|Reviews for Fatherly Advice|
| Ifit'sNotBaroque chapter 1 . 3/29/2013
I really liked this, sweet, thoughtful, unique, and the ending was great!
| LittleMissWolfie chapter 1 . 8/25/2012
Niiiice! Maybe you could write the 2028 one!
| Just Another Fangirl 6 chapter 1 . 3/30/2012
| MaxandFang101 chapter 1 . 11/4/2011
Ahahaha! I remember that episode and scene exactly! 'What's this about hotties?' xD That was great that you three that in there! Perfect. :D
| Data Seeker chapter 1 . 10/7/2010
Nice little short. The quality is good in many areas.
The part with Kim taking it easy and Ron shows up is pretty good. If I had any criticism, its that your fic feels incomplete.
The wholesome standards are high.
The language is clean.
Nothing is suggestively offensive.
No extreme violence or any other vile content.
I'm sorry if my review isn't very flattering, but when a fic is short, its hard to give lots of compliments. God bless.
| Invader Johnny chapter 1 . 6/19/2010
Well Kim's dad is paranoid all right and I THINK Ron is not too far behind on the paraoia.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.
| Mengsk chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
Pretty much sums up my review of the last three lines.
The rest seemed standard Ron freak out, heart to heart tale with extra cuddly sweetness from Kim.
The man attracts a lot of those.
| Reading Nut Cassirole chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
great story i really loved it
keep up the good work :)
| Katsumara chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
Oh my. Really mad at myself that I didn't spot this work sooner! You just have the banter between Kim and Ron down pat. My favorite line out of many *great* lines was probably "Baby says 'Hi'". I mean.. imagining Kim say that to Ron just seems so sweet.
Again.. outstanding job, and I really hope we get to see more of your K/R fluff. I feel like you just may be one of the new up-and-comers as far as that category goes. Good luck!
| RonHeartbreaker chapter 1 . 4/16/2010
Terrific. Sweet, funny, true-to-life, well-grounded in the show. Some nice lines ("what's mine is yours, dear") and great business with Sacky. It's a real pleasure to come across a writer with such a natural touch, an ear for dialogue, and comic timing/sensibility. And you were able to lay out a touching storyline but close it out with a comic ending, a la the show. I can't wait to read more by you.
| MrDrP chapter 1 . 4/12/2010
Nice banter and in-character dialog earn you eye eye thumbs up for this one-shot.
Thanks for the fun read!
| Kwebs chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
Another great one, I can see Ron freaking like that. Nice talk between Ron and James. Loved the ending.
| Slipgate chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
A good second posting, certainly.
Trying to do a previous activity but being unable (like losing focus on a book you were reading but still staring at it a while) is just the sort of thing I would do.
I must admit it wasn't until my second read-through that I realized that the "familiar sounds" of Ron's entry were there. What I mean is, I thought Kim was saying that she normally hears a typical set of sounds, but that she was straining to hear them this time and wasn't hearing anything. I wondered on my first reading if Ron had literally appeared without even the typical sound of the stairs. But ah, on my second reading I understood the passage correctly.
The image of *Ron* with his shoulders slumped and hair disheveled is pretty powerful. Ron's usually not "down" like that, even when upset, and disheveled hair is never a good sign. (I am reminded of Kim's rushed wakeup and dash in the Snow Day episode and of the time in Queen Bebe when she came from the park cleanup with frazzled hair). As for collapsing on the bed like that - was there a camera in my room on Thursday and Friday night past? Uncanny.
Oh my, the baby's kicking. "Baby says hi" was great.
You might've made the situation even more drastic by having it be 3:10 AM (and gotten a KP reference in, to boot) but if Kim wasn't able to sleep because Ron wasn't able to sleep, she would've said something long before 3:10. (3:10 only really works if Ron was sleeping for a time and then woke up.)
It's funny to see that they have grown used to living with each other in the non-honeymoonish ways. Things like snoring, or seeing the spouse cutting their toenails, or so on. That's an older Kim than the one who was hottie-obsessed, that's for sure.
I like the word choice of saying he swallowed thickly. And I like that the characters are, well, in-character, while at the same time recognizing that there's more to them than the stereotypical behavior. He's not just being silly and she's not just being serious. The sleeping joke and how he doesn't respond as hoped is an example.
Anyway, the core question of the fic is Ron's fear that he's not cut out for fatherhood.
