrated by a writer stringing along unsaid vital points.
This story is well written and is developing at a perfect pace.
| Midgarosormr chapter 4 . 12/15/2010
Although there are some syntax errors (such as commas not being there in required locations and 'then' instead of 'than' etc), this is literary gold!
The characterizations, the story structure, it's just amazing! Especially on how you've written your Original Characters - Ron's 'brothers' and 'sisters' -as well as Ron himself- are very well done, and the writing exposes/implies a lot of hidden depth to each character! I believe that the two correct phrases applicable would be, "Nothing is at it seems," and, "Never judge a book by its cover."
I know it's been seven months since you have last updated this, but are you planning upon finishing this, soon?
I just have to know what Ron's 'power'/'alteration' is, and who his twin must be! Could it be Gill?
| kenlon chapter 4 . 11/17/2010
I don't know Kim Possible from a hole in the ground, but your characterization of Chaos is perfect. Hope you come back to finish this when Hill of Swords is done.
| Tain Shari chapter 4 . 11/17/2010
Wow, I can't believe I held off on reading this before now. This is one awesome piece of fanfiction. Please tell me you have plans to finish this. This is too good to leave hanging like this.