|Reviews for Unimaginable|
| Sakural7865 chapter 4 . 5/27/2010
Who's the mystery person? Awesome fic! More please!
| kyelmarsh chapter 3 . 4/25/2010
good job i loved the chapter it was very good keep it up lucky
| kyelmarsh chapter 2 . 4/22/2010
cool nice story im loving it so far but we have to see what hapends to know for shur but im positive you will do awsome.
| where-is-my-tennant chapter 2 . 3/29/2010
yay! i like it! i do think that ash gave in too quickly to his mom though...but whatever! lol! see you in class!
| where-is-my-tennant chapter 1 . 3/24/2010
WOW. This is amazing! Your writing style has improved greatly since I last read a work from you! Yay! I like the way you used your words to express he characters and how it's not repetitive. Can't wait for more! (Can you guess who this is?) :)
| Mind Where Odd Thoughts Drift chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
This is a truly interesting story. I like the plot (your cliffhanger was very good), and you have good characterization, I could totally believe that these characters were Ash, Dawn and Brock, and not some demented aliens from Star Wars.
However, you have two problems that I can see. A, you have several grammar errors in the story that need fixing, but they are relatively minor errors and the story did not look like a dog stepped on a keyboard and then posted what he had "written" on (some stories look like that nowadays). And B, you have a serious lack of description. I had no idea what the place Ash, Dawn and Brock were at before going into the pokemon center looked like, had no idea whether they were wearing the clothes they normally wore or a completely different attire, had no idea what the inside of the Pokemon Center looked like. I would advise you to crank up your description a notch, or your readers will be reading a story set in an endless void of blackness.
In general, you need to speak to someone that knows a bit about grammar, and just write out that little scenes in your mind that you had when you wrote the story. I think this fic could be incredible, and all you have to do to get there is write down a few adjectives.