Reviews for Renegade
primedirective chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
hey just read the whole story posted at SB, great story, please's hard to find readable ME fan fics...
MaxNight chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Dude 2 thing

1 From thi chapter i ca see this wil be a great story so update soon and don't you dare to put it on hiatus or shit like that:D

there be Kane prety please :D
The Drunkard chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Definitely a great read. It's rather interesting looking at roles such as Cerberus being converted into the Brotherhood (from what I understand so far), but what I'm mostly intrigued in and hoping you'll expand is the presence of the Scrin. They obviously had more advanced technology even compared to the Council races, and it'd be interesting to see their position in the Mass Effect universe whether they be agents of the Reapers (if you go that route) or if their roles coincide with that of the Rachni.

Overall, great first chapter.
Fanityfan chapter 1 . 3/31/2010
I like this a lot better than your vanilla novelization.

With this fusion you break the limits of the game's plot.

While I admit that your game novelizations are awesome, they feel a little constrained. This story feels fresh and exciting to me.

I don't mind that you essentially recycle your Shepard, because I got the feeling that your character is very well thought out and deep and the best Shepard characterisation I've run across so far.

In my opinion, this story has a lot more potential than Graveyard Shift simply because this isn't a rehash (even if it would've been from an interesting perspective). "Renegade" allows for your own creativity to shine through better and even if the plot is 99% the same as Mass Effect's, there's that one percent, which means I won't know for sure what's coming in the next chapter. To me, that's quite important. I played the game, and loved it, and I'm hungry for more but I would rather devour something new than read about events I know about.

I'm really excited about this story and hope you keep updating it regularly, but honestly, every chapter of every story you write is a gift, and I'm thankful for all of them. So write what you enjoy and we'll keep enjoying them too :)
General Aurum chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
This is certainly a surprise. A very pleasant surprise, of course.

I think this may be your most ambitious project yet, Peptuck. The idea is absurd, yet pleasing at the same time. C&C and Mass Effect? They’re like peanut butter and chocolate—each delectable in their own right, but somehow even more savory when combined. I am very interested in this story, as I think it has the potential to be more kickass than a hundred Havocs. Speaking of which, I know he’s hiding here somewhere—the title alone tells me that much—can we get an idea of when exactly he’ll come blasting in with his signature flair?

Digressions aside, I do notice one big thing which evokes my critical side. You’ve admitted to borrowing a lot from your other Mass Effect escapade, and I think you may have missed an opportunity with your new, female Shepard—an opportunity to create a totally new character. From what we’ve seen so far, she’s very much the Shepard of Graveyard Shift, but with… different anatomy. I mean, she was born on Mindoir, has biotic abilities, is a War Hero, and has a certain anger lying just beneath the surface, which comes out during combat. Echoes abound.

These similarities wouldn’t be so bad on their own, except they make her exploits seem more like a rehashing of your other Shepard’s trials, rather than her own unique achievements. The opening scene was very similar in both style and content to the opening of Graveyard Shift; perhaps a bit too similar, even with the twist appearance of the Brotherhood. I understand its importance to the plot, but a different background for the character might have been better. Having this new Shepard born on Earth, for instance, growing up in the shadow of Tiberium, could have led to interesting plotlines, as well as shaped her psyche in a different manner than that of Graveyard’s Shepard.

The point I’m trying to drive home here is that this is a story begging for as much originality as possible. You’ve already shattered the boundaries of the games’ universes, so I think you should take that as an excuse to go all out. You’ve fundamentally altered the canon of Mass Effect, so changes to the plot can be expected, as well. Don’t have this new Shepard strictly follow in the other’s footsteps. Give your readers something completely new to experience rather than the same tale, the same locales, the same enemies, and the same prose.

Now, there are many questions the fan within me wants to ask about this new universe you’ve created, but I’m sure they’ll be answered in due time. One question I would like to ask now is this: what is your reasoning behind omitting the plot of C&C4? Have you not had a chance to play it yet? Is it the opposite, in which case the question answers itself? Or, as I suspect, is there some fundamental difference in this new world which denies the existence of C&C4, such as a certain Tiberium bomb being used to defeat the Scrin?
mf chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
excellent, more please
TheFourthman chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
Awesome stuff. Just one major question. Is Kane back? He makes the c&c games for me. Also his actor is immortal for some reason.
Costin chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
For a second there when I read the title I fully expected for this story to feature Nick 'Havoc' Parker. Oh well, guess Wrex will have to do.

One thing I can't wait for is to see Kane and Illusive Man, now that should be interesting.
andy chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
This is impressive.

mass accelerator tech would improve GDI's railguns

and with the all mighty ion cannon GDI would waste anyone in their way.
tkioz chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
Exceptional start, very well written with an intriguing premise, can't wait to see where you go with it.
VFR6 chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
FemShepard I can take it, but after almost a century of using Ion cannon tech and the Invasion of Scrin, GDI still use slug based personnel weapons?

Mind you, that during 1st TW in 95, (canon wise see Renegade game)

GDI has a working prototype PIC(Personal Ion Cannon).

Shouldn't by this fic time, GDI technological advancement already put energy weapon a possibility?

Plus, didn't they captured some scrin tech?

Anyway, good start.

Be marking this as fav.

Also, I'll keep a lookout for an update.
Ferrard Carson chapter 1 . 3/28/2010
Ah... let me say this: HOLY $* &! This is pretty awesome, and given the caliber of your writing for the TW and ME novelizations, I don't doubt this is going to be a thoroughly awesome yarn.

I just hope this doesn't mean you've given up on TW - I still can't wait to see more of that )

Good luck keeping all the various elements you're drawing in straight...
DarthNacho chapter 1 . 3/28/2010
When I saw the notification in my inbox my face exploded in amazement. I never saw something like this coming, ever. I noticed that your Blitz was similar to the Blitz in Graveyard Shift. I've got so many questions. Is Tiberium only restricted to Earth? Is it on lots of planets. Is Kane still alive (I believe the answer is yes because he's been alive for thousands of years). What about the Scrin? Are they still out there? Are they part of the Citadel? This is the craziest idea ever, of all time! I can't wait!
TenWings chapter 1 . 3/28/2010
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