Reviews for Renegade
unanimously anonymous. mostly chapter 17 . 10/15/2014
I really like this.
It seems like this one is abandoned (?), but it's very good and interesting even compared to your
other newer stories. It's full of cool references, intense action, suspense and intriguing spy-games.

I really hope that you decide to continue this at some point.
Thanks for writing.
Apex85 chapter 7 . 9/28/2014
Just when I thought Garrus couldn't get any more awesome, you make this.

How do you do it?
Terrace4 chapter 1 . 9/24/2014
Reichenfaust - Hey, man, there's something you should know. It may just blow your mind. Rail guns and Mass drivers? They're the same damn thing.

Does that blow your mind? Well, it shouldn't, but you're apparently too damn lazy to actually research what the terms actually mean.
Reichenfaust chapter 1 . 9/24/2014
Rail guns would be a major factor in space, and GDI mastered them as part of the Mammoth tank, and the medium tank for their armies. The Ion Cannon would be devastating mid range, but rail guns are more powerful long range, especially at the established weights the Mass Effect ships use. Rail guns propel their slugs faster, and have greater range. Their is no way that they would not be on their ships. Especially because they could just laugh at the Mass driver tech when they have railguns.
Unca Bob chapter 17 . 9/2/2014
This story is an exquisite blending of two very different lores. It's smart, has great character and characters and is full of juicy details. I love it, I want more of it.
erisol chapter 1 . 6/26/2014
You deserve more views. Another fan fiction writer recommend reading your story. He's is called Paragon Reinterpretations. thought you might be interested.
alex9996 chapter 17 . 6/22/2014
Great story! I love how you portray the combat scenes. I hope you come back to this story at some point because I would love to see it finished.
Bacon chapter 17 . 5/27/2014
You ever going to post the actual update? i saw the snippet on sb from like three and a half weeks ago and figured you would have the chapter up some time ago. Whats wrong? you have not died or anything i hope? this is a very good story and i hope you post the next chapter soon.
scorpioneldar chapter 17 . 5/12/2014
very good story you have here please update this soon
scorpioneldar chapter 9 . 5/12/2014
the biotic pulse temptation was a renegade interrupt right?
Kane chapter 12 . 4/28/2014
Well I'm just dropping by for a moment so let's get things done, shall we?
The reason for which I'm leaving this comment here is obviously for giving you an idea.

Anyways, what I wanted to ask you is this: Would you ever consider using the concept of Cabal's Cyborg Reapers within this story?

Well I ask because of a few things, first if I recall this right then wasn't there some sort of Nanotech/Bio-virus unleashed on some poor sap's by Nod in order to create a new version of the Marked of Kane, I recall this being part of the story Eagle's Fall, second, well look up the works of the following artists on the site Deviantart, Tribble-Industries and swirekster, those guys have some serious intriguing C&C artworks in storage, heh maybe they might even help you reignite your imagination into action, third, the Cyborg Reapers done by swirekster have some sort of pincer/mandible growths in place of their lower jaws thanks to a Tib mutation (at least that's what he said they were) and well those things kind of look like they could be used as injectors, so considering the "new", correction prototype Marked in Eagle's Fall and the possible injectable nature of what made those guys into these really scary fuckers, well I'm sure you can come up with some real nasty shit if not even create down right nightmare fuel from this idea, no?

Hope that helps you with your story.
Bye
Arekanderu chapter 17 . 4/25/2014
Cool story
Ganheim chapter 15 . 2/18/2014
Chapter 14 (15)
consequences of disobedience ending in the word "lasers
[I enjoy your sense of humour]

humanity was comfortable with keeping large populations in space
[One wonders why they don’t just start building generation ships]

it reappeared in a burst of Cherenkov radiation
[Your story is unlike Star Trek: the technobable is used correctly]

Its on the far side
[It’s, I believe]

she steppe dup beside
[Running space]

Politicians and military were predators by nature
[Probably more the former than latter, in several senses. Militaries tend to react, politicians tend to act for themselves]

The augmetic arm
[augmented?]

a report. Sir."
…hear the "you dolt"
[Shorthand for “With all due respect”]

He kep his voice
[kept]

alien influence or-
[Missing closing quote marks]

Blunt, tactless statements had their uses
[Yes they do]

splinter sects of the Brotherhood had either reaffirmed their loyalty to Kane or had suffered abrupt, bloody changes in leaderships and then reaffirmed their loyalty
[Hah]

so he could step around obstacles without…banging his shins
[But that is a shin’s function…]

has made reconsider
[made me?]

Such extensive augmentation…was uncommon
[I would think the practicality would’ve started to win out as the centuries ground on]

but its taking time
[it’s]

my weapon everytime
[every time]

guns tp bring down
[to]

Turn you into a giant killer doom cyborg?"
"I doubt it," Shepard said, shaking her head, but made a mental note to ask Tali about the idea
[Cyborg bling?]

Chapter 15 (16)
and locke dit under
[locked it]

behind visor monocle
[a visor]

frigates moving in picket formation
[I know different countries use this term for a couple stances, I wonder which one applies here]

in his tone..
[Period typo]

Pressly, sound general quarters!"
[I wonder what this term would be in a setting where spacers evolved from Air Forces instead of Navies]

come, into the a
[‘the’ or ‘a’, either one seems to fit]

where the orest
[rest of?]

with the flat-planed helmets,
[I have seen them for years but never knew what they were called. You learn something new every day]

of the frigate., as
[Punctuation typo?]

Chapter 16 (17)
features as is
[his?]

"Vac and mag check
[Clipped and purposeful]

"Carmine? Huh. I thought you were dead
[At least he’s not Ken]

There was a brief, startled heartbeat…
"'Sup guys
[A door easily walked through]

screeching a glassy howl of fury and pain
[Creepy image]

out of the ship,
[I thought the idea was complete without the comma]

Carmine was still alive
[I’m not dead yet]

Great writing as always. I like how the story's definitively woven through a C&C vein now, in its beginning it was looking like another ME walkthru. Definitely its own story now.
Guest chapter 14 . 2/13/2014
The dream sequences just made the chapter kind of hard to read. They weren't bad, just way too long.
Guest chapter 6 . 2/8/2014
Shepards waayyyy too accepting of Kane. Like it's seriously jarring.

I get that she's skeptic and all but Kane's gotten several hundred million people killed, and risked the total annihilation of the human race, both almost purely out of his personal lust for power and "ascension" whatever the hell that turned out to be.

History can be biased, but it's not THAT biased. Her excuse was flimsy at best.

It's like Hitler just walked up to her and she played nice.

I get disturbing feeling this fic is going to show Kane in a sympathetic light. God I hope not. He's a mass murdering sociopath with a god complex, one of the most infuriating game villains imo. The brotherhood of nod
in the games could be charitably described as a fanatical deranged cult, willing to risk the destruction of the planet for the words of their self proclaimed prophet. Whom I might add they knew almost nothing about. And that's when Kane was actually in charge.

I mean he could barely keep the brotherhood under his command long enough to accomplish his vague goals.
How many times did he get betrayed now? It's a bit jarring that he's actually kept himself as the leader of the brotherhood for now.
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