Reviews for The Funny Thing About Keys
Nightcrawlerlover chapter 8 . 12/10/2010
Wow. I like the interactions between Dawn and Ivy, Dawn and Dick, and the last one between Dawn and the Joker. :) Very creative and brilliant, too.

The little revelation was affecting her more than she would have liked. There was not a moment that passed when the Joker's voice, saying those simple little words, did not echo through her head.

"You glow. A faint green color, at that."

She had just assumed, after the lack of encounters with crazy people after Glory, that, when the Hell God had died, that her "keyness" had died off with her, leaving only Dawn Summers—the vessel, as Willow had described her physical form once—behind. And, the night after talking with the Joker, Dawn had been ready to cling to this thought. That was until curiosity got the better of her. She had had to make rounds that night to several different inmates—some more infamous than others—like she did most of her work nights for dinner, and she had decided to take advantage of it. Her first stop had been Poison Ivy—the only vegetarian diet in the asylum.

She had followed protocol concerning serving them, but when the guard had began to move on, she had leaned into the glass.

"Miss Ivy?" she had whispered.

The plant woman's vibrant red hair bounced as she smirked up at her from her seat on the bed, her greenish skin an almost sickly color underneath the florescent lights. But even with the poor lighting, Dawn could not deny the beauty that she was renowned for.

"What do you see when you look at me?"

She had only been halfway through her question before Ivy's eyes had widened. She slid, like a cat slinking off a chair, off of her bed, pressing a hand flat against the asylum glass.

"What are you?" she whispered, almost reverently.

Dawn blinked. That question had simply made her sick. Pursing her lips, she repeated her question, more firmly.

"What do you see when you look at me?"

"Green," Ivy whispered. "Power… pure power. Are you connected to the plants as well? Are you one of my kind?"

Dawn had only sighed, pushing her tray cart—and herself—away. She continued her experiment with every other inmate she fed. And every one… every single one… could see her. See the Key in her. The rest of her night had gone pretty much like the one with before had, save for being sent home an hour early—she had refused it.

She had to shake this. And she had to find out what it all meant. Both were easier said than done. Her mission here was to save her sister, like Buffy had done so often for her. But she could not focus. Not after this.

"What are you?"

Good question.

"What's up, Dawn?" he said, letting her out of his pin to sit back, cross-legged, on the mat.

Dawn propped herself up on her elbows. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. You just seem… out of it. Did something happen?"

She pulled herself up to sit cross-legged as well. With a heavy sigh, she rubbed her shoulder, eyes adverted. Dick was so easy to talk to, and she had no idea why this was. But no matter how easy, she could not very well tell him exactly what was wrong.

Oh, an inmate—the Joker, as a matter of fact—mentioned that I "glow" the other day. You see, I used to be the human form for a mystical, inter-dimensional Key. Or, at least I thought "used to" was the case. Nope, turns out that it didn't go away after my sister—a vampire slayer—killed the Hell God that wanted to use me to get home.

Yeah… that didn't sound crazy in the least. Dawn sighed, shaking her head.

"Something was said at work the other night," she began, trying to keep it as vague as possible. "Nothing really bad… just confusing. It's kind of kept me off guard since then."

Dick's eyes narrowed. "What was said?"

Dawn blinked, eyes wide. Then, looking away once more, she muttered, "I'd rather not say."

Dick held up a dismissive hand. "I understand. So… why is it bothering you?"

She did not answer immediately. After all, without the specifics, it was pretty damn hard to describe how she felt. Dick seemed to understand, putting no rush on her to explain. And it was a long moment before she felt confident that she could.

"This thing that was said… was a big part of my life a long time ago. And back then, when I was first learning of it, it was kind of a bad surprise. It really messed me up. And—"

She froze, trying to consider her next statement. After all, she was not sure how much she wanted him to know of her just yet… well, what she wanted him to know that was true.

"And?" Dick asked.

