Reviews for Awake
Sepsis chapter 1 . 10/26/2011
Very sweet! :) I like to imagine them like that before Mary got ill. they were wonderful together here!
Hushabye chapter 1 . 9/1/2011
Beautiful. I'm speechless.
XxMadeXInXHeavenxX chapter 1 . 8/4/2010
I'm suprised you only have four reviewers. This is by far the best JamesXMary I've read in awhile. It has so many refrences and alot of subtle foreshadowing. Also loved the idea of James and Mary's personalities prior to SH2.
xSummonerYunax chapter 1 . 4/15/2010
You write James/Mary very well. Though I am more of a Maria fan, I am in love with your portrayal of Mary. It rings very true to how the game makes her out to be. The descriptions in this story are absolutely breathtaking and vivid, and I'm so impressed with how you can say so much and breathe life into these scenes without being overly wordy. It's almost magical. :) Thank you for bringing back my memories of one of the best games ever created.
NamelessForNow chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
Oh yes, my dream has come true :)

This fic was exactly some I was looking for :D

Great story!It includes tenderness,and sexuality, and romance,and eros... Well, my biggest THANK YOU!

*favourites*
The Illegible chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
AWESOME descriptions and characterization all through this-you did a truly fantastic job. :-)

Critiques:

-"Anything shy of mindless key pounded sounder golden to his ear." I think grammatically it's supposed to be pounding there.

-"Glassine", describing the lake...I don't think that's a real word, sadly. I wish it was. It sounds much cooler than "glassy". :-(

-Baby crit, if I'm /supremely/ nitpicky-the timing for Mary's coughing fit seemed a little convenient in terms of plot timing. Like...it's not so much that she starts coughing after saying she's not going anywhere, but that it's immediately afterward. If they had the opportunity to change subjects a bit before it got introduced, the notion is still clear in the minds of the characters and the reader but it's...more natural, I think.

Highlights:

-The imperfect piano playing, the fact that Mary is referenced as a conservative young woman in writing, James' melancholy while memorizing her, the moment of horror...hell, this was just a beautiful piece for all its details.

-Pyramid Head reference was great.

-You write sensuality really, really well. And this is an odd thing to notice, but it's true. Even with supremely talented writers, there's this fine line when it comes to erotic stuff where it turns up either too bland (even skipped) or presented in such a way that it feels like watching your best friends having sex. Kind of uncomfortable. You managed to find the perfect middle ground where it's beautifully written, powerful, and...I guess enthralling, though it almost feels like a silly word to use. Probably because I don't use it much, and because my inner child is going "oh, so is sex ENTHRALLING then?" :-P Anyway. Lovely piece.
Zombiegirl2007 chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
aww sweet veary cute