|Reviews for Kyon: Big Damn Hero|
| n0mster chapter 13 . 7/5/2012
Haha, a fantastic chapter, nice to see Kyon really be able to whoop some ass on his own now, though Yuki's display was awe inspiring as always. Once again, the misunderstanding between Mori and Kyon was pretty hilarious, can't wait to see if Kyon's mother finds out about his protection.
Really like how Kyon's harem is developing, Tsuruya seems like a great addition, she's another distinctive character and she brings her own brand of energy to the gang. Now that Kyon's got a Yakuza Heiress as well, I can only wonder who else will be next, maybe a proper vampire? (Just not a sparkly one)
| n0mster chapter 12 . 7/5/2012
Oho, delicious misunderstanding between Mori and Kyon co, really liked the out of phase conversation they were having, haha.
| RealRemaider chapter 15 . 6/8/2012
Hmm... Kyon seems a bit out of character... He'd be more oblivious about certain things... Then again, with everything he became and gone through in this, it seems natural...
I guess I'm more used to narrations by Kyon only, so fics like this seem 'alien' and with OOc to me...
That does not make this bad. In fact it's a pretty cool fic. I'm on the edge for more... Keep up the good work!
| Nauran chapter 1 . 6/6/2012
I was caught up in Haruhi's excitement. When I got out, I was like... "Whaaat did I just read?".
Must continue on. Later.
| RealRemaider chapter 2 . 6/2/2012
Wow, first chapter and I'm already hooked...
I found this through the reviews of "error in calculation".
Kyon and the IDE seem a bit off... Kyon isn't that all out of a hero and the IDE knows that if it moves against Nagato, Kyon would tell Haruhi the truth and save her... Still, Awesome concept.
I'll read the rest later and put another review with some more thoughts.
| chimmon chapter 14 . 4/27/2012
The different characters POV's were nice, especially for Kyon's little sister and Nagato. It makes you wonder what details they might notice or miss in other situations.
Kyon's default thoughts of what someone might want to talk to him about were funny. I was going to say something about his parents calling him "Kyon", but the lampshade was actively hung for that one.
| Korsar13 chapter 15 . 4/26/2012
All chapters are available at /brian/fanfic/kbdh/
| chaosglory626 chapter 15 . 4/24/2012
You know you should fix/continue this story. It isn't messing me up much as I have like 40 chapters of it saved on my Nook. It would be nice to get more though, and even if you keep switching around where the story is, that doesn't stop the story from being one of the best things I have saved and one that I reread all the time.
| Grosstoad chapter 14 . 4/3/2012
'"U...uh, w...well," he started, stuttering nervously, his eyes darting away even as his grasp on her hand tightened. "W...we really... I mean, if this gets back to Haruhi, she'd get really mad, but..." He sighed, slumping slightly and shaking his head. "Who am I kidding? I'm going to burn in a very special hell for this - but it's worth it. Just to warn you, though ... I don't know if I'm any good at this.'
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHHA! Love it!
| Steel General chapter 15 . 3/29/2012
The author's personal site is not PRECISELY down; what happened is his domain name expired from whatever service he used to register it. His site is still being hosted, and can be found at:
: / / 6 4 . 6 2 . 2 3 1 . 1 0 1 / /
| Barricade chapter 15 . 3/29/2012
Looks like Durandall's personal website went down, so unless you backed up his chapters beyond Chapter 14 (or his other stories), its all gone.
Which is a hell of a shame as he just uploaded a new one about a week ago onto his site (which I was in the middle of reading when the site went down) that was like Chapter 37 or 38 iirc, if not even farther out.
| funkmasterjo chapter 4 . 3/24/2012
"Roll With the Punches" - Tadamichi Kyousuke
| R. Controversy chapter 3 . 3/23/2012
At the moment, the second proper chapter is as far into the story as I've read with a critical eye, having given it a summary read-through previously.
Technically speaking, it is commendable. There are a few instances of stilted syntax, none of them particularly jarring, and very few grammatical errors to speak of. My only material complaint would be the abuse of the ellipsis in your dialogue. It is a marker intended to indicate omission, as when a speaker trails off or deliberately catches themselves. You are using it as a kind of dramatic pause marker where, in fact, a comma or a dash will do. It may sound pedantic, but if you overuse the mark, you devalue it or confuse its meaning in the mind of the reader, making it less useful when you actually need it. I might also suggest finer attention to your locational prepositions.
The characterizations are also largely consistent with the canon, though the real test is how well you then develop upon them, having proven you start from a sound foundation. That, I think, a mere three chapters cannot qualify one to comment on. I'll withhold that analysis until I've read further. Both dialogue and actions fit their characters as I understand them. That you have laid a solid groundwork is beyond dispute.
The narrative voice, however, suffers from a profound weakness; it doesn't exist; at least, not so far. You have emulated many aspects of the canon quite well, even down to the kind of story you're choosing to tell. In light of that, your choice to narrate from the omniscient third seems an odd one, as what elevates the novels above many similar concepts is the charm of Kyon's narration.
It would be a disappointment, truthfully, for an author who has managed to meet the technical standards so well were content to totally mime the original author; part of what makes fanfiction so enjoyable is the unique spin each author can give the setting, beyond just the "what if" of plot. Yet, in place of Kyon's perspective, you've given us ... a very bland, clinical narrative method. I cannot really call it a 'voice.'
You narrate as if describing data you are largely apathetic towards, relying on the interest of your premise and the interactions of the characters to secure our investment. Part of great narration is careful thought put into what you will and will not describe being and happening in a scene; it's not merely an additive or subtractive process, nor is it reporting. The choices you make of what to describe and how you describe it shape the tone of events as much as the plot points and dialogue. As it stands, you have my interest, but I am about as emotionally invested as one would be in 'Spot is a dog. See Spot run.'
In a way, I can appreciate the idea; certainly progressive fiction has shown us that with sufficient vision and skill, one can draw emotions out of the reader with as many or as few of the tools in the literary kit as they wish, but your dialogue is not so powerful that you can yet afford to neglect your narration.
Understand that you are at a threshold in your development as a writer; there is precious little more technical refinement can do for you. Beyond this point, progress will come from a widening of your vision, and an increasing investment of the self into your work. You must decide what you want to accomplish in your work. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking only to entertain, nor is there anything to be gained by seeking profundity at the cost of entertainment. But if you wish to progress in any sense, you must draw on yourself as a person.
Based on my admittedly limited sample set, on a scale of Unreadable (0) and Masterful (10), it's Good (6). I'll look forward to reading more.
| delax chapter 12 . 3/19/2012
Sex jokes FTW
| onerustybucket chapter 15 . 3/15/2012
I'm confused. I thought you weren't updating on FFnet anymore?