|Reviews for Turning Point: Gettysburg|
| Artiebrows chapter 5 . 12/20/2012
SO MANY FEELS! Loved it!
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/11/2012
Pure and simple not novice at all. Very many feels and you manged to capture the deep emotion, progression without unnecessary pain-perfect angst balance and setup and light airy satisfaction of reciprocated love while leaving a dreamy aftertaste instead of having it fall flat. In other words this is one of many stories that will leave singles flustered and elated.
| Aestiva chapter 5 . 5/24/2012
Awww! At the end of last chapter, I was freaking out since I knew about the charge. I was like "I CANNOT wait for Pickett's Charge." Then I remembered it was already done. Anyway, I love this story so much!
| The Awesome March Hare chapter 5 . 2/22/2012
This is such a wonderfull story. I love it. Simply splendid.
| Trumpet-Geek chapter 1 . 1/31/2012
One thing... I wouldn't say that Britain had no part in the American Civil War. Britain actually supported the Confederacy by providing some weapons and such.
Otherwise, this is very promising )
| AlucardLovesSteakCakes chapter 5 . 12/6/2011
Omg i loved this
this was beautiful
i LOVE UKUS!
| Chachi-chama chapter 5 . 8/28/2011
D'awwwwww! I totally started tearin' up in part 4...but D'AWWWWWWWWWW The endin' was sooo adorable! *adds story to favs*
| Mossmoon chapter 5 . 5/15/2011
I loved this soooooo much! I can't wait for the renaccment for the 150th anniversary of Gettysburg! I'm totally going to it! :D
Also, I just loved this fanfiction. This has a great plot, and I couldn't help but feel bad for Alfred the whole time. You actually made me feel something in this fanfiction, and I almost never feel anything when reading stuff. This is a great read!
| too-much-romance chapter 5 . 5/24/2010
I'm going to be honest with you Nariko: The ending was not the most epic thing in the world, but this chapter did make me smile. Softly, relaxed. It's not that I was completely satisfied and could go to bed RIGHT NOW with a mind worrying only about UKUSA instead of my own problems, but it is enough to give me a peaceful disposition. I read it moderately fast because I had no idea when my mom would take the computer, but I also made sure to give every sentence my full attention as I know that you are one not to waste a single line. The ending does not contain a huge moral that impacts me so much because I couldn't understand the one you provided. Because, like I wrote in the last review, I shouldn't be able to understand these nations' feelings - only their relationship. *semi-shrug* It's a different feel of an ending. It's not "epic" but epic cannot be used for EVERY kind of good ending, can it? That'd be a travesty to the English language and England would get mad! XD But...yeah. *at a loss for words*
The beginning, I more or less knew that that tentacle was really, you know, Alfred (X3) but once again you present to us something obvious and make it something wonderfully delicious and fanservice-y, if just a little.
And when America was screaming for it stop, I couldn't help but pause and sigh at how much 3 days could whittle down America. First, he only tightened his jaw and had a limp and was slow. Then, he made pained expressions and muffled grunts. Now...he's screaming desperately. That. Is. Genius.
And then for a while there while the two nations are trying to calm down, going through all these moments of holding each other without embarrassment...America looks up with fear in his eyes and says outloud, though he meant to himself, "W-What are they DOING? It's an open field! They're all gonna die!" and then he falls, curling up into a ball, blood spilling from his mouth now, and he sees it on his hands. America can feel EVERYTHING. Every soldier shooting another, be it the Union or the Confederacy; he knew now that the Civil War would hold more casualties that any other combined - because he had to count both sides' loses into his own heart.
Where you give us the down-low on the Confederates having no chance of winning now kinda felt too early or not spoken at all. Keep us holding a breath a little more I think.
And then you mention what is probably the most classical storyset for historically based fanfiction for Hetalia: Why must there be war?
And you provide no kind of hint to the answer, only frustration on one's side and silence on the other's, despite his years (and his willingness to kiss the arse of France).
And then the slap, just the way it was described, and the way Arthur confesses in a string of anger but then boils down to a simmer with an awkward, "and not just in a brotherly way..." was great. Done before probably, but done by YOU becomes great.
Where he says "yet it had been the other way around" I feel an extremely strong need to advice you to italicize the 'been' because 'the other way around' was repeated so closely.
