|Reviews for Mass Vexations|
| Guest chapter 8 . 4/12
Could you imagine Yahtzee being thrown into ME? I, for one, think it would be fucking hilarious
| Guest chapter 22 . 3/29
"Smile in some combination of stuff"
You couldn't have put this vaguer if you tried. It communicates nothing, and is an ugly sentence to boot, it would have been better if you just wrote that he smiled.
| Guest chapter 22 . 3/29
In places you really overuse the word 'interesting' to the point that it comes across as word repetition.
You sometimes do it with other words also, but this one it the worst.
| Ibskib chapter 2 . 3/29
The SI really comes across as an idiot, is he socially retarded? Not incompetent, but outright retarded?
Talking about Dante after Fist is killed creates just about the worst first impression he could, as well as being a tad nonsensical, it makes absolutely no sense to imagine Dante kicking Fist in the head.
(wow that is a weird sentence)
I've noticed several clumsy or imprecise wordings, the spelling itself is fine enough (except wierd - weird), but it could still have used a tad more editing to avoid things like this:
give my - give her my
that musicians can't exactly take - that musicians are unused to
once all this happens - once all this over
looks sort of like an Asian - looks sort of Asian
that's led me to a realization that I want to talk to someone about once we get this whole Saren business settled - that I wanted to talk with someone about when all this is over
(overly wordy and clumsy)
get them out - get it out
"I'm bright and breezy because of all the beautiful and new things I'm learning about them. Most likely day by day"
(I'm not even sure how to fix this, since I'm not completely sure what you intended by the last part, it makes little sense. If you explain it or reword it, I might be able give a better response)
There were more, but it's the ones that stuck out the most
| Ibskib chapter 1 . 3/29
that guy who had to stop because he started getting hallucinations had been playing for 15 hours, if your guy succumbed after only 6 he must be seriously lacking in mental fortitude. :-)
| Silly Thoughts chapter 17 . 3/20
Wait so vexation is just the same chords over and over? And he played it for 6hrs straight? Why didn't he remember it at all? It would just mean playing those chords over and over again why would he need the sheet music to play it?
Nevermind he's got so many more death chances in ME2 suicide mission for the basics but also the ssv Normandy blowing up is just as a dramatic end.
Sure suicide can be done as a no death run but only if you wait around collecting resources to upgrade your ship and going on everybody's personal missions, stuff time in reality probably won't give Shepard.
Silly man, he seems to be vexed.
| Guest chapter 22 . 2/19
So... Mass Vexations.
If this comes across more as a retrospective than a review, well, guilty as charged. I remember reading this back in the heyday of Mass Effect self-inserts. I guess I've been a bit nostalgic, so I came back and read it again.
My initial impressions were actually... not great. The way he ended up in Mass Effect was a total deus ex machina, but you're allowed one unicorn and I think it was explained later on, so that wasn't actually a problem for me. What I did have an issue with was his transformation from everyman to badass, which I found rather implausible. And who are all these names and what are these things they come from? I have no idea who John is and I don't know a single person who has played Heavy Rain. And oh god, the cliches. Why not come clean?
But I'm reminded of the original Star Trek. Star Trek was, by today's standards, pretty bad. It was cliched, poorly made, and often found itself mired in the thinking of the 1960s. On the other hand, it's important to remember that this was the first time many of these stories were shown to a wide audience. It started the cliches and tropes that would be rehashed, recycled and reworked over the next half century. Similarly, Mass Vexations came out in 2010, which if memory serves was before the glut of self-inserts. Others would do things the same or differently, better or worse, but this was one of the first attempts.
What did I like? I think the narrative style and voice is the best thing about this fic and probably what made it so popular in the first place. The use of references got better as the fic went on; they became more appropriate and easier to place.
The writing quality was generally pretty good, though at times it seemed you were playing fast and loose with canon. This was 2010, though, so hindsight is 20/20 in many cases.
All in all, I think Mass Vexations holds up pretty well even if it isn't perfect.
| CD123505 chapter 2 . 10/9/2016
I find this story interesting but in a way is art really the oc, since its a self insert shouldn't it be an oc self insert instead
| moosejuice5 chapter 4 . 6/4/2016
Why does he need the sheet music? He was playing it for hours, surly he has it memorised by now if not in muscle memory
| Frankie The Abridged Reader chapter 9 . 5/22/2016
| Ultimate Student chapter 18 . 4/19/2016
So you're a Talimancer.
| Rangle chapter 2 . 4/15/2016
Huh, that's a lot of references from artsy ones to pop culture ones. The way the SI got into Shep's team is a bit pushing my suspension of disbelief, but it's not like the canon game was more realistic.
| Rangle chapter 1 . 4/15/2016
A musician that writes fanfics... how interesting.
| DMD Hanafin chapter 3 . 3/12/2016
No point for Renegades? Pfft what? Who wants to play as a pussy when they could play as a no-nonsense badass.
| agigabyte chapter 3 . 10/26/2015
People never seen to realize this is a deconstruction.