She blushed, the gentleness in his question making the small truth that she was considering withholding slip right out.

"The night I found out about this… thing, I slit my wrists," she said, looking away.

Her whole face was burning, embarrassed. She could not look at him as she continued.

"I'm not proud of it. It was a bad call, without a doubt. I ended up in the hospital that night, and then wearing bandages on my wrists for a little while until the cuts healed. My mother died not too long after that, and it bothers me—" She paused here, her throat tight as she fought tears. "It bothers me that that was one of the last memories that she might have had of me before she died."

Her face was still determinately turned away from Dick. What must he think of her? What must he think of a person that would do that to themselves? But she felt his hand reach out, coming to rest on hers. She gasped, a single tear rolling free, as she looked at him.

There was no judgment in his eyes. Only worry and concern for her. She smiled, sighing.

"I'm sure your mother thought nothing bad of it, Dawn. But, this thing that was said… do you still feel this way about it?" he asked softly.

She shook her head. "No. No. I've come to terms with it. And, like I said, I thought it was out of my life. But, evidently, it's not. I just worry that… that it means that something bad could happen. Um, that last part is sort of difficult to explain, but this thing could honestly mean the coming of very bad stuff. And I don't know what to do, if that becomes the case."

Dick leaned back, seemingly lost in thought. He crossed his arms over his still-bare chest and sighed. Finally, he only shrugged.

"You know what? Sometimes, Dawn, we can only burn the bridges as we come to them. There's no point in worrying over a future that no one can possibly predict. I know that none of that is much comfort, but it's true."

Dawn mulled his words over, her eyes cast downward. Finally, she grinned, standing.

"You're right. It's just… when bad stuff happens to me, to my family, it tends to be major-league bad. Gets a person worrying, you know? But you're right. You are. But…"

Dick stood, eyes narrowed. "But what?"

She shrugged. "I just wish I knew what it meant, this thing coming back to bite me in the ass."

He laughed, and she joined in.

Very extraordinary! :) And very neatly written as well.

Keep up your super-great, very brilliant and creative writing! :)
Slinky-and-the-BloodyWands chapter 8 . 12/8/2010
Oh darn you Babs-so very close. That was such a sweet Dawn/Dick moment :D I loved it. Oh, and Dawn pissing off the Joker, so not a great move, heehee. I can't wait for more of this! It's keeping me on the edge of my seat.
Nightcrawlerlover chapter 7 . 10/19/2010
This is really good so far. :) I'm sure a cure will be found for Buffy soon, hopefully.

Keep up your super-cool, very brilliant and creative writing! :)
Sailor Pandabear chapter 7 . 9/18/2010
nice
Allen Pitt chapter 7 . 9/16/2010
they should really consider sending 1 or 2 slayers to help Dawn out. maybe Faith. Unless Dawn comes up with a brilliant plan, she's not getting the blood any time soon.

I liked the 2 week time limit.
Slinky-and-the-BloodyWands chapter 7 . 9/15/2010
"Talky"-are you kidding! I love the "Talky". Willow and Xander's dialogue was fantastic: "Xander, can we stop saying 'know'?" "I'm losing lesbian street cred" ROTFLMAO-just awesome sauce. And I'm glad that you gave us a small chappy to let us see the rest of the gang. Keep up the fantastic work :D
PeekabooFang chapter 6 . 7/15/2010
Well, now THIS is an intriguing premise, and excellently executed so far! Cant' wait to find out what happens next.
Allen Pitt chapter 6 . 7/14/2010
makes sense, madmen can see her for what she really is. And she does need to stand out. She's going to need his cooperation on some level, so any advantage, anything that makes him notice or be curious about her, helps. Otherwise she'll look like a Harley wannabe.

It's really too bad she isn't a slayer, or working with one. That might make things a bit easier. Maybe magic could help?
Nightcrawlerlover chapter 6 . 7/6/2010
Ooh, brilliant! I like it - especially this part:

Joker tugged down his plain, gray-white shirt and turned his ruby smile to her.

