|Reviews for Revelations: A Cynic's View of Pokemon|
| Mr.N0Name chapter 22 . 9/27/2017
*Beginning of the story
"This series is more realistic than the tv show"
Proceeds to insert characters that knocks out an ursaring with one punch and can easily outwrestle a huge Typhlosion.
| twentythirteen chapter 1 . 10/20/2015
First of all, Karuta and Amos are both overpowered and unrealistic charcters, and both of them should have died multiple times already if this story made any sense whatsoever. Nozomi is also a terrible character, and she is weak as hell until she kills the villain, which, by the way, was a boring way for the conflict to be resolved. Sakiyama wasn't a very good character either, and his motivations were weak and he just seemed like a pointless character overall.
The story also didn't feel like a Pokemon fic at times, especially when Amos and Karuta physically fought each other instead of using their pokemon, which would have made a lot more sense. I also thought the concept of the Underground was terrible, as it doesn't make sense that all these criminals and shady characters would agree to only use one pokemon and to not bring guns.
Finally, the ending was both good and bad. While I was surprised by the killing of Dokuga, I thought Karuta's motivations for doing so were not very good. Karuta has been a killer and cold-hearted character for the whole story, and now he suddenly regrets everything evil he has done? Also, there are too many loose ends not tied up. What happens to Nozomi and Karuta's pokemon? Shouldn't his pokemon be looking for him instead of hanging out with Nozomi? Karuta is heavily implied to be Nozomi's childhood friend, so what happens with that? How did Nozomi not recognize him? Why didn't Karuta want Nozomi to recognize him? What happened to Amos?
There were also some pretty glaring grammatical and spelling errors.
Overall, this story wasn't bad but it wasn't good either. Parts of it were boring and clichéd, but there were a few moments which were interesting, most notably the first and last chapters.
| esp.dav chapter 12 . 10/1/2015
I died at "It's best that you don't know hon'."
| vincent1875 chapter 1 . 5/5/2014
How is this realistic? A girl just happening to run into a cold blooded murderer for her first battle isn't realistic at all.
| Manser77 chapter 11 . 4/15/2014
I miss your writing
| Y.Rako chapter 3 . 2/21/2013
Karuta is a Merry Sue psychotic sadistic hypo critic sociopath.
From the behavior of the crowd he seems to be an exception and not the norm in this universe. Is this crack? This is what I felt and tried to take it seriously:
Lets mix two scenes, this is mostly fun for me (I'm not a writer):
Silence filled the street, the crowed was stunned mute. Pokemon death was a subject that was usually shoved to the back general populace's mind. Especially trained pokemon used in battles, unusual as that may seem, by and large were left with none deliberating injuries.
To see a beginner trainer's, admittedly pathetic, starter get gobbled up so callously by the veteran trainer's serpent was so shocking that quite a few jaws dropped at the gruesome sight. At the same time some of the few other veteran trainers that stood among the crowd straightened and started to take note of the situation.
When the black clad trainer smiled and the distraught beginner began running towards him intent on inflicting retribution and many in the crowd silently cheered feeling that the man deserved a good slap\punch to the face, a few cautiously reached for their pokeballs.
When the Arbok sprang forward and the trainer made no motion to stop it, one other had the reflexes and intuition necessary to prevent tragedy.
A moment before the large snake reached its next intended meal the jaw of a much larger creature closed around its neck holding it fast.
"Put it down!", the Nidoqueen, a pokemon with jaw strength capable of delivering more than 2 thousand kilograms of pressure, snapped its mouth shut, severing the Arbok's head.
"Put your damn hands in the air, don't you dare reach for those pokeballs!"
An officer Jenny had a handgun aimed the black clad trainer.
Yeah, sigh and rub the bridge of your nose now, you pompous drama queen.
| MockerDelight chapter 23 . 8/22/2012
I loved it and the darker view of the world of pokemon. I'm also curious as to what happened to the ditrean mixture that Webber put into Nozomi if I didn't somehow miss an important part and if Karuta is going to see Nozomi again.
| Dumb chapter 5 . 11/10/2011
probably wrong but im guessing ash ketchum XD
| plotholedetector chapter 20 . 11/1/2011
On the subject of Amos being left behind-
Karuta had a giant arbok on hand. It could have easily transported all three of them out of reach of the muk.
