|Reviews for What do you mean, Dragon Rider?|
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/30/2015
Ahh I love the ideas behind these, but the wrighting is very poor. Conversations don't flow at all naturally. And there are several other problems.
After the revelation that Eragon is a rider it seems unlikely the first question would be about the name of his sword. Try to the address larger issues first in your wrighting and give each of the characters a chance to react. In short, to improve your wrighting add more description, flesh out the emotions of your characters and always proof read and edit mistakes. Also not sure if it's you or an error that occurs when you upload but everything is divided into two lines followed by a break, sometimes mid scentance, making it less than fun to read.
Hope this isn't to harsh, you have some good ideas, you just need to work on delivery ;)
Everyone can improve over time :)
| adorestories chapter 6 . 7/20/2013
Last chapter is a bit unrealistic... 1: why doesn't arya just heal him? 2: arya would win a duel between the two (or at least put up a long fight)
| Guest chapter 6 . 9/29/2012
i ...love you!
| Hidden Brisingr chapter 1 . 8/3/2011
Chapter 1 Carnavall does not know that you can share memoies
| A Changing Persona chapter 6 . 6/27/2011
Hmmm...these little one-shots show promise.
| EmmaLynn Kay chapter 5 . 10/3/2010
I like. This one is my fav.
| StardustRose11 chapter 1 . 8/9/2010
please update soon? i love this story!
| SaguaroCactus chapter 1 . 8/6/2010
Well, it was good. I just had one problem. Your spacing is messed up. Have you seen where the new parts start?
| P chapter 6 . 7/7/2010
I love your stories,I always thought the way Eragon And Roran met again was going!
| bltbackwards chapter 5 . 6/29/2010
Yay! You used it! I can beta this story too, if you want, i can't PM cause i'm used mobile version...
Let's see... Ok, i don't know how i get these ideas but, Eragon, Saphira, and Arya (if you want) are scouting(?) or going on a mission somewhere (this is an idea off the top of my head) and have a quick run in with Murty and Torn. They have a battle and _ wins. Eragon gets a fair amount of injuries and they have to stop at the nearest town (Carvahall) for supplies, you get where I'm going...
Use it if you want
| Majide Bunny chapter 5 . 6/22/2010
That was Pretty Good. But you do have some grammatical errors like "I then heard Arya saw" and "I saw morn".I love how cocky Eragon was!
| Dawn that Shines chapter 4 . 6/9/2010
Ohhhh good job!
| bltbackwards chapter 4 . 6/7/2010
I'm writing this from a Nintendo DSi (don't ask why) right now and it doesn't always display my username so it's Pie in the Face. :) I wanted to see what you did with the original and it's nice. I liked it, thanks for changing Arya's cover name, I hated it too, but when I was writing it, I didn't want a simple name to slow me down... So nice chapter and I'm looking for Chapter 3(?) of The Third Sapphire!
Oh, this just came to mind a minute ago so it's not that amazing: what if someone (maybe Roran) in Carvahall got deathly sick- Gertrude couldn't heal, The villagers have heard of a rider by rummor of the traders... They send a letter Varden and Eragon answers, he goes (with Arya if you want) and cures sick person of chose- Eragon explaines himself, etc. You get the picture
'till next time!
| TheLastHuman chapter 2 . 4/11/2010
Interesting plot, but the story is hard to read, because in the middle of a sentence it goes to another line, and it's
really annoying so if you think of a way to fix this it would be
| terrifiedmafu chapter 3 . 4/8/2010
Good story! Keep it up!