|Reviews for Evolution|
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 33 . 2/1
Reviewing for chapters 1-33.
When others said that this story should get awards for cliffhangers, they sure aren't kidding. (I don't mind though!)
Your writing is better than most professionals. I've spotted maybe 10 typos with verb tense or pluralization, but that's what editors/proofreaders/word processors/being a professional writer and having the time would be for.
Somewhere in the early Mah'Habara threw me off. I don't remember exactly what it was, but I think the pacing was a bit quick. Out of the frying pan, into the fire without even touching the air in between. Too much beating on the characters in too short a time. There was something about worrying about blood loss, and then you made them bleed more. After reading more of the story, I realize that's sort of the style, but later you give them at least small periods of recuperation.
Chapter 25 was really heartwarming (don't even remember what it was, but I labeled it in my favorites as "made me cry", and there are several other times tears have came to my eyes). Chapter 33 is disconcerting, but it should be. It made the horror awfully funny. "Her bladed lance is two stories high and Lightning wonders if it was always that big. ... Fang isn't one for subtlety, after all." The hope-monster in general. The march of the behemoths! Yes they want to die. Having fun painting in the gore. Vanille's wonderfully fun party with crystals and confetti! Sazh's head goes a-rollin' and still is a-talkin'. Just beautiful how psychotic, delusional, sickening, and honestly funny (I had a few laughs) it is all at the same time.
I probably would have preferred it if the story was this high of quality, but wasn't horror, but this thing is still the best out there.
| zpeder chapter 33 . 1/28
i really hop you wil continue to update this story as so far, this is without a doubt the best finalfatasy XIII i have ever read. both the plot and your language is amazing. so keep it up
| drakefyre chapter 33 . 10/3/2014
Still as good a story as I remember. You're one of the few fanfiction authors that I would buy the original work of (if it exists). I await the next update, whenever you manage get it out. No pressure to update though, real life always of course comes before fanfiction.
| Pungent chapter 32 . 9/30/2014
And just like that, a full year has passed since the last update.
| Pungent chapter 20 . 7/15/2014
I have never read anything, fan fic or not, with enough raw power to make me just stop and think over and over again. This story decimates anything I've read before. Please, for the essence of all good and evil, finish this story. Do not abandon and forget this unique literary masterpiece. You are the only one on this planet who can complete it.
| Bree chapter 23 . 5/20/2014
Probably my fave chapter from this fic. Oh the snow/light feels! :3
| Holo chapter 33 . 3/20/2014
Wow... Been a year, huh? And this is still the story I use when I need inspiration for my writing. Hope you come back soon, Darkgirl5. :)
| Bree chapter 7 . 3/16/2014
Okay just finished reading the chapter...STILL no romance!? Really? Come ooooooon! He found her, helps wash her (does it shirtless, too!), reassures and bknds with her even more and guides her back to camp. What gives? :(
Really like Fang's humor and slightly crude comments, ha.
| Bree chapter 7 . 3/16/2014
'No sex. Sorry if you're disappointed'. Yes. Yes, I am. Haha :(
Though hot, angry, hate sex would've sufficed in lieu of intimate, passionate love-making between snow and lightning. But in all seriousness; all those cute and delightful shippy snow/light moments, yet no romance!? Booooo!
I haven't read this entire chapter yet (I felt the need to make a slightly snide post regarding your 'no sex' disclaimer), however I'm thoroughly enjoying reading this fic so far. Well written, in character, canon events, unique take on AU, humor, etc. Also at least now I know what the mature rating is for; violence, blood and gore. Lots of it.
| Bree chapter 1 . 3/13/2014
Ooh interesting first chapter. I'm curious to why this is rated 'M'. You said 'no pairings', I still got the awful, gnawing feeling of "hoperai" in this chapter. I f*#king hate Hope and "hoperai" - it absolutely disturbs and disgusts me beyond belief; infinitely.
Anyway, really lengthy first chapter: well-written, canon and in-character. Plus I'm secretly praying you changed your mind and paired snow and lightning together in the later chapters :P
| Guest chapter 5 . 1/6/2014
Less than a fifth through this story and I'm really enjoying it! Based on the reviews the other chapters I've been reading, there's more reason to be excited! I'm loving how you're getting into Lightning's character and everyone else is staying in character without becoming a cliche. Like Snow is Snow but he's not stereotypically ditsy; he made a call for Lightning. Hope really is looking up to Lightning as a mother figure, perhaps because he wants to learn how to suppress his emotions and not let it get them sway his goals. Maybe Lightning has a bit of a maternal or guiding aura underneath her shell. She was a second mother to Serah practically!
| Darkspyre chapter 33 . 11/29/2013
You've such a glorious talent with messing with the mind of your characters. It felt like Alice in Wonderland, slicing her way down the yellow brick road to Hell. I do hope that "forthwith" is on the horizon: you're as cruel to your characters as you are to your readers with these monster cliffhangers. X_x
Now, if Lightning just could skewer my Spam folder for stealing my notifications...
| Pungent chapter 33 . 11/11/2013
If there was an award for cliffhangers, this story would have won it ten times over.
I do enjoy how deeply you cut and gouge into every character's psyche. It's disturbingly entertaining and makes for fantastic character development. The explicit details and lack of sugar coating really add to the entire mood of the piece.
Hope you don't die again. Stories like this only happen once in a lifetime, and it'd be a shame if it never saw completion.
| x lonelyaurora x chapter 33 . 10/4/2013
I am so glad to see your update. I have been re-reading this whole fic because it doesn't get any less good the more I read it. And you did leave it on such a cliffhanger - I'm so desperate to find out what happens next. But I'm just glad to know you're working on it! I really do look forward to reading your next chapter. Please keep up this amazing writing, don't give up on it. You certainly still have at least one very avid reader :)
| denebtenoh chapter 33 . 10/3/2013
Totally out of this world, pal. Saddistic, even, but much more beyond that. It's, how to put it? oniric... If that's even an english word. The ending was completely unexpected, but that's something I adore of you.
Welcome back to this world of fanfiction.
We missed you so much.