Reviews for The Beast Within
Nastrandir chapter 23 . 8/3/2010
Diplomatic solutions indeed XD

Fluffy in action was awesome, and I love your angry, thwarted frost giants. The moment at the end, with the tranquility being restored, and Leela feeling it, was lovely, and her worried moment with Gann in the fight was very sweet :D
Nastrandir chapter 1 . 7/24/2010
Ah, the memories...the flashbacks are the main focus of this chapter, I think, and they're very powerful. I like the mix of past and present, and how Leela is trying to keep going forward. And the 'Gods, she felt hungry...' comment is really quite chilling...very good :D
Nastrandir chapter 21 . 7/14/2010
Gann trusts her :D

I very much enjoyed this step forward between them, beautifully handled. The general restless atmosphere of Ashenwood is great, very haunted, and can I say how much I love the Daeghun flashbacks? Wonderful :D
BlueRoseofWinter chapter 14 . 7/8/2010
A very nice descriptive chapter. I loved the way you portrayed the battle scene.

Also, the twist at the end when Bishop appears was neat too.

Keep it up! :)
Nastrandir chapter 20 . 7/6/2010
Over-friendly Nadaj is definitely spooky...

Again the banter between them all is great...I love Gann getting all narky about Okku's comment, and Safiya's reliance on things she's read, and the flashback fills in gaps very nicely.

Good chapter...and stop worrying ;D
Nastrandir chapter 19 . 6/30/2010
Oh, I loved the Daeghun memory...he's so long-suffering, poor ranger.

The fog/cold stuff here was really good, really atmospheric, and there's this real sense that they're far away from anything safe/nice/warm.

Dalenka was suitably snippy, and I can't wait to see how Leela and co deal with finding out certain things about Nadaj later :D
Nastrandir chapter 18 . 6/23/2010
And I wondered why you upped the rating :D

Very well done, the memory and the pacing. Leela and Gann's moment was lovely, though I have to say that Fluffy stole the show again...there's something inescapably cute about a spider seeing snow for the first time :)
Nastrandir chapter 17 . 6/20/2010
Freaky gargoyles :D

I love how you've made the guys react to them as something odd and weird rather than just another obstacle in the adventure, because they are weird. Can't wait to see Myrkul later, heh heh heh.

Gann's little moment at the end was very nice...poor confused hagspawn, he's going to get the shock of his life later.
Nastrandir chapter 16 . 6/20/2010
Magda was great, though for some strange reason I've always liked her. I am so loving Safiya and Leela's relationship - it's easy when you've got a female PC/main character to let Safiya slip by the wayside and become uninteresting, but you make her really great :D
Nastrandir chapter 15 . 6/10/2010
A very lovely memory indeed ;) I like how you're pacing her past with Bishop alongside her learning more about her current situation.

And it seems that Gann actually cares a little more than he pretends, heh.

I liked Leela's recognition that Okku can really help her - she needs friends who can understand what she's going through, properly.
Nastrandir chapter 14 . 6/10/2010
The battle was nicely chaotic, very hurtling. I love Gann and his snarky attitude - he's great fun to read.

The Hunger was awesome, though obviously not for Leela, heh. I liked her really having to fight it...I always thought there should've been more to it that just clicking 'resist' or whatever.

And now she sees Bishop...intriguing :D
Arc Ascendent chapter 15 . 6/8/2010
Hi, another great chapter. I'm interested to see where this is going and I like that you are moving quite slowly through the story, it gives time for characters to be developed. Okku was always my favourite character in MOTB so I'm glad you saw to spare him, well it seems definitely like what Leela would do. Should be great to see how he fits in with everything and the party.

One minor gripe. When Gann and Okku are talking you use the game dialogue word for word, but it doesn't always fit in with what's been said before. It feels a little disjointed perhaps. For example Gann says "She's a spirit eater apparantly" when that was just established, and also Okku speaks of the spirit who saved him without much introduction, quite suddenly. Perhaps adapt the game dialogue a little more. I hope you get what I mean, if not I can be a little clearer.

Otherwise, great job!
Nastrandir chapter 13 . 5/26/2010
Nice ratcheting of tension...the opening was evocative and strangely beautiful. I really liked Leela's wordplay with Gann - she holds her own very well.

And the Hunger...urgh. Horrible, but very effective.

It is a little short, but I understand keeping the battle on its own :)
Nastrandir chapter 12 . 5/16/2010
Nice to see Leela and Gann learning a little more about each other, even if he deserved probably more than just a flounce-off for prying around in her dreams.

The memory of Daeghun at the beginning was very sweet, and Fluffy is just too adorable. Even though I generally don't like many-legged beasties :D
Data chapter 12 . 5/15/2010
I am really enjoying this so far.

Leela seems an interesting character, I wonder how she is going to deal with what is happening. Looking forward to her dealings with Gann too.

I like the fact that you are describing the nasty effects of the hunger on her, I always felt that both in the game and in many stories, this was perhaps not emphasized enough. I mean Leela has basically lost her soul(since it is in the wall), and the soul has been replaced with the empty hunger. This should have a big impact I think.

Anyway, there are far too few great MotB stories on ffnet I think. I think it is great that you are writing this (and so well), and I am really looking forward to finding out what happens next.
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