|Reviews for Sweet Truth|
| VanillaSlash chapter 1 . 7/7
I love how Ceil got so unsure and worried about Sebastian one day leaving him and only loving him for the result of the contract. Well done!
| lucytheftlover chapter 1 . 11/12/2014
Oh how you make me so proud XD
| SquirrelQueen88 chapter 1 . 11/11/2014
Thank you for writing this! This was very well done and well edited! Please keep writing these great stories!
| aozorpie chapter 1 . 10/3/2014
OMG! *nose gushes blood* whoops sorry *grabs tissues*
Did you seriously translate this from German into English? Because your grammar and spelling is better than that of some people who were born speaking English...
This is an AMAZING fanfic. If you want, you can check out the Sebastian x Ciel lemon that I wrote. It's called "His Butler, Soothing." Please review if you like it!
I will definitely read your other fanfics if they are as good as this one. I also do love lemons... hehehe...
Thanks for posting this amazing story on here!
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/23/2014
Hooray for demon ciel!
| Anon chapter 1 . 6/20/2014
| Isla-Robin-295 chapter 1 . 4/13/2014
;D ;D ;D
| FallenAngel1129 chapter 1 . 2/6/2014
Ok so I know i didn't review the first story...I was just so...omg next next next must read the next part...but I'm sure you understand. Heh...love this series...so good...loved how ceil would be...blushing beauty one minute and then remember himself and tell Sebastian off in have next hehe.
| Dave Elizabeth Strider chapter 1 . 8/21/2013
oh...my...god...I FRICKED LOVED THAT! It had the perfect amount of fluff to the smut! and i can see those two axcutly doin that! You sould make like a mini serices of lovly smut as sebastian worms his way into ceils heart! *fangirl shreik* okay ive added my two cents! hope you keep riding!
hope you have a wickedly wonderful day/night!
| lulu422 chapter 1 . 6/23/2013
| pbs chapter 1 . 5/23/2013
this is AWESOME!
| Reviews to Master chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
Aw. How cute. Sweet endings.
| Your new fan 3 chapter 1 . 12/25/2012
NICE! I just became your fan! Your writing is amazing and it makes me go fangirl... I wish i could give you some helpful critique but i'm as good as you at writing so i don't think i should say anything :) So instead i will just say plz,plz,plz write MORE! 3,3333
| Lyra Harp chapter 1 . 5/28/2012
Eek! Your writing is amazing! Ciel's cute and Sebastian is...one hell of a lover. XD
| Aservis Roturier chapter 1 . 5/24/2012
Hello. You've made me regret being unable to read German first time ever, because if you write this well in a second language, one can only imagine what you're capable of in your own. I've read all but the Naruto story-don't much care for them-and each time, wanted to critique but story swept me away. Nice problem! I do want to give you a hand though, because while getting many much deserved praises I didn't see too many genuinely helpful critiques. You deserve those too,you are *so close* to perfection, it's painful! there are just a few places where-you must know already what an inconsistent language English is!-where the logical construction is incorrect. 'Lowly' is a good 'd think 'whisper lowly' would mean an extra soft one. Alas, in English lowly is only used in reference to one's station in life. A normal home is lowly in comparison to a mansion or castle, for instance. A whisper is, or should be, a low sound already, so you could drop the other word. Another word you are fond of using is 'advert' to mean turn your eyes away or change direction. Only it doesn't mean that. In American english it isn't used at all, the Brits use it as a noun to stand in place of advertisement (Americans contract it even further and make it 'ad'. The word you want is 'avert' same word family as 'aversion'(disliking to the point of being repelled) and 'avoid'. You use this a lot, and might start counting how often, and replace it at least once in a while with a simple 'look away' or something similar, for the sake of variety.
*"He felt safe, protected even, though he would rather die than to admit it." Drop the 'to' in 'to admit it'
*"But to what extend reached the loyalty of a demon?"
Great thought, clunky/wonky construction. Also, you want 'extent' rather than 'extend' A couple suggestions: 'But to what extent can/could a demon's loyalty reach/be expected to reach?' or 'But how far could a demon's loyalty be expected to reach?'
*For the most part when writing the sex scenes you choose elegant language and that's good when writing for an audience expected to include women, who respond to language more subtly than men. 'Hole' is definitely an exception, and to a lesser extent, 'cock'. You can avoid using them almost completely by referencing the entire person instead of the specific body , since one of your participants is a long-lived non-human, you can dredge up an archaic word, an example that quickly comes to mind is 'wick' as a euphemism for penis. It's been around since medieval times, and yet will still be understood in context. Buy yourself a copy of Eric Partridge's slang dictionary or something similar for help with this. Watch how well letting the whole person can stand in though:
"Ciel's eyebrows furrowed as the first precome-slicked finger was pushed into his tight hole."
"Ciel's eyebrows furrowed as the first precome-slicked finger was pushed into him (or into his tight body.)"
"...began to make scissoring movements to stretch his entrance.(not that 'entrance' is such a bad choice, but for the sake of illustration...)"
"...began to make scissoring movements to stretch him."
Usually you want to choose either an elipsis or a dash. The dash is reserved for where words are interrupted, the elipsis where sound trails away, such as when words fail a person, or their confidence dies. There were a few places in these stories where you had both.
These stories were great without these refinements. But say you wanted to get them published, well, such corrections and refinements would certainly help. If I'm able I'll do a few more for you as time allows.-AR