|Reviews for Abandoned|
| Grimgrendel chapter 18 . 4/2
So many feels! So much tension! w
I love how you make them all interact with each other in such a realistic way. Under the usual bickering between the two, both Plum and Tale reveal that really they care for each other, not just as traveling partners, but as friends and family.
Loving it 3
Aaaaaand, new mysterious characters. I wonder what pokemon Lady Lucy(Noir apparently) is. My first guess would be a Gothita, with Shuppet as a close second. Are they looking for Plum too? If so it seems like everyone is looking for Plum for some reason xD
Keep writing. Cause I'm still reading :)
| Ikuto Veirule chapter 16 . 1/17
(I already commented on chapter 17, so I have to review on this one instead) Btw I think Aruma is awesome! A psychotic, bloodthirsty jubilee Pokemon? SWEET! Oh and Please let Tale pull through. It would kinda suck if he died from the toxic attack. although that would make an interesting plot development... BUT NO! Tale must live on! For Maki- err Plum!
| Ikuto Veirule chapter 17 . 1/17
DUDE WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?! I woke up at 12:00 at night with a sudden urge to look up mawile hentai. AHEM... I turned on my nintendo ds and browsed the internet. I some how made my way to this website and stumbled upon your story. I COULD NOT STOP READING! Up until 6:00 in the morning, I stayed up reading your fanfiction and I must commend you! You have made an excellent story! I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter, I MUST FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS! I'm begging you to post the next chapter! btw do you have a facebook?
(PS: This might sound a little selfish on my part but could you include a hyperactive riolu named ryu? Please?)
| Grimgrendel chapter 17 . 8/15/2013
Vern is so cute! I'm definitely shipping him with Plum, even if you say there is nothing romantic there. I can also see some resemblances between his master Serena and Plum. Long black hair (long black mouth/hair), porcelain skin (mawile qualifies), the most gentle touch (Plum is acting unexpectedly nice to him). If he loved his trainer, I can see why he has fallen for Plum :)
And he definitely needs to make another appearance later on.
"Yes... take that you jerk, I totally outrank you in Mist's head. And you are just a whipping boy... muhahaha."
I laugh so hard! xD After the motherly scene with vern, hearing Plum make an evil laugh is just so out of character but so appropriate that I can't think of anything but WIN!
I'll patiently wait for more, even if it takes six months or a year :) That's what fans do, no?
| Torterra999 chapter 16 . 7/21/2013
| TheCutestMew chapter 16 . 7/19/2013
Please finish this fanfic, it's amazing! And you've pent waaay too long working on this to just stop now! I want to learn more about their pasts and stuff!
The only problem is sometimes you use 'past tense' where you should be using 'present tense'
Anyways, keep up the good work!
| mr unset chapter 16 . 1/26/2013
you there? you gonna update anytime soon? please do... i really wanna see how it all goes...
| Killthief99 chapter 16 . 12/13/2012
Yay! You updated it! We also got to learn a little bit more about Maki and finally Sky is in the story! I wonder if he will actually win, because he seemed pretty weak in Plum's memories.
| FaYis chapter 16 . 12/7/2012
Loved that combo move!
Typhlosion's coolest is eruption, then smashing through falling rocks with double edge, and finally, as soon as all the reckless running into eruption debris has torn apart it's health, Blaze Activated BlastBurn!
| Grimgrendel chapter 16 . 12/7/2012
Great! A new chapter! So now we have an unknown psychic that's going to join Plum's group. I wonder what kind of pokemon it is. An Espeon? A Gardevoir? Oooohhh! I want more! The plot is expanding. So many question with the first one being :Who's Maki!
And then we have Sky looking for his sister Maki and challenged by her former master. This is going to be interresting!
| Killthief99 chapter 15 . 12/1/2012
Great story so far! I love how you have given Plum all these different personas that could occur in her dreams or desperate moments. I feel sorry for Plum, if her childhood was pretty much being surrounded by perverts and being experimented on. But the parts with Sky was pretty funny. But there is still dome confusion that occurs to me about Plum is again, all those personas. Are they linked to each other in some way? Hopefully you'll cover that one day in the story. Hope you update soon!
| Grimgrendel chapter 15 . 11/18/2012
Wonderful story thus far. You have nailed your characters' personalities very well. I especially liked the tsundere pidgey, Tale. Having a crush on Plum; ahhhhh, so cute! Add in Mist the mighty dictator and a cute, mysterious, sarcastic girl in the mix and you have a perfect comedy recipe!
Mawile is one of my favorite pokemons. Cute, and deceptively powerful. Just that got me hooked in! I'm also quite curious about Maki, that other personality of Plum. It has a lot of potential for complex emotional struggle if you want to go into a more psychological story. I would love it if that's what you were aiming for!
Also, you said it's getting hard to write, and I understand that, having written a fiction myself. I'm just sad that you brought if forth, because this is really a good story and it'll be such a waste to stop now. It has everything it needs to become great, if only you persevere through it. There's not much fanfics out there that give Mawile the spotlight and yours is the best of them. Please, don't let this poor pokemon be doomed to oblivion. Show everyone what that huge pair of jaws of capable of! I became quite attached to your characters and want to see more of their adventure.
So persevere! Find your inspiration and continue writing this great story. Watch Pokemon episodes; play the game again; read other good fics if this is what it takes. Just don't give up just yet.
| FaYis chapter 15 . 11/14/2012
I see someone's been playing B2/W2 huehuehue
actually i feel like so much has changed in this piece since I started reading. I guess that goes for anything anyone writes, but oh well. I feel like you've really nailed plum's character too, not that I myself know much about the maybe overly trusting sarcastic girl type. I'll stick to water types. I know a lot about them.
| FaYis chapter 10 . 10/14/2011
so anyway, cool chapter, but you don't always have to go around noting things like "Plum said" or "Sky exclaimed" also, you should seperate things different characters say, such as...
The yellow mouse explained, "Im adopted, and I have a huge crush on my adoptive sister! Technically it's legal, but it's still kinda weird!"
The steel type...
see? right where you start a new statement from a different character, you should skip a line, not only does that save you from having to always specify who's speaking, but it also looks better. like, you can then go,
then the pikachu dubbed Sky,...
"IM GONNA MOLEST DA POKEMOONS!" was the response from the second guy.
| WyldClaw chapter 3 . 10/11/2011
that's nice that siren and holly are being so nice to mawile ... or is it a trick