|Reviews for Ancient enlightenment|
| Seimika chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
interesting.. alil fast paced at the end and alil convient but its good so far,spelling is good,writin could be improved a bit but it shows some talent
| Ace Trainer Jessie chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
interging. i'd like to read more. lol. smart Harry taking on the Dursleys anyway you spin it. always fun.
| VM chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Not a bad story, I'm interested in whether you plan on having him go to the stargate reality later on. I guess that could be a sequel if you ever plan on going that far. Also the FERU idea is one I haven't seen before, so kudos for the originality.
There are a few grammar and spelling mistakes, some are typos some aren't. e.g.: "he had been to come her without alerting anyone." This sentence, even if you hadn't forgotten the word 'able', wouldn't have been grammatically correct. You're switching your point of view by saying he was 'able to come here without..'. What you want to say is something like: "..he had been able to get to Myrtle's bathroom without alerting anyone." Well you get the idea.
Also, (this probably stuck out because it's the last sentence of the chapter) you used 'of' instead 'or'. You also misspelled FERU lol, even though it's your acronym. Unless you meant to say FERN, in which case it's my mistake and you can ignore this last part.
It's the little things that matter, and they can turn a good story into an annoying one to read if they're constantly incorrect so just watch out for that.
Looking forward to the next segment,
| zippythewondermonkey chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
LOOKS LIKE A GREAT BEGGINING CANT WAIT FOR MORE
| Olaf74 chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
*removes his Jaw from the floor*
You are full of surprises! In the positive turn i mean.
Please continue the story very very soon.
| Kelvrin chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
there are some errors and anoyances in this chapter.
1. Use of the "&" character instead of "and" is annoying and harms the flow of the story.
2. Using 3rd instead of Third.
3. In some sentences you use "of" instead of "or".
So far this is looking to be a good story. I await your next chapter, without the &s...lol
| Snowdove30 chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Good beginning. I do hope however, that in the future Harry will also have a friend undergo the same treatment. For all the advanced technology and knowledge, he will still need friends his own age. And at this point, Ron has not turned on him ( although I wouldn't use him) and Hermione is as ever a very loyal friend.
I can't see telling dumbledore; him and his greater good would just confiscate it.
Looking forward to the next update.
| baduqwa chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Interesting story concept. I like it.
A few grammatical issues though. Using '&' instead of 'and' looks a little odd. Also, you switch between "FERU" and "FERN" and dont' define what "FERN" is. It's rather distracting. I think it's a mistake, but I can't tell.
| alen chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
My old suggestion is changing all the & to "and". This will make the story easier to read, and look more polished.
| Neqs chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Great to have a new HP/Stargate writer! Your writing has potential, but the story would be much more readable if you stopped replacing "and" with "&" signs - they look out of place within text and are very distracting. That small thing aside, I'm looking forward to more of your writings. Thank you for sharing!
| Whispering-KAZE chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Interesting start so far, would've prefer a longer chapter.
So, will there be any space battle? Or will you be bringing in aliens from other universe?
Keep it up, wanna read more of it.
| Marius-George chapter 1 . 3/31/2010
Hm, the beginning o the story is not quite original, but you explained that already (chamber of secrets exploration has been done, but not quite for crossovers, I believe).
I'm not quite sure, but I do believe I haven't stumbled upon a story with this ones premise. That being said, it's a bit of a stretch with the parallel universe stuff, but considering Janus's involvement it is plausible.
I do hope you have a plan about the rest of this possible stories plot, and I will await further chapters.
| the13thdragon chapter 1 . 3/31/2010
Looks good so far, writings OK no glaring errors and an original beginning. I'm looking forward to reading more.
| Cocoa Girl2 chapter 1 . 3/31/2010
I do hope that Harry shares this FERU with others. I think Harry should take caution with who he tells and does not remove it from the Chamber. I also think Dumbledore should not be told. Can an adult even use it? Or is it only for children and teen? I hope Harry continues to update his knowledge. I also hope Harry invites Hermione and Luna to use FERU too. The twins too. While under vow no to tell anyone without Harry's permission.
Will Harry focus all the knowledge he learns on only his schooling and fighting Voldemort? Or will Harry one day build a space ship to explore, re-create cures the Ancients knew of. Can Harry build ZPM's?
Will Harry now cut up the basilisk and sell it to make a small fortune? Does Harry have access to enough funds to buy the materials to build a space ship? Wonder if he could have an alliance with the Goblins help him by paying for the materials Harry could move some of them to a non-inhabited planet, away from humans.
There are no Alterian in this galaxy. But had there been in the past? Does this reality have Stargates scattered around the Galaxy? Is there a SGC in this reality?
| Rhianona chapter 1 . 3/31/2010
This is an interesting beginning, though I hope you're not going to the route of having Harry run roughshod over the wizarding world.
One thing that bothered me is that I couldn't tell if the machine was called FERU or FERN as you used both acronyms interchangeably. You might want to take a look at that.