I like that Ron actually has aftershocks of the Sacky experience... he can't help but think of it when seeing a bag of flour, and right now he's suddenly thinking of his last attempt at "fatherhood." I didn't think of it on my first reading, but Kim might've also been able to point out "raising" Rufus - but even that was sort of a friend/brother relationship more than a parent/child relationship, and pet ownership in the real world is of course not enough to prepare one for fatherhood.
I'm sure Bonnie would (rightly) tell me to "zero my ego" but I can't help but think you repeated the comment about "contentment" since I so explicitly called out how I loved your usage of the word last time. At first I was concerned he didn't enjoy those kisses any more, but you managed to let the reader and Kim know they were still appreciated and effective when he admitted that her wiles were at least "sort of" working (had he not been angsting so much right then, he'd be into it). Anyway, I couldn't help but smile at how you kind of threw a worm out to see if the bait would take. And now I realize I just did. Curses! You used your writing wiles on me!
When Kim said "What's yours is mine, dear" - although that's the way the line actually goes, in the context of their talk it might've made more sense for her to reverse the order, e.g. "What's mine is yours" but Ron got the idea, of course.
Since I like calling out the words or expressions that really hit home for me, I'll give a big nod to loving the image I get from Ron's "watery smile."
It's good Ron's wife is effective enough at calming him that he's willing to get some sleep now.
The "you know you can be [the serious one]" and "feel free to be the goofy one" conversation that ends that section of the fic out is extremely important couples growth.
I find it impressive that Ron loves cooking so much that instead of being hassled to come up with stuff for his wife, he's loving the opportunity to pamper his KP. I also have to laugh at the pancakes because - well, I pretty much can't cook anything that's not frying an egg, boiling water, or making a TV dinner, but I'm working to fix that and the first thing I did was work on making pancakes. (yes, yes, I know how old I am. I'm just pathetic in the kitchen. :) ) I do interesting things with them now, though.
I can't imagine how powerful Kim's puppy dog pout would be when she's pregnant.
"Now Ron recognized that feeling. It was exactly the same feeling he'd had last night when Kim had tried to use her wiles on him. Okay, not exactly the same feeling—that would be wrongsick!—but the same general feeling at least. Suspicion."
I burst out laughing out loud when you said "the exact same feeling as last night with Kim" and was glad to see that you had recognized how funny that sounded in the immediate follow-up statement.
I like how James is with Ron. Nice and even adult-to-adult keel. Ron's feeling so uncertain and has seen Mr. Dr. P as a grownup for so long that it didn't even occur to him that Mr. Dr. P probably felt unprepared too. The reality check about how MIST didn't have diaper or feeding classes helped the two men really connect.
Go City U, eh? That sounds like a good in-universe place for Kim and Ron to be able to still go to college together without remaining frozen in place in Middleton for their scholastic experiences.
"Or even when you thought she did" - very true. Although it was a ferciously wrong move, his concerns in Ill-Suited were borne out of wanting to step up. And then there are the less morally questionable ways in which he tried to improve himself.
A 2028 talk? I wonder what year you're imagining this as? I figure he's imagining his granddaughter to start talking of hotties at 16, so maybe it's... 2012? I guess the Mayans were wrong. I can tell that this fic is sort of "in the same universe" as your first fic, and I could tell that they would've had to have finished college already given Hana's age. But I can see from other reviewers that people are trying to figure out exactly when you imagine high school ended, when college ended, when the wedding is, etc. If you continue to implicitly write stuff in the same "ficverse" you might want to hammer out the timeline for us. Hammer it out in-story, not in an author's note. Like say they were the Middleton High Class of whatever and the rest will follow.
Last comment: At least one reviewer has mentioned that Ron doesn't seem to have matured. I would say that it's not that he hasn't matured (I think the serious/not serious conversation is example of that), it's that you wanted to make sure he was still Ron. You've just written this as a second shot. Ron can't have changed that much because you haven't had the opportunity to gradually change him. If you made him very different he wouldn't be in-character. Someone who'd already written tons of in-between like Commander Argus was able to present a very different Ron because he had all the little steps in-between to be able to keep the "in-character" hall pass. And the "fatherhood fear" is familiar, wholesome ground for family entertainment.
| Mr. Wizard chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
Absolutely precious ending.
Fabulous dialog and interaction between the characters. And the bit with Sackie was great.
| Reader101w chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
Nice story, funny and serious at the same time.
Great work on Ron's character, especially the sacky part, great job.
Keep up the good writing,