|Reviews for The Daemon of Pein Part 2: The Eclipse of Dawn|
| pikachucat chapter 54 . 10/22/2014
| slythian chapter 54 . 9/8/2014
| Crimson Yrael chapter 29 . 2/20/2014
Ugh, I've tried to stick with this story, but reading Naruto lose fight after fight just isn't fun. I know it's intended to show character growth, but we're on chapter 70-something by this point and there still isn't any. Naruto is still an idiot, he's hardly matured at all, and despite the growth in strength we're lead to believe he's had, he's behind the curve of pretty much every one of his peers and is possibly weaker than he was in canon at this point (well, maybe not that bad, but close).
While your writing style itself is very solid, some focus on plot design and elements would help the story quite a bit.
| TheBladesEnd chapter 20 . 7/3/2013
An interesting choice having Yagura find Fuu first. Their encounter almost borders on cliche with the pervert-gets-smacked-by-offended-female routine, but it was nice seeing that twist in her personality when she realized who he was. I detect a cute love story between those two.
Also, the conclusion to Naruto, Rika and Yuuka's secret missions was a little underdeveloped. I'm sure Pein was having his Jinchuuriki look for the secret to Edo Tensai, but since Rika and Yuuka's interference came into the picture, that wasn't used to full effect in the consequences afterward. They just head back home, dejected for their lack of accomplishment, but I was kinda thrown off by how suddenly Naruto is on the mission to Taki, without any transitional scenes between him, Utakata, the twins, and whatever fallout came from their failed missions. That's not to say I still look forward to more.
I failed to bring this up earlier but Naruto's first meeting with Gaara's siblings and how he handled it were done astonishingly well. It was an entertaining fight to watch, and the way he decided to end things means he does not give in to his emotions so easily. What came out the most surprising was how Naruto confronted Gaara later on about this, and then Gaara's peaceable reaction. That was mature portrayal of two characters that demonstrates how they trust one another intrinsically.
| TheBladesEnd chapter 17 . 7/3/2013
Whoooooaaaa! The plot thickens! I'm glad to finally see of soma no ko twins getting involved in the plot. I can't wait to read what Rika is doing at one of Orochimaru's facilities, although I'm sure it has something to do with her brothers. Perhaps Yuuka is there as well. This is getting more and more exciting.
| TheBladesEnd chapter 13 . 7/2/2013
Whoa, those were some incredible developments. I was worried at how calm Hidan was after Utakata pulled that bubble prank on him. He really knew how to hide his intent until it counted. I gotta wonder how much that changes things
Can't tell what's happening with Gaara's gang yet or if there's any significance to the job considering how many members are along for that, but I guess the last scene answers some of that with the inevitable confrontation between Naruto and Gaara's siblings. I look forward to reading how or if they changed at all and hope something interesting comes out of it.
Till next time.
| TheBladesEnd chapter 6 . 6/30/2013
Okay, I guess there is no hard break to use for reviewing so I'll just start here. It was enjoyable watching Naruto and Gaara put their skills to the test. I was sorta shocked how huge the dogs got. Now they are not baggage any longer so I can't really call them distractions. Wonder if Naruto already knows that they grow extra heads under physical trauma? I'm sure that'll come out at some point. Eventually someone is going to land a dangerous hit on one of the pups of the six paths (lol, like my joke? ) But seriously it would rock hard if each had one of the elemental affinities. That would be devastating.
I never watched the Shippuden anime after teh first arc with gaara, and just read from the manga afterward since I refuse to revisit 300 episode of filler to find out what is good and what is terible. As such it's a shame I don't know more about the other jinchuuriki, but I like how 3 and 6 are protrayed so far. Each seems different enough to carve out their own personalities, so yeah, good work on that.
I was surprised when I figured out Eko had evolved. The question kept gnawing at me until the flashback last chapter. I was pleasantly surprised that Naruto now has monstrous physical strength to compliment his chakra reserves. It almost makes me hope he learns the sage path as well, and taught - this time - by a wise old shark (with beard, yes a beard. Beard Shark!). Also glad to see Gaara grew as a character. I find it so achingly appropriate that he took it upon himself to be the group cook. Kisame and Naruto are most definitely not the healthy diet types.
Great reading so far. I reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaally can't wait to see what you've done with Nagato and Konan's relationship since it's clear that Nagato finally stopped being a stuck-up-shut-in and just accepted Konan's advances while getting out of that crippling outer path device. I never did undersand why he was always withering away and didn't do his utmost to remain health. Maybe it was making all those chakra receiver rods? That end part with Zetsu has me asking huh? So good work stoking my curiosity. Giving the reader something to ponder and look forward to is good planning and writing, so you have my seal of approval.
Until next time.
| TheBladesEnd chapter 2 . 6/29/2013
Interesting opener to the second division of your story. I'll comment fully once this current episode is concluded.
| Tristan chapter 1 . 1/18/2013
I LOVE THIS SO MUCHHH! IM On a much farther chapter than 1, and i love it. great job!
| Shin1gam1 chapter 10 . 10/4/2011
| JokersLastLaugh chapter 54 . 9/17/2011
I really enjoy this story and the previous one and im surprised at Jiraiya's turning up but i know i should not be.
I dont like the way you keep giving neji more and more powers. You seem to be making way overpowerd and its getting annoying with him being so arrogant.
Going to read the 3rd one now and i hope i will be impressed like these last two.
| TorrentJ chapter 4 . 2/11/2011
I like the idea of Yagura's memory loss; it gives him character and a reason to hate Kirigakure.
| TorrentJ chapter 3 . 2/11/2011
Well, I didn't expect it to be Utakata who was following them. Are they actually brothers, or just close friends?
| TorrentJ chapter 2 . 2/6/2011
Ooh, Kyuubi! I wasn't expecting Naruto to use the Kyuubi's powers... Although in retrospect I probably should have. And yes, this is a Naruto you can like.
Also, Naruto's inability to keep his shirt on reminds me of Gray Fulbuster from Fairy Tail.
| TorrentJ chapter 1 . 2/6/2011
Nice representation of Naruto. I DID read Part 1, and I was still a bit confused by the start of the chapter.