Reviews for Before and After
Seeking Professional Help chapter 4 . 9/9/2014
I liked the Gendo and Rei scene, probably would've been more dramatic if Ritsuko didn't show up at the last minute. Would've been interesting to see how a writer of your talent, tackle such a scene. I've seen other writers versions, they almost always do it with a 'Rapey' vibe, which to me seems kind of cliche. I think the only reason Anno left out a scene like that, is because he's a Gendo fanboy and such a scene is even more damning then Shinji's Eoe masturbation scene.

This is an excellent story and you're an excellent writer, definitely one of the best.
March Unto Torment chapter 10 . 10/17/2013

I really, really wish I understood what happened here.

On one hand, this fic was beautiful, inspiring. It's everything a fic from Rei's perspective should be and more.

And yet... not. I really, genuinely did want to see Shinji and Rei get together in the end, and they... well, I don't THINK they did. I'm not sure. The end of this fic was confusing to say the least.

Personally, I find myself of the opinion that someday, Rei III gave life to Rei II and allowed her to be with Shinji in the new world.

Does it make sense? Not really. Is it simply self-justification? Probably, although such introspection... well, humans are ever doomed to be unable to see themselves from the outside, let's say, and leave it at that.

But thank you for writing this. Genuinely, thank you.

- March Unto Torment
Gemini011 chapter 1 . 6/20/2013
I remember reading this before, and finding it an intriguing exploration of Rei's character and internal thought processes. I suspect that I didn't review before because I finished reading it on my phone rather than on a proper computer; it's a lot harder to write a proper review on the mobile site.

At any rate, I've enjoyed reading this first chapter again and will probably go ahead and finish the rest. Hopefully this time I'll remember to leave a review at the end.
Topomouse chapter 10 . 4/12/2012
Very interesting story. I have always liked Rei as a character and it's very good to see how others have interpratated her feelings.
Donderkind chapter 10 . 1/8/2012

That was an extraordinary piece of writing. It's probably the best writing of Rei that I've read on this site. Believable and with her growth happening at just the right pace.

This is now one of my favourite stories ever. I wish that I had the words to describe the whole thing. I think that the previous reviewer got it about spot on!

Brilliant stuff! Thanks for writing!
BukkakeNoJutsu chapter 1 . 9/14/2011
This was fucking amazing.
Higashiyama Sayuri's Devout chapter 10 . 7/17/2011
I must admit, i enjoy this journey into the mind of one of the most iconic character of anime, her thoughts and motives are so inscrutable that i must praise your imagination for given Rei this entirely new perspective in the eyes of us common mortals.

I expected the ending to deviate a little from canon after the kiss, but in the end it all work out beautifully .

Loved the show, you rule.
Judicar Deimos chapter 10 . 7/16/2011
There is something ambiguous about the last chapter. Some parts resonate with me, others do not.

On the one hand, Rei's reasoning for taking control of Third Impact and transferring the authority of what do with it to Shinji is somehow simple, one might even call it primitive. Although compassion as a motive might be overdone, it the concept behind it that eludes me. For this to work Rei would have to bond with Shinji by equating her experiences with pain, loneliness and the absence of purpose to Shinji's. However, Rei and Shinji are different in that regard because Shinji (and mankind by proxy) seeks to attain a state of being he calls pleasure whereas Rei does not. The fact that this is not acknowledged, both by Rei and Shinji is not exactly what I would expect to form the basis of compassion.

On the other hand, I must confess that I admire Rei for abandoning the prospect of happiness entirely to make the same principle that she has long forsaken to be supposedly working for others. Seeing as most humans strive for happiness but cannot obtain it, to let it go completely for oneself but to enable it for the sake of other people out of no other reason than compassion towards a hopeful species whose dreams you literally cannot share is of unrivaled nobility.

Just to make myself clear, I wish I could completely identify with Rei although I wish it not to be so at the very same time because it would mean acknowledging the futility to pursue one's own happiness.

The ending you use fits the characters you have portrayed so far - I cannot fault you for that. It could have been bittersweet because Rei sacrifices herself to an astounding degree but for me the bitterness is greatly enhanced by the issue that noone seems to pay respect for what Rei is doing out of her own free will and conscious choice providing mankind with the chance to begin anew without being obligated to do so.
Da-Guru chapter 10 . 7/15/2011
I don't think I've been this misty eyed since Oedipus Ikari or the ending of Serial Experiments Lain.

Overall, it's a very good ending to a great fic. As much as I want a happy ending for Rei, it just wouldn't be as poignant as this. Then again, this may even count as a happy ending for her, as sad a thought as that may be.

I only have one issue with the story as a whole: the framing device. First person perspective is difficult to pull off, especially with an enigmatic and opaque character like Rei. You've done admirably well here. However, the framing device of the journal did leave a bit of a disconnect between the reader and the action. I honestly don't know how I would do it. Rei herself is far too laconic of an individual to go into gory details in her journals. And the disconnect may even be from her own mind and perspective on the world. It's a toughy.

Anywho, I'm going to go read a bunch of happy things before I break down into tears again.
o chapter 10 . 7/13/2011
Dude... that was... it was... oh god.

That is a fantastic piece of fanfiction you have here, I humbly applaud you and your whritings skills for coming up with it.
Judicar Deimos chapter 8 . 7/4/2011
This and the last chapter are beginning to remind me of a certain theory regarding the dichotomy of soul and body in conjunction with the ability of man to commit suicide. That theory states, apart from the difference in properties between the two parts I mentioned, that suicidals are normally wishing to separate soul and body to bring whatever suffering they endure or perceive to endure to an end. The obvious solution is to destroy all bodily functions, leaving the soul "intact" but eliminating one half of one's self.

For Rei that is not an option, although her body is one she is unaccustomed to and that feels, both to her and the reader, rather like a transport vessel than an extension of one's own person. Add the fact that she is merely seen as an instrument or vague pseudo-memory to some to kill herself would perhaps be a release. But her soul, if I may reference the theory from above, would still be there and that part ina its ominousness frightens her enough not to seek that release.

My approach may be far-fetched, but what currently is described in this story manages to be a fascinating dilemma that Rei faces. I am very interested now in seeing what she will do and even more so how she will rationalize it.
VERY VERY BAD WRITER chapter 8 . 7/2/2011
I just finished reading all 8 existing chapters in one sitting, and I have to say, you did a really great job with this! Rei doesn't seem to be out of character at all! As I think you said at the end of one of the chapters, I agree that she must have been hard to work with, considering how quiet she is most of the time. It's really interesting, seeing all of her thoughts that are going through her head while she's not talking.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter! Keep up the great work!
Higashiyama Sayuri's Devout chapter 8 . 7/1/2011
And here i thought everything was lost the moment the second bite the dust, but it seams there is hope for the third.

Like that bit of angel history.
Some Random Weird Guy chapter 8 . 6/30/2011
Great as always! I too am deeply intrigued by the First Ancestral Race, and it's cool too see a fanfiction actually mention them for a change.

And now we descend into madness!
mangafreak7793 chapter 8 . 6/29/2011
So the final act will be near, what events will unfold?

I will be looking forward to the next update.
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