|Reviews for Half False Prophet|
| Demonic Weasel chapter 1 . 6/15/2010
At long last I have come to air a few thoughts on this piece. It's as well-written and tightly-crafted as I've come to expect from you, and there are lots of small moving parts to it that generate interest in themselves.
As is often the case, I'm particularly impressed by your secondary characters. Ramladu is very strongly depicted, not at all foolish, merely less than wise. You give Darksol a splendid force of character as well and all within two very brief appearances. Of all the people to tackle Darksol, this is a definitive version I think. Lady Clarice is a bit bland (in the sense that her role in the story isn't especially interesting) but the actual work you did on her character is still strong. And of course Mishaela is one of my favorite appearances here; I dare say she's a bit slower on the uptake than I'd have thought her to be, but then the Greater Devils are probably keeping a low profile, and so she has little reason to suspect their perfidy.
Of course, the heart of the tale is Kane, and to a secondary degree, Max. Kane... intrigues me. There are moments, not many, but a few, where I get flashbacks to Nick reading him. Mostly when he's talking about emotions, or lack thereof, to Max, though also when he declares to Cameela how much he values his life. On the other hand, while Kane is not precisely unintelligent, he certainly doesn't seem to pay much attention. He's a forceful man, one of actions once he puts his mind to something, and so he acts quickly enough, but it takes him quite a while to decide that Darksol could be just as criminal as he is nefarious. And I certainly never enivsioned Kane as a fop (which is not quite the right word, of course, but it comes close enough), but you make it quite convincing. A shrewd enough, if not particularly quick, man whose natural tendency towards action serves him well once the stakes get high enough. That all feeds well into what we see of him in SF1, and his obdurate, if rather rash, resistance towards Darksol.
Everything turns around the fortune-telling of course, and Cameela's the part I have the most problems with. Not so much the deus ex machina (there are a few other ways that Kane could have gotten the information he needed, but those methods carry problems that are at least as large) as it is the characterization. She seems a bit too smug, and rather more cautious than I'd expect. Admittedly, that could all be because the Greater Devils all feel circumscribed so long as Darksol is in the picture, but still... Also, when she seems to suggest that the whole charade waz Zeon's idea, I really had problems getting behind that. Zeon was already put where he was because of a 'brave' man, so I don't think he would feel particularly sanguine about attempting to use another one of them. Even if it's just against Darksol, he has first-hand experience with how these things get out of hand.
On the whole though, this is strongly written, superbly crafted bit of work.
| Maximus Aureillus chapter 1 . 5/31/2010
Hey bro, remember me? It's been quiet a while. Another fantastic piece of work, truly magnificent prequel. The plot is pretty well constructed and the character portrayal is excellent. But it feels a little cliche, with Kane knowing what's going to happen to him and he is going to have a son because he has to...A completely different scenario comes to my mind when it comes to Ian's conception.
| Snipes chapter 1 . 5/2/2010
You've certainly crafted an interesting portrayal of Kane, and I must say I enjoyed the exploration of Runefaust's political dealings immensly. My only real critism is the scene with Mishaela and Kane in the tent, well the "imposter" which turns out to be Cameela, rather. Personally I just felt like by bringing her and Oddeye into the mix, though creative, youre almost reaching for something that just doesn't fit. This is of course, simply my own opinion, for the conversation between the imposter and Kane itself was quite intrigueing, as is most of your dialogue. I just felt that the imposter was a tad too dius ex machina, and that it feels a bit stale in comparison to the rest of the piece. Overall, as expected, excellent writing. Your prose always draws me in very easily, and it's enjoyable that your sentences aren't overly wordy and longwinded. You utilize a broad vocabulary, but you seem quite skilled at balancing your descriptions with your story telling, so the piece flows quite nicely.
| The Pairing Guy chapter 1 . 5/1/2010
I haven't been reviewing your fics for reasons we discussed before, but shoot, someone's got to review this story. Don't know why no one has, cause it really is pretty excellent.
I'm no Shining Force buff, and haven't played Final Conflict at all, so I can't say how well this fits with the official history... but as a story, I definitely like it. Kane's well done as a character and you do a great job of showing his changes. All the SF I villains come off really strong.
Too bad it didn't work out with Kane and Clarice, I kept hoping he would apologize to her later. In-game character/original character pairings are risky, but I think you could pull it off.
Anyway, great story, love how you can feel Max and Kane's personal convictions and their love for each other, and there's some witty dialogue too. It has to seriously disappoint you that I'm your only reviewer.