Reviews for Borrowed Heaven Revised
DragonTamer01 chapter 1 . 4/29
Nice job. But I'm not sure this revision was really necessary. I liked the original exactly as it was.
Kai chapter 1 . 4/24
- I just LOVE Ronald!bashing. Sadly it's just in the beginning, but it's good! :-) Added after reading the A/N: I firmly belong to the Ronald haters camp.

- I'm not sure what kind of society you live in but in the civilised world there's no thing like "the dreaded father-boyfriend talk". I'm middle aged now and I've NEVER EVER heard about such shite in my area. Neither when I had girlfriends, nor from friends having girlfriends or female friends having overprotective fathers, nor from relatives, nor from people in my sports clubs, nor from people at work, neither from young people about their elders, nor from old people about their children. This "talk"-shit is a declaration that females are too dumb to reach a reasonble decision themselves. Okay, sexism gets my hackles up like nothing else, and I might overreact, but in modern societies there's something like equal rights for both sexes.

- The best answer to the "intentions"-question would be something like "I want to fuck her good until she screams my name. After she gave me a world class blowjob. Perhaps I'll even keep her for a while.", alternatively "How the fucking hell is that YOUR business? I talked with the important person about my wishes and dreams for the future, just in case you don't understand who that is, I'm talking about HERMIONE."

- "...after we graduate, [...] I believe I will have a question to ask you sir." Takes the same line, but is proof that Harry is a sexist arsehole, too. After graduation Hermione is almost NINETEEN. Of age for almost TWO YEARS . She IS allowed by then to decide for herself if she wants to marry or not. If Harry REALLY asks Mr. Granger Hermione should kick him in the nuts and tell him to piss off, sexist bastard that he is.

- Where do they get swimsuits from? There are no swimming classes, there's no swimming pool, the lake is full of creepy creatures and they don't know about the prefects' bath when they return to Hogwarts that year. Swimsuits are about the most useless article of clothing that they could've carried across the country. If Harry even HAS a swimsuit.

- "That's okay Ron I have to pick up a Valentine's gift for someone." That has the subtlety of a sledge hammer. :-D Okay, Ronald needs things spelled out, what does he know about making gifts? At least he got it...

- I think it's HIGHLY improbable that a bank would make such a connection between drawing money from one vault and deposit of money into another when they have THOUSANDS of transactions every day, AND allow those data sent to the PRESS, especially the worst lying writer of a tabloid, instead of the DMLE.

- Why don't they send a polyjuiced auror to the graveyard? Okay, they want Riddle to call his minions to identify and capture/kill them, therefore it MUST be Harry. But they do have Malfoy, with veritaserum he can give the names anyway and the Death Eaters can apprehended individually with superior numbers instead of having them all together to fight to the death. And Harry can be the one who just pushes Riddle through the Veil of Death.

- Why are Harry and Hermione taking cold showers? Turned on as they are it takes only a few minutes at the most to finish if they masturbate, and it's MUCH more pleasurable and it's lasting to boot. AND they can even do it together (or even mutually) without crossing the last line.

- "The immortal Lord Voldemort will..." He just saw all his horcruxes lying on the ground, destroyed. How can he STILL spout immortality-nonsense?

- "I think Hermions needs to breathe" Bah, breathing is completely overrated... ;-) And, if Hermione doesn't know yet that you can breathe through the nose while kissing, her mother is old enough to have learned that.
Vegasman59 chapter 1 . 4/23
Fanfreakingtastic tale,
Darklight-phoenix chapter 1 . 9/19/2012
Wow! Lovely story!
morcheller chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
Nice write! Thanks.
Stardancer0829 chapter 1 . 4/19/2012
Excellent story. Thanks so much.
harryhermionealways chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
Awesome story! Im not a huge Ron fan but this story proved that he could be a great guy and since he wasn't with Hermione he was even better. Harry and Hermione always!
Cassandra30 chapter 1 . 11/5/2011
Excellent story! I really like it!
Red Phoenix Dragon chapter 1 . 10/13/2010
Ron could have saved everyone a whole lot of pain and suffering by growing up which he never did in canon. Your story flowed smoothly and shows why it took seven years for Harry to destroy Voldemort with Ron as a jealous git.

Thanks for sharing your story.
Jarjaxle chapter 1 . 9/24/2010
Really Interesting Story. Keep up writing good stories
rldragon chapter 1 . 9/21/2010
Retarder. Couldn't even get past Ron's "capital crimes". Just simply retarded.
WildForWeasley chapter 1 . 6/18/2010
That was the most ahmazingg story I have ever read! Thumbs up! Keep writing!
Dark paladin2k9 chapter 1 . 6/11/2010
a great story mate a very happy ending compared to the canons crappy one
Black Volcarona chapter 1 . 6/6/2010
GREAT
Rori Potter chapter 1 . 6/2/2010
That was amazing!
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