|Reviews for Bemusement|
| ansari chapter 1 . 4/29/2013
I'm not going to ranmble about stylistic convention, and Lord knows I can ramble about that for hours; I'm just gonna say that your use of italics (that's one 'l', Sweet But Psycho) gives Dusknoir's thoughts a very unique and clear tone to them which greatly assists in showing inflection in a media that inherently has none. I can easily imagine the tone of voice he uses in these thoughts, it gives him a sense of having actual personality, and hell, it even gives him an *accent* in my head, all of which adds to the depth of this.
More bluntly, it works. Moving on.
Your narration of his thoughts gives an interesting parallel to the game scenes, considering that the only view we ever get of Dusknoir is through his expository monologues (sigh), and I think I was having thoughts like these the last time I went through the game, come to think of it. Nothing came of it, but just things like "What does Dusknoir think about all this?" sparked by the mention of Dusksnoir 'hiding a smile' when he was told that the amnesiac human-turned-into-a-Pokémon had the same name (and was presumably the same being) as the one he'd known before.
All in all, an interesting character study. Thanks for writing it; I enjoyed reading it.
| Katunei999 chapter 1 . 1/3/2012
I never even considered all the possibilities Dusknoir could have in mind for our Hero! You did really well, great job!
Also, while others are saying you use a tad too much italic, I like that kind of thing. It makes the emphasis seem real, and that the character is thinking carefully about things and their possibilities instead of just randomly thinking about it.
So, overall, great job!
P.S. I like how he thought about her Partner as problem and how the thought of killing him brushed past his mind.
| MammonDaughter chapter 1 . 2/10/2011
Wow. That is simple evil right there for you. Thank you Team Hanabi, this story is just, wow.
| Angel Peach Blossom chapter 1 . 9/30/2010
I've read this once before, and decided to look over it again.
This is a very good oneshot! I could easily picture Dusknoir this way, as he does seem to be the scheming type. The words you used for description worked well, too!
I do agree that there is a lot of italics. But I must also add that there is a lot of bold words too. Emphasis is not a bad thing, but a lot of the time it isn't all that needed. Maybe every once and a while, but it isn't necessary to do it too much.
Also, I recommend sticking to italics if there are any words to put emphasis on. Bold makes it seem like I'm being shouted at.
One earlier description confused me as well. When you said 'mousy companion' I thought you meant a Pikachu. Then later, I read something about a Bulbasuar being her partner, and I never really considered them to be 'mousy.'
I am confused on one little detail. Does Dusknoir know that the Dimensional Scream doesn't work the same way in the future? I'm just curious since Grovyle indicates it doesn't work the same way.
Now, aside from those confusions, this was well done! Very well written!
| Just another freak-a-geek chapter 1 . 5/19/2010
Awesome. I could totally see Dusknoir thinking up something this diabolical. I really did enjoy the story. :) Actually, this kind of makes me want to see an AU story where Dusknoir actually does take on the hero character as his apprentice.
| adventurerXD chapter 1 . 4/23/2010
Excelent story! you described it so well, it actually got me worked up. so typical of dusknoir...
| Sweet but Psycho chapter 1 . 4/16/2010
Ok, first of all, I've read one of your other stories (redress) and Tere's one thing that really sticks out at me. You use itallics way too much. It starts to get really annoying after about a quarter of the story, especially when there's no dialogue. I know you probably want to put stress on those words, but within the first paragraph we know what the perspectice on Dusknoir is, and we know where the stress is. Putting itallics creates extra stress, and draws your attention away from the story itself.
Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed the content itself in the stroy, its just that one thing. You have really good ideas and articulation of those ideas. Just ease up on the itallics. And, you misspelled just a couple words.
Also, for Redress, I'm a Chatot fan, I think the pompousness is just adorable, because he's a really sweet guy. So Redress made me sad:(