Reviews for Adventure In Kanto
Farla chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
There are about three thousand stories just on this site in this category with "pokemon" in their title. There are about two hundred and fifty "chronicles", more if you include misspellings, and god knows how many "Character Name"'s whatever. There are almost four hundred with "legend". There are six hundred and fifty with "journey", six hundred with "story", two hundred with "quest", and almost seven hundred with "adventure". "Kanto" shows up over a hundred times, as does "Johto", "Hoenn", and "Sinnoh". "Saga" similarly comes in at a hundred.

What I'm getting at here is that you want to choose an original title that has to do with your story in particular, not something that indicates it's yet another story about a pokemon trainer.

Centered text is incredibly annoying to read. Never do this.

The whole "lulz he is in a moving van and getting knocked about lulz" was not funny the first time. It was definitely not funny the hundredth time. What gave you the impression the thousandth time would be any better?

You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer.

Conversely, if you're using it in the place of his name, it's capitalized as Professor.

At least teddiursa is somewhat unusual, even if nothing about how your character getting his starter made sense.
Dan237 chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
Yes, I just started and I really need to learn how to use fanfiction first. This was a really sad attempt at an introduction. I posted it hoping that someone like you would offer me some advice. I guess I got it. I plan on correcting my mistakes and working harder on my story so that others may enjoy it.
Tobias.TH chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
Don't centre your work. Align it to the left.


Contractions/compound words are a form of informal writing. Please do not use them within formal writing and outside of informal writing or thoughts/dialogue.

Learn how to write dialogue properly. It's "Hello," he said. Never "Hello." He said. In the case of exclamations and questions, it's "Who are you?" she asked. Never "Who are you?" She asked.

This is not good writing and it does not flow very well.
Hotrod198 chapter 1 . 4/2/2010
This was a pretty good start however i suggest making the chapters a little bit longer.