|Reviews for No Living Man|
| NazgulLovesEowyn chapter 1 . 3/30/2015
Wow very nicely written :)
| Selective scifi junkie chapter 1 . 11/29/2014
This is just fantastic. It holds the style fantastically well and it really feels like something passed on by word of mouth for generations. The articulations like "But look!" lift it and break it up, something this long could become imposing to read without stanzas, the direct speech and broken lines prevent that.
| Frontline chapter 1 . 2/25/2012
An excellent piece of work, very in keeping with the original text.
Your rhyming usage is inspired, and it flows very well.
The imagery is very evocative, conjuring an emotional connection.
If there is a criticism to make, it's slightly too long, and would benefit from being more concise.
Still, this work is a credit to you.
| Aria Breuer chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
I read the poem 'Where now the horse and the rider?' from "The Lord of the Rings" first before I read this poem, just to refresh my memory.
This poem was good and the stance was very similar to the poem's style in "The Two Towers". The only grammatical mistake I caught was the second time the word "Halfling" is used. The word "halfling" needs to either be capitalized, or the first time this word shows up in the needs to be decapitalized. The spell-check always wants the word "halfling" to be captialized, much to my regret whenever I want it to be lower-cased.
Anyway, this poem was well-written and followed the style well. You did a good job.
| InkWeaverabc chapter 1 . 12/22/2010
nice I love your poems you are really talented there.
It was great at the beginning but not so good in the mid-section - the rhymes felt a bit forced, but you kept up the flow and rhythm so that was good. on the whole I enjoyed reading it and I dont normally like reading poetry so well done :)
| ShurtugalSkulblaka chapter 1 . 11/9/2010
Great I love it! It is so true, great ryming
| WhiteTree chapter 1 . 10/31/2010
Woah...that was... I can't even describe it. The imagery, the voice... Wow.
| fyudv56t779on78556e4x4e chapter 1 . 10/22/2010
Wow! I'm definitely adding you to my favourite authors. Your poetry is amazing!
| Lysana chapter 1 . 8/30/2010
Totally awesome! I must say I can't keep up with the technicalities that Ragnelle mentioned in their review. I just don't KNOW all that formal poetry stuff! :) All I can do is say how much I loved reading this.
Your ability to find imaginative choices for rhyming lines is, as always, stunning. "Strong of limb" and "Rohirrim" might be my favorite pair in this poem. Hats off!
I love the way this flows along and tells the whole story of that scene. I could absolutely imagine the Rohirrim years down the line telling this poem to remember Eowyn and Merry.
Speaking of which, it was so cool how you said "Meriadoc!" I was expecting just "Merry," silly me. But you really made it formal and respectful. Very fitting.
Last but by no means least, it is HARD to incorporate canon dialogue into fanfiction! You've managed it beautifully. Eowyn's and the Nazgul lord's lines are recognizable, and at the same time varied enough to fit the poem and to not seem stale or copied. That took talent AND skill. :)
| Ragnelle chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
This is quite a nice narrative poem, a genre I like very much. The rhythm is for the most part smooth and the rhymes do not feel overly forced. Bravo.
The large space between the lines did make it a little harder on the eyes than it could have been, the automatic double line-break that imposes is annoying that way. One tip on how to avoid it: hold down the 'shift'-key while pressing 'enter', and they go away. It takes some work, but in my mind it is worth it to get a better format.
One other thing: you say in your summary that this poem is written in the traditional Rohirrc meter, but it is not. Tolkien used the Anglo-Saxon alliterative meter for all the poetry of the Mark. It has no end-rhyme, as yours have, and the rhythm created by the half-lines and alliteration is quite different from what you use.
The rhythm in alliterative verse is created but the stressed syllables in the half-lines, and the alliterations, both which follows specific patterns. Consider Éomer's lines on Pelennor:
"Out of doubt, out of dark, to the day's rising
I came singing in the sun, sword unsheathing
To hope's end I rode, and to heart's breaking.
Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red sunset."
(RotK, The Battle of the Pelennor fields. Taken from memory as I do not have the books with me, there may be some mistakes.)
I have indicated the half-lines here with a larger gap to make them easier to identify (and it is how alliterative verse often are presented). The alliterating sounds (as few as two in each couple of half-lines to as many as four, but three is the most common) falls on stressed syllables, which is partly what creates the rhythm. There are usually two in the first half-line followed by one on the first stressed syllable in the second half-line:
"Out of DOUBT, out of DARK, to the DAY'S rising"
Mark that it is the first stressed syllable (or sound) in the word that makes the alliteration, making 'wrath' alliterate with 'ruin' because it is the 'r' sound that is pronounced. 'Unsheathing' does not, however, alliterate with 'sword', 'singing' and 'sun', not because the word begins with 'u', but because the stressed sound is 'sh' which is not the same sound, phonetically.
Now, this does not mean that your poem is not good in itself (there are a few places where the flow and rhythm can be improved, but generally it is good). The reason I bring this up, is because you made me expect a different kind of poem when you said it was writing in the form of the Rohirric poems. I expected an alliterative poem - a meter that I like very much - and got something very different. It was good enough to conquer the disappointment - for the most part - but it did put you at a disadvantage. I suggest that you change the wording in the summary a little, so that you do not give us false expectations.
If you want me to point out the slightly weaker passages, I can do that, but they are not a big problem. This is among the better poems I have seen here of this type.
| Triva chapter 1 . 3/31/2010
Very good. The use of repetition in the beginning really set the mood, and your word choice is brilliant.
| llamasandcookies chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
hey nice poem i really like the names and flow. have to say the ending was pretty epic. you hit the mark with "Of the brave Rohirrim, who was no living man."
| Anatone chapter 1 . 3/28/2010
Wow, wow, wow... This is possibly some of the best writing I've read in this fandom. Truly beautiful, and epically poignant. I loved the rhythm and movement in the piece, and the way you titled the characters was perfect for the poem's style. I will definitely remember this one. But I do have to offer a small but of advice. Your use of "alas" while effective, was a little overzealous. There are other words that have the same meaning that would fit into the poem. Other than that, it was amazing.
| Araloth the Random chapter 1 . 3/28/2010
This is epic! I once again applaud your skills as a poet, mellon nin.
"Then stand back, foul dwimmerlaik, this is my kin.
No living man am I. My name: Éowyn."
I loved that part especially. And the ending was just perfect. :) Well done!
| MerrytheHobbit chapter 1 . 3/28/2010
Wow! This is very good. I love it.