Reviews for Days after Goodbye GK Fanfict
Chibi chapter 1 . 10/25/2016
I felt lost reading this story, as I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. There was just so much conversation that it all rushed into my head in a blur before I could comprehend it. I feel the best advice for you is to outline your story and take the time to develop the plot instead. I felt as though I was being hustled from line to line so slowing your thought process would be really helpful for the readers. We're not able to keep up because we can't grasp how you are jumping from line a to line b and so on. The introduction of what I think is a villain character is a good idea but I'm unable to discern who dislikes who. Also bastard is a word reserved to talk condescendingly about a male so I got confused when the next thing the girl said was Tazusa's name and about taking down Tazusa.
cypher404 chapter 1 . 6/10/2010
Well there was too much conversation and less explanation on this chapter also its kinda obvious that pete did have made changes in her wether its for good or worse