I think you did really well with the flow of this. Everything went so nicely, and it was really natural. The dialogue also reminded me of the banter between the original five, though I'm pretty sure that was what you were going for. I also got a major (in an good way!) deja vu moment when it said "AELITA CODE LYOKO". I definitely flashed back a lot too with this chapter, because it just reminded me of how they first discovered Lyoko (the original five). Good memories of watching the show though, so it was nice seeing them discover Lyoko.

I love how Rumiko reacts in the beginning of the chapter! the rest is good.

Not that big but good!

great parts are funny (for me they are!) and it's good!

good chapter! can't wait to read the other chapters.

Chapter 8: ...You just made my day. Seriously. First of all, I love historical fiction, I like history, and I love learning about what people did in the early 1900s and earlier time periods (I'm just a dork like that). Second of all, this is Ulrich's ancestor, grandfather, great grandfather! And well, I love this thing about Ulrich's history. Ulrich is one of my favourite characters in CL, so it's cool seeing what his relatives could've been like. Also, this makes me interested to see what will happen with Anthony Schaeffer, and what his role will be.

Chapter 9: As far as I can tell, Mr. Xavier is a bad guy. Which makes me want to scream at Calvin to get the hell away from him. Because Calvin can't die. Or get hurt. That would ruin his chances of him ever being with Sammy (which because of Sammy's prank, I have set my heart on). And woah, so Aelita has an uncle? This is interesting. Hopefully you tell us more about Anthony Schaeffer soon, or even better, we get to read the autobiography along with Calvin! And oh...ugh, Dennis. Just ugh. I used to like Dennis and Rumiko, but now, I don't really believe that Dennis is sweet or kind inside (after making out with Antea while he had a girlfriend of course). And to concentrate on a more important issue, I really wonder where Dennis is going. Is he under XANA's control or just evil willingly? Or is he on the good side, but they don't know it?

Chapter 10: Holy crap. So much information. And it was nicely paced too. It wasn't like overloading information or anything; it told me a lot of stuff, yet it was done in a good way (I honestly don't even know if I'm still making sense right now, urgh). But yeah. I'm so happy that they finally know about Lyoko! And that Dennis isn't evil! (or maybe he'll follow in his father's footsteps?). For now though, everything is going awesomely, since they all know, and they can start up their super team of five and kick ass. And oh, zomg, such an epic line: "Today, the second generation of Lyoko Warriors is born." Dennis proclaims "Follow me."

Chapter 5: I liked the fun-ness of this chapter. Obviously, from the last few lines of this chapter, I can tell that things are going to go downhill from here (well, downhill as in the atmosphere, but uphill, as in, I'm all for adventure and action! {: ). Anyway, yeah. I liked this chapter because it was so lighthearted. It was nice to see the focus on things like Sammy tricking Calvin (which is really hilarious, and I kind of wish I was as devious as her) and the whole Dennis being a bastard who plays girls. But heh, I do wonder what's in the binder. The only thing that wasn't so lighthearted was the teacher bit; he was definitely more than a bit out of the ordinary. (case in point, the atmosphere of this chapter was nice, since we're probably going to go down a darker road from now on)

Chapter 6: Ooh, this wasn't a chapter big on relationships, people, etc, but it's nice how we got the information so quickly. I'm actually one of those impatient people who can't stand it when authors leave you in perpetual mystery, so it was nice (for once) to get some answers. I was also really happy seeing all of their names; it's cool seeing a peak of the past. And hmm, I also wonder about the other stuff. It's been a long time since I've watched CL, and besides that, they didn't go that in-depth in the show. It's going to be cool seeing all of the Lyoko history being played out and discovered by the kids in this story.

Chapter 7: Sheesh, XANA's scary. I still liked the freakiness of it all though. Maybe this makes me sound like a bad person, but I laughed a little when the XANA-body said, "I'm going to do what you threatened to do to me: finish you and throw you into The Seine." I do wonder what XANA's up to though. It must be something nasty, and I also wonder if the parents will end up hearing about this (like if the kids wrote home or something like that?). This chapter gives me smiles too, in a weird way. It's nice seeing the gang back together again, even if the gang is technically made up of mini-mes of the original group.

Chapter Two: I don't have that much to say here, since it's just a character synopsis/description list/whathaveyou, but I really adore Odd x Sissi. Kudos to you for putting them together! Also, it was nice of you to include some character relationships there (such as how William's son likes Rumiko and so on)

Chapter Three: It's a nice start, and the sibling argument is funny and it flows nicely. The only thing I'd do is, do an enter space between dialogue of different characters. I'd say to indent as well, except FF completely screws up spacing so I notice most authors don't do that (and neither do I).

Also, here: '"Will you stop it!' she yelled 'It's bad enough mom and Ulrich...'"

Did you mean to put Ulrich there? Because as far as I can tell, that's Rumiko talking, and she's Ulrich's daughter. Unless the kids have a strained relationship with their father that I'll soon find out about. :D

Chapter Four: I love this! I'm so glad that Odd's kid and Ulrich's kid are sharing dorms. I was wondering why they didn't know each other better, but then you told us that Odd died. That's really saddenning to find out about, since he was one of my favourite characters, but it makes sense as to why they don't know each other yet recognise their last names (point of what I just said: good job on filling up plotholes).

And again like last chapter, you should use the enter key every time someone says something and then a different/new character responds. It's easier on the eyes (oh god, I sound old), and it's also a grammar/spelling/whathaveyou rule. Other than that, you're doing great on avoiding plotholes and grammar! (which I may sound like a bit of a hypocrite, since my grammar/spelling isn't flawless in itself...)

All in all, and this applies for what I've read so far, I'm interested in what's going on in your story so far. :D I really wonder what's going on with that mysterious man in the first chapter...

You've set a good premise for the rest of the story. What's difficult to do is knowing how much information to give out (do I tell my readers this? do I not? how does this affect their view of the rest of the story if they know this?), and I think you've done a great job.

I also love your quirky little, "Somewhere In France" (be warned, I comment on the randomest of things, and ninety-nine percent of the time, my comments aren't very helpful)

Anyway, as I said, you've set up a good foundation for the rest of the story. The way you worded this chapter gives it an air of mystery, and it seems like the start of a very interesting (if not fun, because adventures are usually fun) adventure! And also, nice to see that XANA is alive and kicking. It is something I've never thought about, but I mean, XANA could fake "dying" (or whatever dying is in computer terms) and the warriors would probably never know the better. I mean, the information network is massive, and Jeremie might be too elated about XANA being gone to check. There are so many possibilities. So yeah, I'm interested to see where you're going to take this!

Nice first chapter/prologue. 8D

Cool they found the factory! good chapter.

Atlas from XL here.

Man, I literally loled at the "WHERE'S THE PROGRAM STERN!" part.

I then started making "Tell me where the program is Stern!" jokes after that.

The chapter is good. And the relationship between Rumiko and Dennis. And they know now a little more about Anthony Schaeffer.

I love how you look back in time. It's really interesting stuff.

good chapter. nothing else to say about.

Also good chapter. I think it's the first time the kids hear about lyoko? right? And I never knew William wrote a book!