Reviews for Abandoned
DracoSheild234 chapter 1 . 5/31
Alright, I'm gonna give it to you straight. This first chapter is way to fast paced. All this information is thrown in the readers face before we even know what's going on, and no time is taken to establish the relationship between Lyle and his Mawile until the very end, and even that is make unclear. And the characters seem very one-dimensional so far. The story concept is what is keeping me reading right now. (Sorry that this review is so harsh, I just felt you should know about these problems.) At least you can spell, unlike some others on this site :)
Grimgrendel chapter 28 . 5/30
This slice of life of Lucy was soooo precious! We get to see her in her natural element, smoking and flirting and girlying out for a long deserved bath; along with various other new characters. They each only get a few words, but with those few words, they carve their personalities down in stone! This is amazing! At the speed you improve your writing, Abandoned will soon become the masterpiece it deserve. Keep it up!
GlIcHy-WrIteInG chapter 26 . 5/2
Pls add a male ralts that hates evolution pls
DragonClaw chapter 26 . 4/29
I like this story hope u add a male ralts who doesn't want to evolve
Grimgrendel chapter 27 . 4/27
What is this? It has been 4 days, and you wrote four chapters! You are writing chapters faster than I can read them. Not that I am complaining, mind you xD

Ch26 : I never thought I would see pokemons putting the internet to good use. This was a nice way to show some background info on Noir, even though it begs more questions than it answers. We already knew Noir was dangerous, but holly cow is this a bloody mess now. Can’t stop reading. The cliffhanger is calling me.

Ch27 : Amy is a nerd acting as an airhead in public to make friends? 0_0
I am.. shocked. It does add to her character in a nice way, but it is so completely out of the blue that I have a hard time grasping the shift. In any case, we now have an idea of who did this and for what reason. It would be nice to have Amy join the investigation, now that we know she is skilled. Mist will need all the help she can get to follow the clues and to unravel this mystery.
Grimgrendel chapter 25 . 4/24
JASMINE AND PLUM ARE SO ADORABLE! OMG THE CUTENESS!

I am liking Jasmine more with every line I read. She is so caring and in touch with pokemons! She would be an ideal trainer for Plum. Giving Plum her business card at the end was an especially important touch, as it really cements the fact that she sees Plum as an equal, as a friend, human or not. I do not know if I should expect the card to be relevant at some later point. I gained a profound respect for Jasmine, and I would really like her to make another appearance later on. One can dream right?

The little witty thoughts of Plum are always a pleasure to read. A little highlight that made me laugh : “Much personality on this one. Such wow.” Oh, Plum, much snark wows me such.
Grimgrendel chapter 24 . 4/23
I am still here. I have waited, and would have waited some more, to read again about my favourite little mawile. I am glad you did not give up on this story, as it is one of the stories I like the most.

Now, on with the review, shall we?

Is this some tearjerking backstory between Plum and Noir?! That Lucy? I believe it is, and I ship them so hard, ever since Noir appeared xD
. . .
And then I read the part where Noir brainwashes Tale and she appears as a perfect mastermind. WHAT IS GOING ON?! I demand answers to this mystery! This is so confusing, but I love Noir so much right now!

The fighting scene with Plum and Jasmine was something I was totally not expecting! I am surprised about that Ice punch at the end. That is Maki’s move right? Is Plum somehow able to learn moves that her alter ego also knows? So many questions! Such a wonderful story.

I will be waiting patiently for the next chapter, as I always had.
Vick lopez chapter 23 . 11/22/2015
I like this fanfiction a lot and I guess you got caught up in your life and never finished this. If you did happen to though I would like to know where the rest is or if you just never published the other chapters. If you can will you inform me at lvick744 gmail. com I would very much appreciate it. This really is a great fanfiction though and I thank you for writing what you have.
GirlFish chapter 23 . 10/23/2015
I just hope that, soon enough, Mawile's old trainer will get the full karma he deserves.
Grimgrendel chapter 22 . 7/12/2015
It's been a while! How are you doing? :3

I see you took my advice to have Plum do some training. Keep it up, and soon she'll be world champion! As for Noir and Plum, the teenage romance is strong in those two! Always fun to read 3
Grimgrendel chapter 21 . 10/15/2014
Cool battle! :) Is Ruby going to join the team? Probably not, but one can dream. xD

Seeing everyone's level, I'm surprised that Noir is only at level 33. Knowing that she is related to Maki, I expected her to be about as skilled, around lv94-96. Maybe she can somehow dodge the poked detection and make herself appear weaker, but I somehow doubt that. So if she's really lv33, what the hell does she want with Maki?! So suspicious…

Plum also needs to get stronger. She's lagging behind everyone; even Tale (having evolved once) has way better stats and attacks than our beloved mawile. It's time she finds some time to train on her own and familiarize herself with her attacks. She needs to be up to the task of protecting Noir after all :P
Grimgrendel chapter 20 . 7/24/2014
Up until the very last line, I fell more and more in love with Noir; it's just so cute how she acts around Plum! x3

And then she had to do the evil laugh. Noooooo! Why did I fall for it! xP It was clear she was faking, yet a small part of me (well, okay, quite the significant part) wanted her to forever stay this shy and adorable. I'm so damn conflicted about her character, and I love it :D It's also funny how Plum naturally reach out to her, while being perfectly aware how weird this is. I'm sure she's as conflicted as I am right now :P

I'll be waiting for more (romantic) development among the current team, along with a continuation to Maki and Sky's infiltration of Team Rocket. I don't have a clue where this last part is heading to, but if it features Maki, sign me in for more! :D
Grimgrendel chapter 19 . 7/11/2014
A gothorita! I wasn't that far off. xD

Noir is so manipulative, it's scary. She must be of a very high level, which may be how she's able to read Mist's mind without her noticing. Or, she doesn't actually need to invade their thoughts to read her. I don't know which is worse… :\

We saw some more of Maki! YAY! x3 And by the look of things, we might get a tidbit of info or two on her soon. I can hardly wait. :D
Ikuto Verule chapter 18 . 5/2/2014
Another excellent chapter! I waited about three months before I came back to this website to see if you had added another one, and it was totally worth it! love the use of suspense and comedy. I'm going to start wrinting fanfictions myself soon, and I was wondering if I could add you as a friend on facebook or something. Keep up the good work dude! (oh and ps again, could you add a hyperactive riolu named ryu to the team? it would be so awesome! 3 but anyways its your story so just keep adding awesome material! Reveiw ya next update!)
Grimgrendel chapter 18 . 4/2/2014
So many feels! So much tension! w
I love how you make them all interact with each other in such a realistic way. Under the usual bickering between the two, both Plum and Tale reveal that really they care for each other, not just as traveling partners, but as friends and family.
Loving it 3

Aaaaaand, new mysterious characters. I wonder what pokemon Lady Lucy(Noir apparently) is. My first guess would be a Gothita, with Shuppet as a close second. Are they looking for Plum too? If so it seems like everyone is looking for Plum for some reason xD

Keep writing. Cause I'm still reading :)
43 | Page 1 .. Last Next »