Reviews for Gone
meelee72 chapter 1 . 9/4/2014
This was hard to read & hard to accept. I'm in pain, still...
- u captured the hopelessness & the darkness so well. Ur words are beautiful & haunting. An amazing gift / talent.
- But, ugh, it hurt so badly.
I'm glad I read it because it was so superbly done, but now I have to get past it.

I am moving on to more of ur stories, & I hope I'm not ripped apart again.

YellowGlue chapter 1 . 4/19/2010
I've never read a single story in all of FF that made me cry.

And this made me fucking sob.

Like, I'm still wiping tears off my cheeks.


This was so well written darling. I'm not a mom, I can't imagine how deeply it twists a parent's heart to read this.

This bit: "Edward stood braced in the doorway of my room. His arms were crossed over his chest and his shoulders were drawn in. Clenched fists shook with restraint. An anger and sadness so profound, it could almost be its own separate entity, radiated off of him. He did not look at me. Didn't once glance my way as I let out a shuddering sigh. I closed my eyes for a moment and when I reopened them he was gone. He never returned." actually made me cry out loud. I had to pause to get Kleenex.

Kudos sweetheart, you evoked some intense feelings in me, for these characters with a o/s. I'm impressed, intrigued, and eager to read more of your work.

TwiTwin1 chapter 1 . 4/17/2010
Ahh! I know, I know, this was written for an angst contest, but this ending was just too sad. Very well written, but ah. Now I have to go watch a pixar movie or play with a kitten or something
lambcullen chapter 1 . 4/17/2010
You made me cry!

You're so wonderful with angst bb!

beegurl13 chapter 1 . 4/15/2010
Wow, great story. You did really well with this, the description in it is great. It's heartbreaking...

Good job! :)
Twilight44 chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
Post partum depression? Poor E.
sexhair08 chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
omg, that was awful, seriously, not the writing, just what happened, wow.

very good, you certainly delivered the angst.
VanPireNZ chapter 1 . 3/26/2010
This is the first piece I've read of yours and I just love the tone and feel and imagery in your writing. It was so easy to lose myself in your words with all my emo lamo boiling over.

I knew what was going to happen, but you know, it was so relatable with the way you portrayed the characters. How many times as a parent have we all forgotten one thing that that has such massive ramifications? It's just heartbreaking to know it was a single moment of lapse, or drugged lapse as the case may be, that altered the paths of so many lives.

Some of my fav lines from your piece:

~~In the beginning he was a light guiding my path to safety and security—my lighthouse of hope and love. But his light had long since flickered out and now I was left to flounder aimlessly in the dark to crash upon the rocks, never to find the shore.~~

I just love the hopelessness that this bit brings with it. Heartwrenching!

~~It felt like an out of body experience as he gave me the information that I needed to know but never wanted to hear. Bits and pieces came together like a bad signal on the radio. Colby.~~

I could hear that part. It was just perfect.

~~That little nudge I had feared came in the form of a startling blow.~~

Just love the connection between the previous reference in the piece.

So glad you entered. Best wishes for the contest


(aka PrairieDog on Rav)
shalu chapter 1 . 3/22/2010
well you're just a ray of fucking sunshine aren't you, baby? *pops 3 xanax with a benzo chaser*

honey, you have such beautiful prose, it's kind of sick you don't do this for a living. that said, you might kill me.
luluubelle chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
oh, damn squib!

I just feel numb after that.

that's just... damn. no words. just numb.
BettiGefecht chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
holy shit, that was truly... devastating! *sobs*
Black Balloon Contest chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
Thank you for entering.

Good Luck

sweetp-1 chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
Gah. This was so good. The description of a depressed mother in a dying . So realistic, it hurt. And then of course, the ending. I think I need to go have a stiff drink now! Well done bb
Feisty Y. Beden chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
Good gravy, I need to lie down now.

Thank you for not naming the child Remumblemumble. At the same time, what is it with you and the smushing of babies?

You really painted the post-partum dysmorphia and the way a marriage falls apart under the stress of parenthood so vividly and painfully. For a sec I thought this story was going to go ... Susan Smith? Was that her name? The lady who let her car sink into a lake with her kid in it?

Anyway: lovely, dreary work.
MaleficentKnits chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
by now you know that Mal vies to by your number one fan... the tension, the anger, the frustration you must have channeled for this story. One feels Bella's despair and jealousy... her hopelessness and loss... only you could write a bleak, miserable, wretched tale that breaks Bella so completely that she can never be fixed... you bring a wicked smile to this cold, black heart... Mal loves you...
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