|Reviews for The Advent's Revenge|
| Tyler Willis chapter 1 . 5/6/2010
I really like this story. Although, you sould go into more detail about the battles. For instence, you should exsplane how the Ithica reacts to the assalt from the Advent. Rather then just saying "... and they found ways to keep the shield online." You should exsplan how they manage to do that.
Also, when the fleets are engaged, you should exsplan more about hoe the TEC pushes the Advent's fleet back.
Other then that, It was really good. However, I do have one complant: Wouldn't an Adventian Capital ship use its abilitys to infilict more damage?
Can't wait to read more!
| Silverguard20022 chapter 4 . 4/27/2010
Lots of improvement since the last chapter, more details and description. It's good to know that my advice was put to good use. It's also good that you have lengthened the chapter compared to the previous ones (They could still use a bit of improvement in my honest opinion, but you're getting better at it). Keep up the good work, and I look forward to seeing more from this in the future.
| Silverguard20022 chapter 2 . 4/8/2010
I'm interested in how this will turn out... good work! Better than anything I could have come up with considering that I hadn't written in years, and I deleted my old stories (Need to start fresh).
As far as I can tell, the only real problems I have with this are:
1. Chapter length. Try to make the chapters a bit more detailed. Describe the enviornments they are in, the battles they fight, the severeity of the Briefings/Debriefings and meetings. Give us more insight as to what Cpt. King is thinking and feeling. It is all about grabbing the readers interest and keeping it. You are doing well, but this isn't packing quite enough power as is could be.
2: Too much dialouge. (See above)
I hope that help and that I didn't discourage you from continuing on with the story. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, and I hope you put it up soon.