|Reviews for A quarter after one|
| Schermionie chapter 1 . 3/27/2010
Oh, good ending! I didn't expect that. I suppose this is a difficult situation for both of them.
Nitpicks: I spotted a few errors; as this has been betaed, I figured I'd point them out so you can fix them. I hope that's okay.
"It had been two months since the day she last saw his face, and she hadn't stop missing him for a second." - 'stop' should be 'stopped'.
"It was way past midnight and Gregory was not to come back from his meeting with the Dark Lord at least until sunrise." - In this situation, we would be more likely to say that 'Gregory would not be back': 'was not to come back' sounds like he has been expressly forbidden from coming back before sunrise - by Daphne. I think 'would not be back' is preferable here because she is speculating about the future, maybe. So the sentence should be, "It was way past midnight and Gregory would not be back from his meeting with the Dark Lord at least until sunrise."
"Weighing her options, she stood up slightly loosing her balance and left the room." - This was a bit unclear when I first read it, I think because I took 'stood up slightly' to mean that she stood up only a little bit, not that she lost her balance slightly. To remedy that, I would put a comma before 'slightly' and another after 'balance'. Also, 'loosing' should be 'losing'. :)
"His wand was ready in his hand to lift the wards to let her in, just like it had every night for the last couple of months." - There needs to be a 'been' after 'had' and before 'every'.
I really liked this. Their longing for each other burned from the page/screen ("It was as if he could breathe again" - lovely), and I could feel for every character involved. It was a nice glimpse into the universe of another fic, too. I didn't need to read those to understand it. Great work!