The smiles on their lips comes greatly and we do feel relieved, but "The myriad of turning points had passed; they were complete." still seemed too early. It would probably be better left for the absolute end.
The maid part confused me for a bit because I thought America said that being all seductive! Maybe you should switch it so that it's like: A maid's voice drifted in the room just then to say, "Shall I draw a bath for you...Mr. England..."
*shrug* That's just me being dumb of course. ;
"Alfred called out for the British man's attention. In a childish moment of selfishness he tiredly raised his hands up, in the familiar motion of wanting to be picked up." Why does that remind me of RomanoxSpain's video Gibusu on YouTube? ; So cute...
Oh yeah! I remembered when I read CH1-4 (again because I wanted it to be fresh when I read this chapter) I made a note to myself about how close it was to America's BDAY. XP But then I forgot again. Love how England's just so blunt and dry and, dare I say, British about America's horrible conversation. And then *sigh* he said he would just be there till the end of the war, and here he is, yet again, promising the little boy, now a man for one more day. And then the kiss. Oh the kiss! It is in NO WAY cliche'd up, I'm so happy for you! X3 *pats head* I especially just love the "too deep, too close" part. XP
"I just...um...lost control?" *grin* (Oh yeah Mission accomplished!)
"Oh, stop smiling like that...or else I'M going to lose control..." blush (Can't believe I just said that...)
"…What about a 'good morning' one?"
"I'll think about it…Now go to sleep!"
The parenthetical note you made I think should be left out just because we already know that he will, and such. XP
And, oh, the adorable little note of America's, "I love you," and England, still embarrassed by saying it (not so much returning it) tries to wave and utter out quietly with a "yes, yes, love you too, now sleep".
And then...you know what I have to say about the ending.
*yawn* Well, hope I didn't kill your emotions too much with this review, but I really do have a good peaceful feeling in my heart and in my mind after reading this. Sorry I took so long though. ; I really wanted to save this for the right day I had insomnia, you know? Aheheheh...
Anyway, I'll read whatever edits you make and whatever...well, you write! XD Just give me time
Keep striving until you can finally right in your warnings: Pure awesomene-epic-ness instead of what you so lamely call novice-like writing. .;
Type to you later! Sincerely,
| Alice und Dinah chapter 5 . 4/10/2010
Oh...my...Such a cute chapter. So cute that there are no words sufficient enough to describe its cuteness. The ending was especially adorable.
Cuteness aside, there were a few problems (aka more nit-picky things):
Said nation's eyes snapped wide open instantly and turned towards the tortured country who was desperately wrapping his arms around his torso yet again." Said? That's a bit, um, unusual.
*"Both of them lost track of time until, completely exhausted, America let his arms fall limp to his sides and he slumped into England's embrace." Kill two words and make it "Both lost track..."
*"England moved slowly as he picked him up to move him to the other side of the bed, where the sheets were not soaked in blood." Move is used twice.
*Have more faith in yourself. Every awesome writer started somewhere, yeah? So what is the writing is "novice-ish"? It can only get better. Writers take years to hone their craft. Years. See that...Years...Years...Not days...Years...No decent writer popped into existence knowing exactly how to write. It is a process. Good writing is edited and edited and edited and edited and edited and rewritten and edited and rewritten...And so on. Good writing does not just pop into existence. It is honed. How? By being edited and edited and edited and edited and rewritten and edited and rewritten...See? Writers take classes (some anyway) and learn to kill redundant words. Ah, where was this rant going...I'm not quite sure but the moral of the story is that writing can only get better. Period.
| dark0shade chapter 5 . 4/7/2010
im not one for yaoi...but i enjoy it :P
please add more!
| watercrab chapter 5 . 4/3/2010
What a great story! Good job! You did a wonderful job of pulling history and ficition together!
| FifthDayOfMay chapter 5 . 4/3/2010
I absolutely adored this story! It ws so heart wrentching but not in the way that makes you want to throw up! It's really good, so suspensfull and interesting. I'd love it if you'd write more stories for this pairing! 3 If only more authors would write with the same depth as you do.
| moshi95 AKA sherley C chapter 5 . 4/2/2010
awesome ! i just recently discovered this series but ive gotten pretty far anyways .. this fic is fantastic!
| LupinandHarry chapter 5 . 4/2/2010
Aww what a nice ending. Well the ending of the ending, because the first part of the chapter was sad. D:
This was a good read, and I applaud you for finishing your first fic!