Reviews for The Set Up
SilentStarlightSky chapter 2 . 6/9/2015
I like your story so far. It's cute. The characters discussing 'Beginning Reality' was funny!
Kirinthor chapter 23 . 2/8/2015
Just finished this. A lovely story :D
Josh chapter 2 . 3/30/2013
Omnisage here just too lazy to log in...anyway I liked the way you spelled the characters names backwards. Good creativity since the characters in this story are the ones in the game they talk about. Haha genius Aonir and Llauqa are Squall and Rinoa. Props...
IronicEnding chapter 23 . 1/28/2012
So this has been possibly my first review in several years actually.

However this is for one of my favorite video games and one of my favorite pairings. For whatever reason I felt compelled to return to this site a week ago and see what new things were being put together, and on instinct i started with my favorite squinoa community.

The sad part about this story is that it appears to be dated back in 2010. I do hope there are more recent works.

I submit this review as someone who has attempted ff8 stories in the past, and has seen just how hard it is to get the characters right, partially since most havent played the game in ages.

Lets start with what I hope is constructive criticism.

1) Having characters be vulnerable vs. weak. This is an issue almost everyone has (myself included). Often to make characters seem more...real the tool used is to show a side of vulnerability. The down side is that it is often done in a way that makes the leads appear weak willed or of small character, by letting petty events have big effects on them. This was most apparent during the initial chapters where things were more..high schooly. Like i said though, everyone has this problem across all pairings. Its an easy thing to understand, and a hard thing to master. To see how badly i botch this up, just read anything i wrote. ick.

2) Redemption character (Quistis). Another hugely popular plot device is the character whom goes from being...'evil' or the 'third wheel' to the person who matures and becomes good. This is excellent if done well, but hard to stick with if botched. I would say you did a fair job here. The problem i did have was Quistis was so damn unlikeable for so many chapters, that it was almost enough to get me to stop reading. My suggestion is to show more of a character's motives. Why is she so attached to Squall? A memory from childhood? A tender moment? A rare act of kindness? As a reader I was more or less left to assume it was because she found him attractive and...well thats it. If she was going to be a pain...I want justification, more dimensions if i am to care about her redemption later on.

I wont list OOCness here because we need to do that a little (especially with Squall), otherwise all these stories would be no fun to write.

And now for the good. You are definitely one of the far stronger writers in this section and likely on the site in general. You take care with your work and give ample chapters with each update. Your ability to decide how much detail is enough detail is remarkable. I found myself glued to your chapters reading them off my phone at work at times. Shame on me, but the real problem was that you write in a catchy style.

Some of the things I particularly liked was you avoided the whole Seifer/Rinoa pairing. Its annoying. Its barely a blip in the game and yet it gets so much focus here. Love triangles is a great way to say 'yeah...i dont give a damn about real plot.' you avoided it with this story an i applaud you for it.

My favorite part for sure was how you had Squall and Rinoa slowly yet appropriately grow their attachment for one another. True there was a bit of a jump at the end, but to be honest i didnt mind. I would have liked less build up to their official relationship and more time on the tender moments, but thats just personnel preference. (not a review of you, but my preference is to have romance be a big part of the story, but not the whole story). Supporting cast was brought in with just enough detail, yet I never lost sight of who really were the stars.

I tip my hat to you. Honestly if i hadnt read your stories, I probably would have dumped this site again. Now instead I have ideas on my old stories and for new ones as well. Ive no idea if i will follow through with it, but you have talent enough to get the creative juices flowing in your readers.

I hope regardless of the path, writing is something you pursue either professionally or as a hobby. Talent shouldnt go to waste.

Finally i will say i did rad through BTA. Solid work there as well.

Well hopefully you found some benefit and enjoyment out of this review. If anything was direct, my objective was not to offend, but to offer some tips and share my enjoyment.

Thank you and keep writing please.

JayLiyah chapter 23 . 10/30/2011
Awwww, the ending was adorable hahaha. I liked that you related their conversation back to the beginning of the story too... you really like your game references, they were all over this story. :)

Well, what to say now that it's over... this has been an interesting journey for those two and I enjoyed ALL the ups and downs, misunderstandings, the emotional hang-ups and even the politic-related scandals. Honestly, I don't think anyone reading it at the start could have expected it to go this way. In answer to your reply earlier, I didn't think it was plotless at all! I realize you were working on the development of building Squall and Rinoa, to get to where they are now. You've made poor Rinoa go through a lot of trials and tribulations, and she came out stronger for it; and for Squall overcoming his personal fears, that was handled realistically. Seriously, my heart ached for both of them during their angsty moments, it takes a good writer to pull that off.

The growth of Squall was my personal favorite development. It was really sweet that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Rin at such a young age. Idealistic maybe, but still romantic. The spontaneous marriage... interesting how in two days I've read two stories where this happened. ;) Just a weird coincidence I thought I'd point out, hehe.

Yeah, there were some grammatical errors throughout, but not blatant enough that it would stop me from enjoying a great story such as you've written here. For your first fic, I'd say you did wonderfully.

That's nice that your sister gets to live happily ever after with her soulmate, I guess we can all hope that one day it happens for us too. ;)

Great job Niq, can't wait to read the other stories from you!
JayLiyah chapter 10 . 10/30/2011
Oh my Lord, the ANGST! I just started reading this story a couple of hours ago and I was getting so caught up with the events and the developments that I couldn't stop to review.

But now... oh gosh that was heartbreaking... I swear, tears filled my eyes when Rinoa confessed what she really felt, and Squall just had to break her heart... it's SO SAD... I just had to take a step back and come up to breathe after this chapter.

I'm really loving where it's going, from the beginning I felt their emotions and I've been holding my breath waiting for some kind of happiness for them... I think you did a great job with showing us how they feel and letting us empathize.

Also, the events that folded with Quistis' jealousy that spiralled out of control (gah, I was so annoyed with her)was planned out nicely. I'm glad to see she's remorseful now though.

Poor Rinoa and poor Squall... damn it! Why can't these two be together?
Lenaigh chapter 20 . 9/28/2011
Love all your stories! It's so hard to find authors that keep the characters so close tho well... themselves lol. I don't know the answer to the first question but the second one is Squall's student id number I think. Anyways please keep writing! I feel I may die awaiting another update!
Lenaigh chapter 20 . 9/27/2011
Love all your stories! It's so hard to find authors that keep the characters so close tho well... themselves lol. I don't know the answer to the first question but the second one is Squall's student id number I think. Anyways please keep writing! I feel I may die awaiting another update!
The-French-Soldier chapter 10 . 3/18/2011
Your making me cry! STUPID SQUALL! WHYDID YOU LIE!
The-French-Soldier chapter 9 . 3/18/2011
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY! NOW THAT NEEDS TO BE EMBARRASSING. Sorry if I spell things wrong I'm just surprised.
The-French-Soldier chapter 8 . 3/18/2011
The-French-Soldier chapter 3 . 3/18/2011
*laughing hard* *calming down* *laughing again* :) (:
The-French-Soldier chapter 2 . 3/18/2011
I'm sure she is my twin. She plays video games like me!
The-French-Soldier chapter 1 . 3/14/2011
I am about to read this story. You are a ... GENIUS! You rock.

Are you a girl? Sorry but just curious. Because girls are awesome. Bye. Hugs and Kisses Yuffentinelovelast4ever~
otepfan chapter 4 . 3/13/2011
Squall has always been my favourite game character and now that you gave him a black audi, that just makes him that much cooler.
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