|Reviews for Regret|
| Sana Lama Samaha chapter 60 . 8/29
That took quite a while to read, and I loved every bit of it. I had thoughts about who the true antagonist of this story is... but I didn't want to believe it until you shoved it all into my face. What surprised me during the climax was not the big reveal, but instead how detailed all the plans were, and while that was all happening, you still had a sense of humour about it.
This was an amazing read. Certainly, incredibly dark in places (most places, actually), but following the Callum on his journey and meeting all these wacky, insane characters was more than worth it. I think Adryan is my favourite though... just because of the way he went. I wish there was something a little better for him... but I guess this can be called a happy ending of sorts.
I have to wonder what Callum is up to now, and how he plans to save the world from damage already done... I wonder what Chris wrote in that letter to Adryan...
The ending is a happy one... but the subtle feeling that the future is still bleak makes me nervous. I'll be sure to check out your sequel soon.
| Sana Lama Samaha chapter 43 . 8/28
Ah, no, more ominous cliffhangers. Why can't there just be a happy ending?
| Sana Lama Samaha chapter 40 . 8/27
Hope! How quickly it blooms! Just because of one happy chapter. I sure hope they won't all come crashing down in the next.
| Sana Lama Samaha chapter 33 . 8/27
... This is heavy.
| Sana Lama Samaha chapter 28 . 8/26
Another foreboding cliffhanger. My hope and optimism is in the negatives.
| Sana Lama Samaha chapter 24 . 8/25
I've been slowly losing hope that this story doesn't have a happy ending, or anything that could remotely be called such... With all these allusions that the future is fucked up, perhaps even worse than the mc's future... and the mc's own slow progress in his quest... I don't have much optimism.
I do love reading this though. The mc has grown on me. From once a heartless, semi-confident soldier, to the friendly but paranoid killer he is now... hahaha, I just like seeing how he's changed... For better and worse. The pokemon are great too! It's nice that they're given personalities, as well as their own nature.
| Jack's Ace chapter 9 . 8/25
Bad feelings all around in this chapter.
| Sana Lama Samaha chapter 20 . 8/25
... Sick. Really... This is so dark, but I love it! It's given me a new way to see Pokemon and their trainers.
As for the corruption... There have now been two Elite trainers who have thought nothing of killing (directly or indirectly) another human. (And there's our darling mc as well.) I wonder just how far this mentality goes... Just thinking about it gives me the willies.
| Sana Lama Samaha chapter 17 . 8/25
... In all the... drama... that has been plaguing the story so far, I couldn't find myself to stop reading and review. (You had my full attention, but here's a nice place to take a break.)
I never figured this is how the story would unfold. I feel like the constant weight burdened on the mc's (we don't know his name yet, do we) shoulders has only been getting heavier. That his only reprieve is in small victories and distractions.
I wondered in the beginning if this... situation... could truly be that bad... but yes it is that bad. If an Elite Four could become corrupted, succumb to temptation... If a wild Pokemon could actively and intelligently murder humans... The distant threat of a horrific virus could really become reality in less than a year...
I wonder if Celebi knows about this. Surely a time traveller could simply travel a year into the future and see if anything has changed, and stop it from happening... The thought occurred in my mind that perhaps there is no changing the future. That Celebi bringing the mc into the present is what doomed humanity in the first place... Whether intentional or not, Celebi could be indirectly responsible for the future of the world... But I hope I'm wrong. That the allusions to the mc dooming the future is something that can change. That the mc will change the future when he realizes his missteps.
| Sana Lama Samaha chapter 15 . 8/24
Holy shit, your mc is bedding a gym leader.
| Sana Lama Samaha chapter 6 . 8/23
Finally got a chance to pick this up again. The dude did not just say 'a hundred and three' instead of one-oh-three. Who refers to routes like that? I know, I'm nit picking.
| Vile Slanders chapter 4 . 8/18
Well... I'm pleasantly surprised. Dig through enough pig shit, and sooner or later, you'll find a gem. This gem definitely has some karat value.
While this isn't as good as L. Lamora's "The Game of Champions," this is most certainly second place. I love Dark Parallels, and while this one has a slight lack of "feel," it is worth reading. I'm not trying to sound like a douche, though I probably am failing in that regard. So instead of ambling along like a brain dead ape, I will instead use power points.
You have a fairly original idea, sufficient details to support its atmosphere, a readily ascertainable plot, and a clean cut writing style as well as a recognizable format.
Cons: And this is me nit-picking. Normally within the first few chapters, I like to form a rapport with the main character(s). Sadly, no such rapport has formed with your OC. I'm reading this story feeling thoroughly detached from anything transpiring within the story itself. In short, I haven't really connected with the main character. She (At this point, I'm assuming it's a she. You have permission to shoot me down if I missed the point of gender clarification.) hasn't really struck me as a particularly "Human" character. Even the cynicism and futility feels watered down. I realize that she is in a world full of traumatizing experiences, experiences alien to anyone born in a developed part of the real world, but even she seems detached from it all. She kind of meanders through every peculiar encounter and situation with a total, almost mechanical, acceptance. If I was in her shoes, I'd be expressing doubt ad nauseam and questioning everything that I encountered. That, and I don't think that she was in her original timeline quite long enough for the audience to understand and relate to her miserable existence. I do believe that you could have devoted a little more material to covering the Dark Parallel. Like I said, I'm nit-picking.
Other than that, it is a well worded story, and it has a tangible plot. I intend to rough it through the beginning in hopes that the persona of the story grows.
Also, a personal note, I am amazed at how many stories are written in First Person Narrative. I generally find such narration tedious and often boring to write with, but to each their own. In this case, Third Person Exposition feels like the minority. You, like L. Lamora, do the First Person Narrative justice. It is nice to read a First Person Narrative that doesn't start with a paragraph devoted to the OC's specific dimensions, physical distinctions, and God forbid; their formal attire. I'm so sick of reading FanFics where people spend otherwise invaluable sentences detailing just how their character ties their shoes and the preferred color of their clothes. I don't care, it doesn't add a thing to the story except my growing ire. Good on you for avoiding this all too common trap.
P.S. By the way, I do apologize if this came across as wordy or insinuating in any way. I probably shouldn't post reviews inebriated. Oh well, here's pressing the post button for my nonexistent shame.
| Sana Lama Samaha chapter 4 . 7/28
Just started reading this and felt it was about time I left a review... The negative endings to every chapter... Surely the far off future couldn't be as bad as the narrator says it is.
| AZalmega chapter 8 . 6/28
Wow, I gotta say I really enjoyed reading about Loki since he's such a good prankster. In my opinion, Loki is a really good name for a Sableye since most of them are rumored to be good prankster.
| deathless.smile chapter 60 . 6/10
I seriously cannot process this. You have created a wonderful incredible masterpiece of over half a million words in less than two years?! AMAZING! Even though I have read this story twice already and will probably read it again and again, IT DOES NOT CEASE TO AMAZE. Seriously, I worship you. If you can do this spectacular piece of literature in that period of time, well then, I have no doubt you can do better with Transgression. Wishing you all the best and godspeed :D