|Reviews for Ancient enlightenment|
| nwspor chapter 1 . 4/2/2010
| Jfitzgerald chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Please update again soon. thanks.
| SilverFoxQueen chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Uh oh, what is going to happen with a smart Harry?
| rio45 chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Good start mate I like this story. You have a couple of grammar errors But they look like slip up's so it's all good looking forward to more.
| LuckyFelix chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
There are some spelling and grammar issues which other reviewers have addressed. Nothing a good beta couldn't sort out though. It's readable, which is more than can be said for a lot of the fics on this site.
I'm looking forward to where you take this from here.
| Seimika chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
interesting.. alil fast paced at the end and alil convient but its good so far,spelling is good,writin could be improved a bit but it shows some talent
| Ace Trainer Jessie chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
interging. i'd like to read more. lol. smart Harry taking on the Dursleys anyway you spin it. always fun.
| VM chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Not a bad story, I'm interested in whether you plan on having him go to the stargate reality later on. I guess that could be a sequel if you ever plan on going that far. Also the FERU idea is one I haven't seen before, so kudos for the originality.
There are a few grammar and spelling mistakes, some are typos some aren't. e.g.: "he had been to come her without alerting anyone." This sentence, even if you hadn't forgotten the word 'able', wouldn't have been grammatically correct. You're switching your point of view by saying he was 'able to come here without..'. What you want to say is something like: "..he had been able to get to Myrtle's bathroom without alerting anyone." Well you get the idea.
Also, (this probably stuck out because it's the last sentence of the chapter) you used 'of' instead 'or'. You also misspelled FERU lol, even though it's your acronym. Unless you meant to say FERN, in which case it's my mistake and you can ignore this last part.
It's the little things that matter, and they can turn a good story into an annoying one to read if they're constantly incorrect so just watch out for that.
Looking forward to the next segment,
| zippythewondermonkey chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
LOOKS LIKE A GREAT BEGGINING CANT WAIT FOR MORE
| Olaf74 chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
*removes his Jaw from the floor*
You are full of surprises! In the positive turn i mean.
Please continue the story very very soon.
| Kelvrin chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
there are some errors and anoyances in this chapter.
1. Use of the "&" character instead of "and" is annoying and harms the flow of the story.
2. Using 3rd instead of Third.
3. In some sentences you use "of" instead of "or".
So far this is looking to be a good story. I await your next chapter, without the &s...lol
| Snowdove30 chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Good beginning. I do hope however, that in the future Harry will also have a friend undergo the same treatment. For all the advanced technology and knowledge, he will still need friends his own age. And at this point, Ron has not turned on him ( although I wouldn't use him) and Hermione is as ever a very loyal friend.
I can't see telling dumbledore; him and his greater good would just confiscate it.
Looking forward to the next update.
| baduqwa chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Interesting story concept. I like it.
A few grammatical issues though. Using '&' instead of 'and' looks a little odd. Also, you switch between "FERU" and "FERN" and dont' define what "FERN" is. It's rather distracting. I think it's a mistake, but I can't tell.
| alen chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
My old suggestion is changing all the & to "and". This will make the story easier to read, and look more polished.
| Neqs chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Great to have a new HP/Stargate writer! Your writing has potential, but the story would be much more readable if you stopped replacing "and" with "&" signs - they look out of place within text and are very distracting. That small thing aside, I'm looking forward to more of your writings. Thank you for sharing!