Reviews for The Moment It Ended
excessivelyperky chapter 3 . 1/29/2011
Good chapter. Evan clearly knows his own mind, and I like the idea that he's enamored of Hermione. But I think she feels the same way about him, so one lost weekend won't matter as much.

And...I suspect Snape will either be relieved or upset that Evan probably won't care that much about a life that never was, at least as far as he's concerned.

I wonder what Dumbledore would be like without Tom being around? After all, without a war he has no excuse for doing what he really wants to 'for the Greater Good'. Plus, Evan is a Ravenclaw, and doesn't even have the excuse of 'well, he's a slimy Slytherin' to lean on Evan the way he did on Snape.
excessivelyperky chapter 2 . 12/29/2010
Good chapter. I think when Evan hears the whole story, he'll a) think Dad has been brewing without proper venting again, and b) calmly point out that _he_ lives in the _real_ world, and that he's pretty happy that way.

I am glad that Lily lightened up a little bit; you'd think that she would be used to Severus having bad moods from time to time (just like Snape probably has his wife's monthly cycle on a chart somewhere).
White Gray chapter 7 . 12/11/2010
Well, what is left to say that hasn't been said before?

You're an amazing writer, really talented, you have strong imagination, excellent style, you can make your characters so alive, the scenes so natural... I could go on, but this review would be far too long to read.

I shall most definitely check your other stories when I have time. As I've mentioned before, I've already read The Moment it Began. I wish you all the best with your writing career, though I am sure you don't need my wishes as you have more than enough talent.

WG
White Gray chapter 6 . 12/11/2010
Evan's internal struggle is incredibly well constructed - you've pointed out the main problems; good - bad and trust.

The last scene where Severus hugs them made tears well out of my eyes!
White Gray chapter 5 . 12/11/2010
Oh dear, the secret is out.

I love how you make everything sound so natural, I always have a perfect picture in my mind of what's happening.
White Gray chapter 4 . 12/11/2010
Quoting Severus: "Potter plays the guitar?"

Oh my, you've seen "A Very Potter Musical" and "A Very Potter Sequel", haven't you? Well, if you haven't you ought to check it out!

I love the Snapes, they make such a convincing, healthy family.
White Gray chapter 3 . 12/11/2010
Wonderful! I adore Evan's shyness around Hermione, and I love how he interacts with this father.
White Gray chapter 2 . 12/11/2010
Oh wow, I fell in love with Evan! It's amazing how you can breathe so much life into your characters.

The Severus-making-dinner scene reminded me so much of my own cooking! I also experiment, and I tell you, it doesn't always end well! I never cook by the recipe, even when I'm making something completely new. I wonder, would that mean I'd be good at potions or just the opposite? ;)

I love the interaction between Lily and Severus, you can really tell they are best friends. They remind me of myself and my boyfriend - we're best friends, too, and he's the best of the best, always willing to help me, to please me, to make me happy. He's far from perfect, I now that, yet he's just perfect for me.

I probably like this story so much also because I can relate to it in many ways!

WG
White Gray chapter 1 . 12/11/2010
Hi,

I've been a silent reader of your epic work (The Moment it Began), but now I think it's the moment to end it. So here it is, my first review of your work! What can I say - firstly, a great chapter, excellent style, amazing characterization (this goes for all your work, I don't want to repeat myself again and anew...) Obviously you've done extensive research and study of the HP collection, of the characters and the magical world.

I like how you manage to incorporate things from the original story in an innovative and convincing way - like Hermione, Harry and Lockhart.

I wonder how Severus is going to deal with his past - his previous life, and I'd love to see him interact with his son - hopefully in the next chapters.

Best wishes,

WG
SSS - Severus Snape Supporter chapter 7 . 12/10/2010
i liked this sequel!
Kittenmommy chapter 7 . 12/8/2010
I'm glad you finished this. A great ending to a great story!
Katamabob chapter 7 . 11/27/2010
Sweet ending to what was a great story, the original and the sequel. Though there were occasional mistakes - and alternate character interpretations - I think you wrote a believable and beautiful alternate reality. It was very sad at times, but ultimately full of kindness and redemption. I did feel, though, that Arthur Weasley seemed to have been killed almost as an after though... which upset me, as I love Arthur, and it felt like he was just killed as an example of how people died... He didn't even get a death scene or anything...

I also think that, at least in the beginning, a somewhat harsh interpretation of Dumbledore prevailed (though not as unreasonable as others I've seen), though I can see where the conclusions came from. I was glad that things were more peaceful between Severus and Dumbledore later. I thought you wrote the characters well, especially Snape, Lily and Petunia, actually. I was saddened by Peter's death (though glad of his change of character) and horrified by Eileen's suicide. Tobias... I have mixed feelings about him. I'm not entirely convinced that he could change quite so much out of guilt and sobriety. But I like the man he became, regardless. And he got a great Crowning Moment of Awesome XD I quite liked the irony of that death for Voldemort.

I find Evan's friendship with Harry quite funny, and I love a happy ending. But yet... though most changes made were for the better, I can't help feeling sorry for what might have been. Harry Potter, the one with Lily Evans' eyes and heart no longer exists, and he was a good person, a hero. Neville Longbottom may be completely different. Ginny Weasley is almost definitely not the same person, as she was born an entire year earlier. It's just so... sad, in a way.

Very good story, well worth reading the 120 chapters XD Thanks for a great 'what if' extravaganza!

Kate
Minerva Lily Gardner chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
Awesome story!
vaporeon13204 chapter 7 . 9/4/2010
Aw, cute story. XD I'm glad that things are out in the open with them now. _ Glad you wrote this. )
MYsweetAngel chapter 7 . 8/4/2010
:D great sequel ! love it!
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