Reviews for Facing the Con sequences of Your Actions
wotumba1 chapter 1 . 10/14/2014
love this story!
Waltz Turner chapter 1 . 1/31/2014
Very insightful! I think that while Neal is noble and has a heart of gold, he still has a lot to learn about being honest and unselfish. I think what we only see a glimpse of in the show is all the emotions hiding behind Neal's confident facade. Which is why fanfiction is great! Keep on writing!.
huge sg1 fan chapter 1 . 2/14/2011
i think it's good. i really hope you plan on finishing it. it's a good story. i want to find out what happens to neal. :)
Deej1957 chapter 1 . 10/22/2010
had some free time so I'm catching up on some of your stuff I hadn't had a chance to read yet.

Would love to see this expanded. I think it's very real; neal has no clue that what he does has very far-reaching consequences for his victims.

It would be awesome to see this done on screen!
L.M.Lewis chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
Beyond the questions of morality and ethics that this thought-provoking story raises, I think you created an excellent riff on Keller's personality. I can hear his voice quite clearly in this story and you extended his M.O. in a totally believable direction.
Leonore 09 chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
I disagree that he felt bad about the bond forgery to Gless. He actually said that he felt bad because Gless had to explain why his unforgable bonds were not. He empathized with that. Gless could easily afford the loss. Neal felt bead theta Gless daughter was kidnapped and natural reaction. Neal is not bad.

Keller trying to disturb Neal is fine. However Neal as a portrayed in the show would just be in denial. Neal is not responsible for others actions.

In fact it is a rare person that would feel bad about what actions another takes after they fell for a con or anything they have done. A con man would not.

Neal is not a child but a man in his early 30's well set in his ways. He may not feel the need to steal. But he doesn't feel bad about his accomplishments. He may change to feel that other ways are better.

Your need that he feel ad about being a criminal is to fulfill your need.

This is fanfiction and that is fine. Your justification was strange so I addressed that.

The story was good until Neal broke in panic which is out of character and jarring to the story. Within a story it is important that the character be consistent otherwise the reader is jarred out of the story.
Olivia Sutton chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
Hiya -

I read this earlier on my phone - and my first thought was, "I like it except the ending author note" - but I've had a little time to think about that. (FYI - I can't post reviews from my phone 'cause I can't log in. This is irritating beyond belief). Anyway, I'm not a fan of long author notes (tho' I've been guilty of posting them myself) and explaining why you wrote something seemed oddly self-serving.

BUT - having said that, this story brings up an real interesting point about having a protagonist who isn't a traditional "hero". I generally have to be in the right mood to watch a caper film (e.g a film like "The Sting" or "The Thomas Crown Affair" or the TV series "Hu$tle" - where the heroes are trying to pull off a crime, tho' usually for "noble" reasons). In part, it's 'cause caper films by definition portray the "criminals" as good guys. And in part, it's 'cause any good caper film is also going to be a fantasy - practically by definition.

So, last summer I recorded "White Collar" on my DVR because it sounded interesting - but I didn't watch it for months (I actually watched it just before the new eps. started in Jan. So I basically saw all of S1 without the mid-term break). I hadn't been in the mood to watch it - til I did. And the first few eps. didn't impress me - 'cause I was looking for a caper show (which WC really isn't - after all, Neal usually is NOT pulling off crimes, he's solving them).

Anyway - all of this is background to say I UNDERSTAND your point, both in the fic and your notes, about crime causing pain and suffering even when it's "only white collar crime".

And the story was REALLY well-written. You captured Neal's attitude perfectly, esp. his complete aversion to violence (something I admire about his character. I think he's the first crime-solving character I've EVER seen on an American TV show who doesn't carry a gun or use violence. I've seen that on British shows, such as *Doctor Who* but not American ones.)

I really, really wish you'd given Peter a bit more to do. He should have reassured Neal a bit more. He should have pointed out (well, ok, he DOES, but Neal isn't really listening) that people are responsible for their own actions - so if someone had bad luck after one of his heists, that's not Neal's fault.

Also - Keller's motivation was a bit fuzzy - was he just jerking Neal's chain? Was he intending to get something from Neal, like access to his goods? What? Bit up in the air.

Finally, just a couple of odd spellings in your fic, that I thought I'd point out (and you might want to fix).

