|Reviews for Return Once More|
| Guest chapter 4 . 1/16
Please make a next chapter!
| Guest chapter 4 . 12/20/2016
Please update it!
| Ahewi20 chapter 4 . 5/30/2016
Amazing story so far i love the romance between alice and mirana please update soon.
| sara-nadia chapter 4 . 4/28/2016
PLEASE UPDATE PLEASE
| LizGillies chapter 4 . 3/8/2012
I love this story. Question though.. Will this still go on? Cuz it's been a year..
| meechiegirl chapter 4 . 2/28/2012
Wow! That was freak in awesome. You are an excellant writer. PLEASE WRITE MORE!
| TheChiaroscuro chapter 4 . 10/16/2011
-3 -3 -3
I love this story... :3
| TheChiaroscuro chapter 3 . 10/16/2011
| TheChiaroscuro chapter 1 . 10/16/2011
| KM Rune chapter 4 . 7/21/2011
this is cool. i hope there is more to come.
| NamelessSaint chapter 4 . 6/28/2011
Wow...its been a long time. Are you going to finish this because if you don't I'll be so sad.
| Dre chapter 4 . 2/20/2011
Firstly, a question; will there be another chapter to this story? Or is this the complete works?
Secondly, some tips.
Your story had an ok story line, but it didn't seem to have any conclusion. Maybe if you wrote up in point form a very brief (as in, one paragraph) where the story will go.
Get a complication, some sort of problem, and make your character/hero solve it. Then the reader feels closure. A sense of satisfaction.
Your vocab was good. But some more work on improving your grammar and spelling would go a long way.
Proofread! It's a great way to make sure you've used all the right spelling and that words aren't left out. Which i noticed a lot. Sometimes words were missing in sentences. But i was able to fill in the gaps by things you had previously written.
Don't waste time over-editing. I have no idea whatsoever if you do or don't. But it's a problem i used to have. I was too critical of my writing and kept changing bits. Stick to your guns. If you have a story planned, you won't mess with it as much. Which is good! it saves your precious time & keeps it fun.
Which is always, in everything we do, top tip number one.
Make it fun. Keep it fun. Don't let it stress you out, stress isn't fun. Send your characters on exciting adventures, or romantic ones. Make them do things you dream of doing.
Don't give them your fears, your troubles, make them do daring acts, win the girl, make them do impossible things. Entertain yourself.
The readers will have a lot of fun too.
I haven't yet made an account on here, but will be in just a moment.
Hopefully this will be of some help to you.
That is all i want to do here.
There's a great writer within you just bursting to go out.
Give yourself all the best tools & you'll always have fun with it. :)
Take care. :)
| gaby2angel chapter 4 . 1/17/2011
xd this is sweet i feel bad for alice :P c'mon mirana clear her feelings up! great story
| Kay8abc chapter 4 . 1/8/2011
I liked the story.
| Dark.Dragon.7 chapter 4 . 1/4/2011
well, i like this chapter, sweet so which song inspired you? hey update soon please!