Reviews for Flirtatious Smiles and Crumpled Sheets
WhitewolfKruger chapter 2 . 7/19/2013
Aww. This was becoming such a nice story. If you need any help, feel free to PM me if to need any help. I would love to read another chapter, but if you don't I understand, until then! :D
WK
Guest chapter 1 . 4/8/2011
Um, try again in chapter two. That wasn't much of a lemon.
Aki666 chapter 1 . 4/1/2011
This is a good story plot. It's alot better than the other SakuHina's I read so far.

So keep up the awesome job if you keep this going. If you stopped then nice try!
SpecialJenn chapter 1 . 12/15/2010
Damn this is a good ass story!

It's pretty different from the other, which I like

Keep it up.
animemetalhead chapter 1 . 9/2/2010
Very good, very well-written. I'd like to see this continued, though it works well as a oneshot. Keep up the good work!

Taku
Kanto the Slayer chapter 1 . 8/27/2010
This has potential.

Mind you, it's not spelling or grammar that are issues. It's what Mistress said. You need to include the little quirks that make the characters who they are. Now you can do this one of two ways:

1) Actions. This one's the more subtle of the two. Anything from stance, to certain mannerisms, to facial expressions, to whatever else you notice.

2) Dialog. Get these people to talk more and include anything about their way of speaking that makes them unique. Of course, certain thoughts and feelings are best when said, too...

Keep these hints in mind.

Now... do this chapter over. Mind you, I'm not suggesting that you do this as some kind of OMGUSUCK thing. It's a good first attempt. Just that it could be... better. That's all.
XxMNinjaxX chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
Cute story. You're not a bad writer at all. In fact, you're a good one. I like your writing style (your "voice" that you put into your writing). The fact that you have a "voice" in writing proves (at least to me) that you're a pretty good writer. I'm looking forward to reading more of the story and seeing how things turn out. ]
Wafarasu chapter 1 . 3/23/2010
woah, okay, I'll wait. _;
MistressWinowyll chapter 1 . 3/9/2010
It wasn't bad, but it was definitely a rushed third person perspective with very, very little dialogue.

It was citrusy, but you left out a lot of the character's quirks and mannerisms that are normally enjoyed in canon.

This has potential, but it needs to be polished. A good idea would have been able to employ the whole, "Sasuke doesn't see me as a potential girlfriend."

"Naruto just sees me as a friend."

"Wow, don't men suck?"

"I guess, but what else is there to do?"

go from there. Just a suggestion.

Your Mistress.