|Reviews for Victory at Ostagar|
| dyslecksec chapter 3 . 3/28/2010
You've got a good premise, and are executing it marvelously. I especially like the fact you're bringing forward Loghain's more...positive attributes. While I'm not a fan of his (his good parts don't change that in the game he was a traitor and a paranoid fool), I have a lot of respect for the complexities of his character, and an appreciation for how you're addressing that. I very much look forward to seeing where you take this story, particularly Cousland, Loghain, and Howe.
| joe chapter 3 . 3/28/2010
Loving this so far,
"Let's not tell anyone we don't know that. We can look wise and say it's a secret. " had me chuckling for a good while . eagerly awaiting the next installment
| Sarah1281 chapter 3 . 3/28/2010
Oh, Morrigan and Flemeth found him did they? I suppose that if they didn't have to worry about rescuing the Wardens they'd need to do something else to endear themselves to the Wardens so they could come along. I guess if Uldred is going to be planning his little coup he'll have to do it alone since Loghain won't support it now that there's no problem with succession and he has the treaties. The 'don't tell recruits anything until a year' makes sense in as far as easing them in about being a Grey Warden and would explain why Alistair knows absolutely nothing.
I liked how Loghain's opinion of the Wardens kept changing based on the information. Is he right that no noble would marry a Warden or is that just his anti-Warden prejudice speaking? If the Blight were over and they somewhat rebuilt the Wardens, surely one could step down from active duty and if no one knows about the potential lowered fertility then it would have to be the same kind of thing that stops people from marryng mages. I know mages aren't legally allowed to hold titles (unless Alistair/Anora decides to make them Teyrn/a at the end and when they become Arl/essa in Awakenings) and that GW are supposed to give up their former life but is that just a tradition their order uses or does it have a legal basis? Anora pointed out in the game that supporting Alistair without marrying him to her looked like the Wardens were just trying to gain power by putting one of their own on the throne but no one else even mentions it. When you eavesdrop at the Tavern, they're either concerned that Alistair is a bastard or because they think he'll hae no idea what he's doing and Anora is capable (and has Loghain before all of his dirty laundry comes out). I know a lot of people consider beoming a GW to mean forfeiting all claims they had previously, but does it say in the game that it's a legal practice or just a conventional one? And which is it in your story? Also, Loghain's really going to have some explaining to do about Eamon if he doesn't have Jowan immediately pull out. I know that Loghain was planning on confronting Cailan politically had he survived Ostagar and wanted Eamon out of the way for that, but they'll be busy with the darkspawn for months and it isn't practical to keep Eamon incapacitated for that long, especially if he doesn't need to cut off Cailan's support. Loghain's right that Cailan will see his fill of war by the time this is over and if he lives to the end this should be enough to 'harden' him and make him a better King, especially should his eyes be opened to the conditions some of his people live in.
I am kind of curious how the other origins would fit in. We know all of them take place before Ostagar (although I suppose that the Dalish elf and the dwarven origins could have taken place later if the plot demands it) and so Brosca should probably be in a cell, Aeducan in the Deep Roads, and Amell/Surana locked up for what Jowan did. Is Bronwyn planning on heading to the prisons to recruit or have they all managed to escape but have nowhere else to go so they join up? So, yeah. Long review but ths is a really interesting premise.
| Matobar chapter 2 . 3/27/2010
Okay. Uhm. Where first? Wow, I do enjoy this. I like you've changed the story up, and are pursuing a new one. Epic win in my book broski. Okay, I also like how, as in the game, you have the overarching task of dealing with said blight, as well as the more menial tasks such as finding equipment, talking to soldiers, and you even included Alister's cheese! 3
| Donroth chapter 2 . 3/27/2010
Oh! A dragon age fanfic! This makes me want to play the game again. Can't wait to play the expansion and read your next update! :D
| Judy chapter 2 . 3/27/2010
| Snafu1000 chapter 2 . 3/26/2010
An interesting twist to canon that should provide plenty of interesting changes. I look forward to seeing where you take this.
| phoenixarchive chapter 2 . 3/26/2010
Cleverly written and fantastic and plausible interpretation of how the battle of Ostagar could have gone had they won. Enjoyed Bronwyn's speeches to her servants and soldiers too - very inspiring. Can't wait to see where you go from here, thanks for sharing your writing!
All the best
| Sarah1281 chapter 2 . 3/26/2010
I like how Browyn is all 'we're meeting with the Teyrn' and Alistair has to remind her that the King will be there, too, because she - like a lot of people probably - thinks meeting with Loghain will be more profitable. Fergus is probably still wounded out in the Wilds, I wonder if they'll find him. Since the Highever men are still around they'll probably realize he never came back and at least look for him. The fact that so many more people know about Howe means there is very little chance he'll get away with parading about as Teyrn for as long as he did.
| mille libri chapter 2 . 3/26/2010
This is very good! I'll be interested to see where it goes. I like your Cousland and her devotion to her duties and her people ... and the slight hint of classism with the "... needle and thread. And elves to wield them."
Your writing is detailed and interesting, and I really appreciate your attention to the details of grammar and punctuation. Looking forward to the next chapter.
| SSJ Girl chapter 2 . 3/26/2010
Yay! Another chapter! And no Loghain, which sort of dissapointed me, but again excellent character development for Bronwen and Alistair. I really like how you're not making Alistair sound pathetic. Uhm... after so many hours in game I could hardly stand him anymore. XD But you're doing a good job with him!
And Bronwen, I really like how she's hurting, yet how her upbringing is still shining through. She bears the responsibilities and burdens that come with her station well, I think. Or at least as well as can be expected. I really liked the tidbit you included of Bronwen and Duncan bonding on the road. It's so cute! I sort of always kept my character a bit angry at Duncan and too sullen, but gratitude would probably be much more apt.
I also liked the glimpses you showed us of the servants and soldiers and how Bronwen knew their names. Of course she would! It makes everything just more real.
My favorite lines were Bronwen's curse ( Andraste's nightgown!). Haha, how very creative and the sergeants final lines. Masterful!
Also, I can't wait to see what'll happen to Howe! Curse him! Gr. D: I'm very curious to see what you'll do with it and how you're going to incorporate Morrigan. :) And of course, curious about the game ending. Did you finish the game already? I don't want to accidentally spoil anything.
Best of luck writing. 3
| bioncafemme chapter 2 . 3/26/2010
Fantastic! Your characters are very real. Thank you for sharing this.
| SSJ Girl chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
Very interesting premise! I can't wait to see how you're going to continue! I think you were spot on on the portrayal of Loghain and Cailan. I particularly liked Loghain, he made a lot of sense. While I've sort of despised him in game (no matter what) you made me have some sympathy with him here. Well done.
And Bronwen, of course, has the perfect attitude. Just as I've been playing her. Haha. ;)
| ofk38493848488 chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
I really love this story, although obviously at this point it's a little hard to tell where it's going. I like Loghain, he seems very true to character. I like how detailed it is, and I love the saying from Highever. Also a great depiction of Cailan.
Ah, I'd like to provide something really thoughtful or whatever, but I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have to wait a few chapters to see where you're going and how it's all coming together. Looking forward to reading more.
| bioncafemme chapter 1 . 3/18/2010
LOVE it! Can't wait for the next chapter. )