If dokuga is too big for the tunnel then Amos' typhlosion could have carried him out.
Also, Karuta should not get away with all he has done. The crimes are far too great to ignore them in favor of a happy ending.
Murder. Is. Unforgivable.
| Manser77 chapter 1 . 2/9/2011
I'll give you a cookie if you a sequel or another story like this
| XD chapter 23 . 1/2/2011
I demand a sequel.
| Lobo Argost chapter 15 . 9/13/2010
Could you enable PMs to yourself? I'd very much like to talk about this fic over PM. I find the realist perspective on it utterly facinating. Especially that Ditrean stuff. Can't tell if it's a drug or some perverse form of gene splicing. Probably both. Anyway, please enable PMs. I'd like to hear more about the inner workings of this AU, and especially about Ditrean. First rule of being an author on this site, never make yourself exceedingly difficult to contact.
| Ano-chan chapter 23 . 6/22/2010
Hah, now that...that was an interesting read. I am currently trying to write my on Pokemon fic, it's a little dark, but yours just blew mine out of the water. Just from reading this I have seen so many ways I could change my story in order to improve it.
Now, I usually stay away from long fics like this, but your story just drew me in, it demanded me to finish it. You have a very good way of making your characters realistic. Most stories have the jerk-face turn good at the end and run off with the girl, happily ever after. Unfortunately for me, that's where my story is heading, but this isn't about me, it's about you.
I personally hope that Amos survived, though I know his odds were slim. One big thing I did hope for was that the murderer in the first chapter would end up not being Karuta, though I suppose that was a silly hope. Karuta, now there's a unique character if I ever saw one. The story of his life, how he viewed himself, all the repressed memories, you made a character I would like to punch in the face, yet I also pity, more than anything. Reading as he relived the moment of the car crash was just...powerful, there is no doubt of your writing ability.
Another great part was, amongst all the seriousness and gloom, you managed to fit some humor, showing that Amos was more than just a walking punching machine, and making it all the worse when we realize he was left behind.
I have to say, a huge part of your story was it's realism, the fact that not all people liked the rules of the 'upper world,' the terrible things that the people underground participated in. I can understand it, and see it happening.
One thing I can also see, and hope for, is a sequel to this story. Karuta is alone, wandering, and Nozomi...she won't be able to sit idly by in her home for long, even with her childhood friend there. She's seen things most trainers would never dream off, and she has killed someone, even though she doesn't remember it. I guess I'm saying there's a lot of potential, and...I guess I'm hoping for a slightly happier ending, even though that's not how the world works...
"The world isn't right because you want it to be, or because it should be...the world is cruel, you need to open your eyes and realize it," Just a quote I feel fits...
So there it is, my thoughts on your story, thank you for writing it, it's something that really makes you think. Keep up the good work.
| Chang-Tong chapter 23 . 4/24/2010
I was looking for a long, well-written pokemon story starring an OC that fits under the Tragedy genre when I found this. It may be old, but let's not let an fanfic's age get in the way of a good reading, right? ;D
I have to say... I actually quite like Karuta. Amos was pretty funny, even though what became of him in the end is a mystery: whether he survived or had died. But I'm sure that's a hole that's left for us readers to fill with our own ideas, right? That's alright, leaving a question unsolved makes a story seem more epic, in my opinion, lol. XD
Nozomi... was pretty much just plain annoying to me, with her immaturity and her close-minded view on things, plus refusing to accept that most of the things that have happened were her own fault. That, and I'm sorry, she seems like a freaky stalker at the beginning when she's adamant on following Karuta around. o_o
But overall, this story was worth the tw day read! 8D I really, really like it, and the reality that you would not be able to find in the happy children view of Pokemon world in the anime. Good job!
| Double Feature chapter 3 . 3/3/2010
That poor, poor Marowak D:
I don't like Karuta, but then again his actions just multiply how every other eager trainer sounds like a douche.