|Reviews for Ohio|
| StrawberryDuckFeathers chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
. Fandom blind .
Wow, I love that intro, especially how you create such a shock in the way that Daria and Jane have just seen someone of their own age dead. :O I also enjoyed the way you listed all of the bad things that had happened to make it seem even more frightening, and I love how they're so shocked, they just stop looking. One of the lines I found very powerful for its frightening quality was this: [They really should be home by now.] I also like how there's an ongoing theme of conflict which even further adds to the intimidating nature of the piece. The shooting in the end was horrifying, and the way you connect it to a real-life context and event, even more so. :(
I have no critique/suggestions, just remember to keep up the good work! :D
| truthsetfree chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
This was a very interesting idea and very well executed. Your characterization was great. Your dialogue was great. You really nailed the non-Daria voices and themes and references. You breathed life into the era and by crossing it with Daria, you make it really accessible and now to a much younger generation. You did an amazing job demonstrating how Kent State and other events of the era would have pushed and shaped Daria. The impact on their lives was vivid. Well done.
| Green Phantom Queen chapter 1 . 7/20/2013
I did my research and it was horrifying. I remembered all of these killings, and the matyrism of African americans, like Robert Downy King Jr for instance, and sometimes you just have to wonder whether there is pure hatred due to race or because the people are involved with dangerous needs but want to do good. It's a crazy world we live in, and sometimes you have to wonder whether or not you're actually benefitting from the craziness.
the dialogue wasn't as 'snarky' as I would expect it to be from Daria and Jane, but that's all right. The snark is for all the idiots in the world, but this is a serious time where people die and we are involved in war. Daria and Jane are just 'normal' women having a discussion about different topics. Cool stuff.
The thing that Jodie got involved with the whole protesting thing shocked me. she's the last person to go for it, despite people egging her to go on stage. It makes you also wonder what could've happened if she didn't go through it. She'd be a great doctor, politician, etc. It just sucks that she got involved with the killing itself. And the line of Daria not entering Reft meant that she's on her own, protesting people for what is right. Just one event can truly change you, doesn't it?
All in all, great story. I loved it. thank you for writing.
| darkaccalia520 chapter 1 . 7/9/2013
I used to love Daria, and this is the first Daria fanfic I've ever read. It was an extremely enjoyable experience since I felt like I was watching an episode. Everyone was wonderfully in character, and despite choosing a rather serious moment in history, you were still able to work in some of the witty humor of the show...and it didn't seem forced at all. it flowed naturally, which is what I love. From Jane's dry humor and eagerness to always do something to change their current situation to Helen's tendency to always defend Quinn and her drinking and pill popping to get through the day to Quinn's and Daria's bickering to Quinn's way of speaking (lol) to Daria's apprehensiveness to take certain leaps...you've got so many lovely things from the show worked in here.
I always felt bad for Daria when Jane was pushing her. But sometimes, Jane was right. But in this case, I'm glad Daria made her own decision...not that Jane wasn't right in this case, but I think Daria needed to do it for herself. It's too bad about Jodie and James, but I'm sure Jane and Daria went on to do great things to change things for other people like them.
I did notice a few missing commas, but that's pretty minor.
Overall, this was really an excellent piece. I really loved the moment in history you chose, the message...and everything in between. Well done. :)
| Megalink1126 chapter 1 . 7/7/2013
So, I literally know absolutely nothing about Daria and the historical events that were referenced in here. Despite all that though, I found this fic to be very interesting.
It started out a bit slow, but at the same time, I think you did a very nice job setting the scene by establishing the time period and the characters. You did a really good job here with some subtle characterization from the conversations Daria has with the rest of her family, as well as some of the tinier actions, like Daria's mom downing some pills with a bunch of whiskey. And the little news report at the beginning really did a nice job setting the tone for the end of the fic.
I didn't really start to feel myself really getting into the fic though until the very end. It was sort of like a roller coaster in a way, with most of the fic sort of leading up to a series of important events that ended up changing Daria's life and then everything sort of coming in a big woosh! And while it was very exciting at the end, I couldn't help but feel a little cheated, like I had read through all of the set up only for the main point of the fic to come up and slap me across the face rather abruptly.
That being said, I really did like how you ended it. Especially that last line, which really said so much in only a few simple words. You made me think and make connections with a lot of the stuff at the end there, which is always far superior than a writer just going and laying everything out for a reader.
All in all, it was a very nice little fic, and I think you did a really nice job capturing the time period and the event you were writing about. And to top it all off, now you've got me wanting to go read more about what actually happened at Kent State and more about the event, haha. So yeah, very nicely done. :)
| Edhla chapter 1 . 7/4/2013
At first I thought "Kent State for sure" (not great with dates but knew it was 1970); I'm glad you found and highlighted another great injustice that more people should know about it. Really freaks me out that this wasn't that long ago and there were police and army shooting teenagers.
After I'm done reviewing, I'm definitely doing more research, especially to find Nixon's reactions to the shooting of the "Communists."
Minor SPaG: I'd put a question mark after "dinner" and "Oh, here they are!"
