|Reviews for Memories of Ice|
| Unknown chapter 9 . 6/24/2012
I love this story it's very detailed and realistic, it shows how society would work in the C&C i just wish more would read it and i'm sure they would like it even people who don't play the games.
pleas keep going!
| Unknown chapter 7 . 4/23/2012
Please keep writing this story is one of the best i have ever read you make it so life like and realalistic i am sure that if anyone who played the games read this they would love it and maybe some who didn't
please update soon!
| ownerer117 chapter 7 . 12/27/2011
Great story , love your style , effectively painting a very grim and depressing image of the yellow zones .The Juxtaposition of the blue zones and the yellow zones are done very well , both making me sick, its sad how their is no in between, please hurry on next chapter!
| Unknown chapter 7 . 10/19/2011
please keep writing and quickly I love this story
| Hawki chapter 3 . 4/21/2011
-"The walled Paradise 2"
By virtue of being the chapter's title, I'd say that "walled" should be capitalized there.
-It wasn't inherantly an issue in the previous chapter, but the double spacing here makes it much more readable.
-"From space, earth looks not unlike the tomographic photo of a terminal stage cancer patient"
Good word imagery, but again, "earth" should be capitalized.
-"What an ironic twist this is, considering that it was tiberium based nanosurgery that finally made human cancer a curable disease."
Um...tiberium-based nanosurgery? As in, tiberium being involved in surgery? Tiberium has been injected in Nod circles, whether it be tattoos or Divination, but it sounds like the cure is worse than the disease in this case.
-Overall, this chapter is better than the previous one in that it's more descriptive and is better suited to the tone being provided.
| Hawki chapter 2 . 4/20/2011
-People, please! Please .keep it down, I shouted...
Punctuation marks, where art thou?
-"Dough Boy, as I call him, are to take care of during this field trip."
Switch to present tense there, while everything else is in past tense.
-"Such was the sorry state earth found itself in,"
"Earth" should be capitalized there, along with every other case where the planet itself is being described.
-The micronutrients idea is okay, but effectively goes against canon-it's been shown in material such as 'Tiberium Wars' and the motion comic that it's still possible to grow crops in yellow zones, it's just a bitch to do so. And while GDI had instituted rationing by 2047, ammenities such as coffee and tea could still be provided.
-As a whole, the concept isn't bad, but it feels very much like a case of telling rather than showing. This is okay in some formats, such as diaries or journals, but it comes across as conventional narrative.
| Numbuh six-sixtysix chapter 5 . 9/12/2010
This is a very interesting fic, and it definitely has potential. However, I'm not too sure if a series of one-shots are quite the best medium for describing life in and around the tiberium age. Perhaps two or three main character perspectives linked together by an over-arching plot line would be more effective?
I say this mainly be cause I want to see where that guy's brother turns up, but also because it genuinely would improve your fic.
| feastguy101 chapter 1 . 6/27/2010
You're more than welcome. I've stopped writing for a while due to the fact i just don't have the time for now. Keep it up!