Reviews for How to Kill Harry Potter
kabs9000 chapter 1 . 8/27/2016
OlogyFF101 chapter 1 . 8/4/2016
The fact that it's so lame, stupid and doesn't take itself seriously is why this story is great.
IllogicalMind chapter 1 . 7/16/2015
haha... wait. doesnt harry talk to a snake at some zoo?
Guest chapter 1 . 6/1/2015
This. Is. Fucking AWESOME. You have earned my permanent respect, my friend.
Will.Hell.Minna.-Sophia Isobel chapter 1 . 4/11/2011
hahaha... funny! Voldemort dancing the Macarena? it like seeing him glide into Hogwarts wearing a pink tutu, declaring his love for Dumbledore... hahaha... great one-shot!
Ethorin chapter 1 . 1/31/2011
Di chapter 1 . 11/30/2010
Hey! I gave you the castration idea! I *was* sitting next to you as you wrote this on my computer. :P
uzo's biggest fan chapter 1 . 11/25/2010
wow! love that! lol XD you so totally just gave me an idea for a harry potter story!
rosie isis and rai the kitsune chapter 1 . 11/8/2010
*cracks up laughing at where he ended up* oh the irony!
lilbka chapter 1 . 9/28/2010
haha that was suprisingly funny for a short piece nicely ironic at the end as well.
Abby Ebon chapter 1 . 5/14/2010
1) Oh Voldie, that isn't original at all, and do remember love, you've tried, tried, tried it before - if didn't work the first three times, it will never work. It's better not to - in this case - think that old muggle sang 'when you first don't succeed try, try again' a notion of truth.

2) Darling, he isn't a vampire.

3) While taking his man-hood is a interesting notion, there are far more pleasurable ways- for you, I assure you.

4) It makes you wonder just what else Crouch 'taught' him, doesn't it darling?

5) Far too Mystery Novel plot, besides - you must do better, darling, really!

6) Painful as well, potential darling, and I do love my hero's bloody.

7) Yes, and well, you'd have to have him killed him out of mercy, and it isn't evil at all Voldie.

8) Yes, and that worked - a little - you got your body didn't you? Oh don't pout so about him getting away, you should have thought to make the Port-Key one-way.

9) Truly darling, you would dance for him - and not with me?

10) I'm beginning to get a headache, and no darling, you aren't allowed to do any such thing - far too foolish. And risky. Come back later, when you're feeling better.


(Oh, darling, your so adorable in that little glass cage!) Snake!Voldemort stirs hopefully, hissing

(Why of course I'll help you, this cage is truly unfortunate, I shall keep you in my locked-in garden room, won't that be fun?) A frantic hiss

(Your Death Eaters? Well, they are mine now, of course)

A rather whimpering hiss

(Harry? Well now, you know how the Ministry is, run by pure bloods as it is, I'll only have to apply for a adoption, and he'll be in my hands...)

P.S. - Bellatrix, with a mix of my own reactions I do believe - I hope this amuses you.
Crysania Fay chapter 1 . 4/4/2010
Haru Inuzuka chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
-spits out drink and has a laughing fit- Dear lord, the stupidy! FUN-NEY! XD
Kircala chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
It's so crappy, it deserves to burn in a fire, but it's so stupidly funny and true that it deserves to be immortalized on as it is now so that everyone can feel just a little bit better about their own stories. :D Well, thanks for posting it anyways, I like reading old stuff, makes me feel like my stories still have promise.

wekfnwekonf chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
this was good - made me laugh

'9: Dance the Macarena in front of him' haha :)

it's not stupid so you shouldn't put it down - who cares if it was written ages ago, it's still good :)

(wow 2003 was ages ago :O )
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