|Reviews for The Whitlock Haunting|
| Samsal11 chapter 18 . 12/1/2015
This was absolutely amazing. I have to tell you I hate twilight fanfiction but when I came across yours I was hooked. I know it's been almost 3 years since your last update but would you please consider finishing it?
| predictions chapter 12 . 6/6/2015
Is Alice Suzan?
| deltagirl74 chapter 18 . 7/26/2013
Wow, that was an awesome ending to Benjamin and Harriett. All those ghosts connected to J/A. Now that Jasper knows the truth, will he regret his life with Alice and what he lost with Julia?
| Anne Shirley Cullen chapter 18 . 7/25/2013
So love this chapter.
| usagiharuka chapter 18 . 7/25/2013
What a wonderful surprise! Glad Jasper finally knows the truth. And Julie is free ! Savanna and others can cross over now. I wonder if they are going to connect the dots that Rosalie is Jasper niece through Latvina or is that going to be discovered in the The Ghost of Rochester 2: Appalachian Spirits? Is Thomas going to show himself to Carlisle or is he going continue to bother Esme? So many questions ,so many untold stories. Please update soon.
| Tee Hill chapter 18 . 7/24/2013
great chapter :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
| PurplePandasLoVe chapter 17 . 5/8/2013
You better update soon! I'll die if you left this amazing story unfinished.
| Tee Hill chapter 17 . 10/20/2012
great chapter :)))))))))))))))))))
| Anne Shirley Cullen chapter 17 . 10/6/2012
ooh can't wait till the next chapter. also, i want to appoligize for not getting rochester ghost part two back to you. I have been so buzy with school.
| deltagirl74 chapter 17 . 10/4/2012
All the pieces are finally fitting together. Now Jasper knows the truth, I wonder what he's going to do with it. It's wild how you fit everything together making Rose Jasper's niece. Hope you update soon.
| BeautifulMessenger chapter 1 . 3/28/2012
Interesting premise for a story. I like it. And I'm curious about this mysterious haunted room.
There are a few misspellings and such in this first chapter. Huston should be Houston. Getaway, in this instance, should be "get away".
There are a couple things that don't seem consistent with real-life, too.
First, a receptionist doesn't generally ask if a guest wants a specific room. Not unless their resort has special, themed rooms and guests will almost always have a preference.
Second, if the resort has a room that is "haunted" they will likely advertize it as such. As Sara observed, there are people out there who enjoy the thrill of sleeping in a haunted house/room/forest and are willing to pay for the privilege. It would probably be a more expensive room because of this.
There are few writing style changes that might improve this as well. Your story could use some more description to break up the dialogue. And a slightly slower pace would help, too. I have difficulty explaining this so I'll just give an example. It could open like this:
Jasper and Emmett strolled into the expansive living room from outside, chuckling and punching each others arms good-naturedly.
"I swear I'll get you some time, Jasper. One of these days I'll learn all of your tricks and you'll learn some respect!" Emmett threatened.
"They aren't all 'tricks', Emmett. Your only chance of beating me is if you ever learn to think with your head in a fight instead of your emotions. As it is...well..." Jasper trailed off with a wicked chuckle at Emmett's growing scowl.
"Jasper, come take a look at this!" Alice called from the couch, interrupting the banter between her husband and his brother.
"What is is?" Jasper moved swiftly to look over her shoulder at the screen of her laptop.
"Just look! I never knew..." Alice's voice was filled with excitement and awe at what they saw on the screen. The header of the webpage showed a large colonial-era multifamily home with the title "The Whitlock Resort" emblazoned over it in bold red letters.
You see, it moves much slower, but you get more of a sense of actually being there and seeing it happen.
I love Jasper and Alice, as you probably know ;), and this seems like such a fun adventure for them to go on! Keep at it!
| Tee Hill chapter 16 . 12/6/2011
great chapter :))))))))))))
| jeangary28 chapter 1 . 12/5/2011
| Anne Shirley Cullen chapter 16 . 12/5/2011
Ooh love it.
| deltagirl74 chapter 16 . 12/5/2011
Wow, all the details are finally making sense. I really thought Julia hated Alice for having Jasper. She was just angry period that Benjamin lived a nice life while he raped and killed her. I'm really surprised that Latvina did so much for Suszan. I love the joke being on Harriet that her prized grandson still loves and married Julia's descendent.