|Reviews for A Lone Lion's Pride|
| Maddy02 chapter 1 . 3/22/2010
I'm currently toying with my own Leon-hunting-Andre story, so I am interested to see where you take this.
Your language is good, "The thoughts mobbed his mind" stands out to me as a rather good descriptor for what Leon was probably feeling at the time.
If I have any criticism at all it's the length (or lack) of the chapter. Filling it out a bit more, putting in some background as to how he got where he is and such wouldn't be a bad idea. (Is he at an inn? How long has he been apart from everyone?)
Oh and I wouldn't bother giving him a surname. None of the characters have one. If the people of the world refer to figures of authority -like Johannes or Heath, by their first names it's reasonable to assume family names don't exist.
I look forward to your next instalment
| saphren chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
Wow... You got me confused with that dream... I thought you really killed my fave characters... Good story and is the dream going to still be used?