"They don't trust me, little one," he said. Then, blinking, his grin widened. "Say… aren't you the little dear-heart that helped me to the infirmary when I got my whoopin'?"

"Yeah," Dawn answered shortly, opening the door and sliding in the tray as quickly as possible.

She slammed the little door shut, standing erect once more. The Joker let out a long, hard laugh. When he finally caught his breath, he shook his head.

"What's wrong? Scared of clowns?"

Dawn crossed her arms. "No. But I've heard a lot about you. And none of it good."

"Not even from Harley?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "She doesn't count!"

Joker laughed again.

"You know, I never did get to thank you."

His voice had changed, taken on a tone that Dawn had never heard of him using before. It was darker, silkier, and she didn't like it. He moved from his place on the wall and pressed his gloved hands up against the glass, moving his face as close as he could as well without pressing his nose up against it too. Dawn, involuntarily, took a step back. Then, chiding herself, she retook her step forward.

He was not a vampire, a demon, or any other type of bogeyman. He was just a human. But… he did creep her out in a major way. Again, of course, he laughed at her.

"You're a strange one, Dawn."

"So are you. Why would you remember my name?" she asked.

He shrugged, stepping back. She chose not to speak again, waiting for some sort of response. But, when she realized that he was just toying with her, she scoffed. Grabbing the cart rather roughly, she turned it around and began to walk off. She was just passing the end of his glass wall when he said, "Hey… has anyone ever told you that you glow, chickadee?"

She turned, gave a sarcastic little grin, and said, "Flattery will get you nowhere, Joker."

She flipped her hair as she turned back around, and the guard—who was leaving to continue with his own rounds—seemed to find that funny, chuckling as he walked away.

Dawn was nearly three feet away from Joker's cell when he shouted his next words.

"Who's flattering? You glow. A faint green color, at that."

She froze.

Fantastic job writing this chapter! :)

Keep up your awesome, super-creative writing! :)
Slinky-and-the-BloodyWands chapter 6 . 7/4/2010
I actually heard Mark Hamill in my head-"And so forward. Please, miss, never on a first date!" LMAO. And then, when he was in front of the glass, I was picturing Hannibal. Very amusing line-up in my head. Great chapter! Of course, any chapter featuring the Joker is great. *squee!*
Allen Pitt chapter 5 . 5/2/2010
the Riddler likes her. That's probably not good news. But hey, what could possibly happen? She's close to the Joker on occasion but she'd have to get much closer to get a blood sample, and he'd have to be unconscious or all tied up.
One possible-that thing about how the Joker insisted someone owed him a favor, for years. She could try something very weird: ask for the sample, and tell him she'd owe him a favor. Would probably have to show him something though. Magic, something like that. It'd cause huge problems later, but if she got Buffy cured, maybe they could manage to deal...
Good thing she didn't lie to Dick, at some point he'll run a background check.
Slinky-and-the-BloodyWands chapter 5 . 5/1/2010
Haha, you're right-Joker would love that song. Great chapter :D I don't blame Dawn for the slack-jaw at seeing Dick topless. Hee, and the Riddler scene at the beginning was fun, too. But I absolutely can't wait to "meet" the Joker in the next chapter. I'm far more excited than I should be, lol.
Sailor Pandabear chapter 4 . 4/4/2010
nice
Slinky-and-the-BloodyWands chapter 4 . 4/1/2010
Great chapter, Trish! I can't wait for the next one. I'm so excited to see how Dawn gets herself into trouble-bc, come on, she's Dawn. With criminals. There's trouble to be had, lol. Excellent work introducing us to the asylum itself. Keep up the fab writing!
Sailor Pandabear chapter 3 . 3/20/2010
ok, interesting. she needs the joker's blood? oh boy, that's a... hard task.
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