|Reviews for Cold|
| Guest chapter 8 . 10/6/2013
I'm extremely like this story, its great!
| tedsini chapter 8 . 10/2/2013
Excellent - a new chapter of "Cold." I open my email, go to the link and dive right in. First thing I notice is that the main character is nowhere to be found. I go back and read all the previous episodes. OK, I'll ride with the regulator posse for a chapter or two. It's interesting to see them deal with the same people our (anti)hero has been dealing with in Megaton and elsewhere in Chapter 2 - the supermarket raiders (poor bastards; always taking a beat-down), Moira, Moriarty, Lucas Simms and so on. You can tell that Colin is as annoyed as he is afraid of the Regulators, while he was fairly terrified ("gulped", "stuttered") with the encounter with (hmm, still no name. Is that by design? The cannibal who must not be named?) I guess Colin knows crazy when he sees it, if only on a subconscious level.
So I'm guessing that we'll be staying with the Regulators until we get to the scene of the cliff-hanger. Maybe we'll get a scene written from two points-of-view. I do like the use of "clues" by the Jaeger. Nice to have some continuity and a reason for going from point A to point B.
Just a stray thought while reading back through the earlier chapters. You seem to have split the Lone Wanderer character into two characters in your story - Christine and the "saint" who delivers the letter to Evan at the end of the Arefu chapters.
OK, early day tomorrow. Thanks for the chapter and see you next time.
| Radio Free Death chapter 1 . 10/1/2013
Hey, hope you don't mind some feedback :D
It gets a bit repetitive in the first few paragraphs, with the narrator saying that he's both cold and he's waiting to ambush someone. You don't need to repeat this over and over.
More detail wouldn't hurt, especially if the narrator is ambushing someone. I want to be able to see what he's hiding behind, and where everyone is.
[I put his shirt and pants back on his body, but not the duster, that I would keep, too cold to let something this valuable go to waste on a dead man. ]
If it's that cold, why is he saving just the duster, which is useless against the cold and is really only good for keeping dust from your clothes? He should be saving the man's clothes, which are far more valuable. It's...interesting that he dresses the man back though.
[As I began to leave I started to hear the calls of his companions, but they were too late.]
Where were they anyway? This feels like a false setup of tension.
He has a dog, but he mainly eats people. I normally would be a bit surprised he hasn't killed the dog for meat first the moment he started getting desperate, but it seems that he became too attached to the dog. The narrator complains about how food is scarce, yet he talks about how easy it is to kill people.
| LittlePorcelainDoll chapter 7 . 9/18/2013
I think this right here is some of your best writing. It's unpolished and a bit rough around the edges, but shows a lot of potential. As a beta, it's definitely something I'd like to get my fingers in and help make it shine. Reading through all these chapters in one sitting, I can tell how you've improved since the first chapter and gotten more comfortable into the role of your protagonist. And what a character! I love him. There's just something about sociopaths that makes them so much more interesting to read about and dissect. I also admire the risk you took in writing such a character. It's hard to make them likeable and attractive for readers to get into so that took a lot of creativity and balls. I'm honestly sad so see it's been such a long time since you've updated this. Anyway, I'm rambling now. I just thought to check out the story behind 300-709 and got sucked into this for the past two hours. Give me a PM if you don't mind sharing or s'cool if you'd rather not. I had a fun time reading this either way. Thanks for this!
| ecstatic reader chapter 7 . 7/14/2013
dude I just founde this story and I have to say that is fantastic I can find no flaw in its delivery and if you're not dead please update this story is the best fallout story that I have ever read the concept is new and fresh so please update
| FollieOfMadness chapter 7 . 8/2/2012
GOD DAMN IT UPLOAD SOON BEFORE I SHOOT YOU! WITH AN ESPECIALLY SHARP STICK!
With that out of my system, come on, next chap already! Pwease? For me?
Good chap, chap.
| Guest chapter 6 . 8/2/2012
Wow. That was cold, even for 'The Boogieman'. :/
I guess you could say he
(Puts on sunglasses)
ICED nicely for him to stop folling him.
Oh come on, it wasn't THAT BAD. *Stab* OW! DAFUQ!
Good chap, chap.
| FollieOfMadness chapter 5 . 8/2/2012
Aw sheet yo. I wonder how she's going to take the news that he's a cannible. Hm. Do I sense a twist?
Good chap, chap.
| FollieOfMadness chapter 4 . 8/1/2012
Meh, personally I'm not one for ME stories. The thing is, as much as I like sci-fi, the universe and atmosphere of Mass Effect simply doesn't do it for me. Fallout though, I love with all my heart. Well, one sixteenth anyway. (The other 15 slots are for the universes of other games, some of them including Assassin's Creed, PROTOTYPE, Crackdown, Halo, and various other ones) Still, I suppose I could check it out. Wouldn't do me any harm, would it?
Good chap, chap.
| FollieOfMadness chapter 3 . 8/1/2012
It's actually pretty fantastic to read this. It almost reminds me of a novel made for the Fallout universe, which chronicled the adventures of a cannible with a conscious, as he was known. Good book. I enjoyed it thoroughly. I believe it was called something along the lines of 'Fallout: At What Point Do You Become A Monster', something philosophical at least.
The guy truly is badass in my eyes. One thing that I always find about these kinds of stories, that I really like is that they'd actually make just as good a movie/tv show/anime/manga/game as they were based off of. Granted, not really the best game since it would be more along the lines of a Heavy Rain style thing, interative and all that, but still. :)
Good chap, chap.
| FollieOfMadness chapter 2 . 8/1/2012
For some reason, I'm reminded of EPICMEALTIME. O.0
| FollieOfMadness chapter 1 . 8/1/2012
For a first chapter, 'sall right. I mean, it does a good job of making me want to read more but it isn't exactly the most well-written of fanfic's.
Good chapter regardless.
| CaliforniaTD chapter 2 . 7/15/2011
Okay, so the prose and grammar could be a bit better but I'm absolutely enjoying it so far. Despite the narrator's disposition and condition I can't help but sympathize with him. It's Cormack McCarthy's the Road, with a bit of Mad Max and the good old fashioned Fallout formula.
Keep em' coming Lucky! I'll surely read what else you've got.
| michael chapter 7 . 4/18/2011
awsome this is one of the few stories besides fallout 40 that i enjoy reading. The character is deep he's not "evil" or "good" he's walking that thin grey line and thats what i love about this story. KEEP UP THE GOOD WRITING!
| Jman1821 chapter 7 . 3/22/2011
Incredible. Excellent story, your a very talented writer, im looking forward to the next chapter.