It was "The Anti-Caffrey, the Bizarro-Neal). Bizarro World was a alt. universe in DC Comics where everything was backwords (e.g. Superman was a super-villain, etc). The specific line in the episode does reference Tim DeKay playing the "Bizarro-Seinfeld" in Seinfeld - and I'm assuming it's the same spelling, 'cause "s" wouldn't make sense (Bizarro is slang for "strange" anyway, and comes from "Bizarre").

The other one was spelling God "G-d". The only time I've seen that spelling is on Orthodox Jewish documents from like pre-1800. It's not even modern Orthodox - it's VERY historic. It looks weird, and you wouldn't offend *anyone* on this site by spelling out "God". If you have personal reasons for it, oh well, but if your like trying not to "swear" or something, either use another word or write around it, or realise your characters speak a certain way. (E.G. - Ever notice that in canon on the actual show Peter swears, mildly, but Neal almost never does? - That's part of their *characters*).

OK, so long winded review, but I thought your story was REALLY interesting. And it did bring up a great talking point about Neal. Maybe you should consider joining the WhiteCollar_TV Live Journal community to start posting discussion.

HuffynDK chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
OK, I don't totally agree but its a unique and fresh take so I wil stick with it. I think though this is awfully heavy handed and not giving Neal much credit for the hero he has shown himself to be, showing in actions the change he has done in his life. Actions speak louder then words. As a survivor of abuse too, with Neal, I would say that one of the things that we often live by is our past is our past. There isn't really anything that we can do to change it. To feel shame or embarrassment about our past is wasted energy and very self defeating, often twisted to aid our abusers in destroying our self esteem. We feel that the only two areas of our lives where we CAN change is our present and our future and THAT is how we make ammends for things we are not proud of. So that COULD be the rationale behind other writers thoughts who write that way including maybe even the shows creator. I give you kudos for a brave and different approach and am interested to see where it goes.
Surreal13 chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
I thought that the idea for the fic was excellent. It's a point I've mentioned in discussion groups - Neal's crimes would have victims. Even if the target is wealthy, it doesn't make them less of a victim.

A lot of people in the fandom like to sweep under the rug that Neal was in fact a criminal, and they tend to treat him as a slightly misguided FBI consultant rather than a man who broke laws and was incarcerated.

For that, I applaud your story.

I did feel that the fic became a little melodramatic at the end, and I agree with the one reviewer who said that Neal had plenty of time to grow up. You almost negated the point of the story with that line.

Otherwise it was a wonderful story. It would be interesting to see where the story could go next, so I hope you continue to dabble in this "verse" of White Collar. :-)
pjd chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
I think you're right, to an extent. I think Keller's examples were probably too extreme-many (but not all) victims of white collar crimes are corporations (or the government) and they have more protection and means to recoup losses. But Google Denny Hecker some time-former MN car salesman recently indicted on approx. 20 counts of wire fraud and conspiracy to commit wire fraud. His father-in-law/business partner ate a bullet last month. And there's a reason Ponzi scheme victims get to make statements at sentencings.

With regard to your story, the first part where you set it up was kind of confusing. I understand that the meat of it was the conversation with Keller (and you wrote Keller's dialogue REALLY well), but it felt like you rushed to get there and left the reader behind wondering what happened. Also, it's "Bizzaro" (like the Superman character) and Gless's first name was Stuart.
BrownSheep chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
When I think of White Collar crime I think of Enron and all the lives that were destroyed because of the greed of a few men who chose either not to think it through or to disregard the consequences. They set in motion a scenario that started with intentionally creating a false financial foundation knowing it could not have a good ending. That is a responsibility they had to accept. Neal has to accept the responsibility for starting a scenario that was bad at the start and, therefore, could not have a happy ending for the people involved. Thanks for giving us a reality check.
Enfleurage chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
I pretty much agree with most everything in the story except for the sentences "Neal was not given that grace, that time to accept, learn and adjust. He had not been given the time to grow up."

A man in his 30's had plenty of time to grow up and learn how his actions affected others. Why he didn't could be debated, certainly it was due to lack of opportunity or time.
Ursula4x chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
This was unusual but well written and plausible. The janitor story was to me the most plausible story as I assume Neal preferred rich targets because of his view that his crimes were a game.

I am glad you wrote this because Neal's lack of shame told me that he didn't understand that his crimes did not lack victims.
cobonoox chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
I like this portrayal. So are u saying in your note that being on probation with peter and the FBI is a harder punishment then being in prison itself? hope your continuing!