The second half of the fic seriously had me that interested in the story that I forgot to write my "running commentary" as I went along. I love, LOVE how genuinely "1970" this feels, despite the source material. And that last, ambiguous line is an absolutely killer.
| Lady Paprika chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
I love Daria. It's one of my favorite shows so putting her in this kind of setting was pretty intriguing to me.
I think you handled Daria's situation pretty well. Jane, it would seem, would be more of an activist because of Trent and her family background and also, the fact that she's so ambivalent about college. Daria on the other hand understands deep inside that she needs college to make a future. The deaths of Jodie and James though is probably what pushed her. I really also like how you stuck with terms that were used in the 70s - the tie-dye and the headband are obvious fashion choices, but using Negro to describe a black person was also particularly accurate back in those days.
I *do* feel like the first half was a bit slow and the last half very rushed - The part that should make more of an impact only has several paragraphs. I also felt like Daria and Jane were slightly out of character, but perhaps this is because this isn't supposed to be sarcastic-humorous.
Anyway, thank you for the read and good luck on your future endeavors! :)
| Don't Mess With Aria chapter 1 . 12/13/2012
Jeez, this is heavy. I just... I have no words. This is so well done. I'm kind of in awe right now, I dn't even know what to tell you. Didn't notice any issues with it or anything, just. Wow.
| MessengerOfDreams chapter 1 . 11/27/2012
This was such a realistic snapshot it felt like true historical fiction, and really summarizes the common feeling of a disaster happening outside our control that don't affect us- a passive interest, life going on beside watching the correspondence, some interest in helping things that doesn't always last, a muted melancholia and sadness that doesn't really reach too much until somehow it affects us. Some of us are changed by disaster even when we're not the ones in the tidal wave. You captured that precisely here, that sort of atmosphere.
| RedheadedMarina chapter 1 . 11/26/2012
Very well written and poignant story. I really like how you place the reports of violence in the middle of the most normal of household activities-making dinner and friends talking with one another. The pills and alcohol are placed with just the right touch, underscoring the action. The ending works very well and allows the reader to draw their own conclusions about exactly what Daria chose to do that kept her back from Raft. I enjoyed reading this. Well done.
| Spirited Mare chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
I really liked this, and the ending was great :)
| Madam'zelleG chapter 1 . 2/6/2012
I'm not at all familiar with this show but I really found this to be very enjoyable nonetheless. It is truly the mark of a skilled author when the reader is able to identify with the story no matter if they are familiar with the fandom or not. I must applaud you on that front.
I'm impressed with the dialogue in this piece; it's been my experience that dialogue is not easy to write convincingly but you've really hit the nail on the head.
Overall, I foudn this piece to be very well done and I enjoyed it immensely. Thanks so much for sharing and very well done!
| Inkfire chapter 1 . 2/1/2012
Though I'm familiar with neither the show nor the events pictured here, I found this story really well done. It was very well written, the way you described the shooting in the first paragraph, and the girls' reactions, was especially striking. Their shock and disbelief was very well conveyed, the whole thing seemed so unreal, just like it must have actually felt for the people who were seeing this horror happen through their TVs, knowing it was going on so close to them, and yet unable to truly realize. Your style conveyed this very well, in the way you described striking, shocking images, in a very harsh and matter-of-fact kind of way, and then showed the girls' numb horror.
Your dialogue was also very well done – you really showed your characters' personalities in a few words, first they seemed in character from the little I'd read about the show before checking out your story, and they also gave very interesting insight, with the different ways in which every character dealt with those tragic events. Helen seemed especially interesting, it really seemed to me that she was anxious to have everything under control and make sure things were going perfectly, as though clinging to small things would keep them safe in their little world and away from harm. The matter-of-fact way you described her use of pills and alcohol was pretty striking. The gap between Quinn and Daria was also very effectively depicted.
The quarrel between Daria and Jane about the march was very well done. Jane sounded so passionate, full of fire and determination, and yet Daria seemed more mature, though it forced her to put rationality before conviction… I also like the way you described the end, the way the news of Jodie's death were delivered was quite chilling. Really well done!
| Emily Mae chapter 1 . 1/30/2012
Oh wow. You know, I know nothing about Daria, but that hardly mattered with this piece. You captured a small glimpse into life during the Vietnam War so poignantly. I particularly liked the way Jodie Landon was someone Daria and Jane went to high school with, and I liked the Bob Dylan reference, too. It's not everyday you read a fanfic that's historically informative. Very creative and well done!
| Rosawyn chapter 1 . 1/30/2012
"'It's a bit different when said man pays for your education.'" Daria's got a point here. Education is pretty important if you actually want to get ahead in the world - it helps, anyway. Not sure what change she's supposed to make in the world unemployed, on welfare, etc.
I must admit, I've never read a "Daria" fanfic before. And I haven't seen the whole show, either, though I have seen a few eps and I'm somewhat familiar with the show and its characters.
This piece felt a lot darker in tone that what I remember of the show. Not saying that's wrong, just that I noticed it; I assume it was intentional.