|Reviews for Lolita|
| Guest chapter 2 . 10/3/2011
Plz finish it!
| nicole napier chapter 2 . 8/11/2011
omg please please update! I want more! :D
| MiserysNightmare chapter 2 . 8/31/2010
very good lol its interesting. what happened to alice to cause her to cry? i got lost on that part sorry.
| AbandonedAccount321 chapter 2 . 6/11/2010
| Ngoc Chau chapter 2 . 6/4/2010
What was the taboo subject in the first part that Mally and Hatter had breached?
What happened to Alice? Why is she crying?
What is the flower talking about? Why is she calling little Alice a tramp?
What's going on now?
I just squeed when I saw that you updated this. It is good, but very enigmatic. It was very dark compared to the first chapter. The part about the kettle and the March hare just scared me.
I am anxious to what will be next.
I hope you update soon.
I hope that my previous suggestions had been helpful to you and this fanfic.
I hope that you will update soon.
I hope that you will answer my questions.
Did you use any of my suggestions for this chap, because it sort of seems like it yet at the same time, I'm not so sure.
| Shylittlebunny09 chapter 1 . 6/4/2010
Nice. This is very interesting! I never read a YoungAliceXHatter story. I like it. :)
| twilight4evr84 chapter 2 . 6/4/2010
ITS OKAY! As long as update i dont care! i love this story im a little confused but the story is amazing!
| GCTIGERFAN1 chapter 2 . 6/4/2010
I think this is an awesome story nd can't wait for the next update:) good job!
| twilight4evr84 chapter 1 . 4/10/2010
out of all the alice and wonderland fan fics this is by far my fav! I LOVE IT! Please continue i luv how u make the hatter and the memories he has
| Ngoc Chau chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
You said that you were interested in reading young Alice and Hatter fanfiction, I don't know where any are right now, so I guess you a pioneer in this subject for the alice in wonderland 2010 fanfiction. However, I am going to be starting a fanfiction about Alice soon when she was younger and it'll be my take on Alice, Through the Looking Glass of how she takes the chance to try and be a queen. It'll be young Alice and I already have this picture brewing in my head for the ending, there'll be a twist to whether or not she becomes a queen but for sure they'll be a scene of young Alice and Hatter dancing and she's trying to act precocious as you so demonstrated in here as well. I'm going to put it up on deviantart too so you might be able to see pictures of it.
Wow. First of all, I was shocked and ecstatic to see that someone actually wrote a young Alice and Hatter romantic fanfic. They are very rare of course because most writers would want to have Alice all grown up and falling in love with Hatter, being married and mature. Though I find that in Alice in Wonderland, it is the only exception to where time doesn't matter and love is love. Your fanfic, so far, really proves so. I loved the beach scene because I could just imagine Alice sitting on a moss covered log in her signature blue dress with her bare toes digging through the sand while Hatter leans leisurely against somewhere comfortable, a cross between lying down and sitting, and watches her. At the flashback when she kisses him, you can really see the unbridled and rude of health girl that she is in the book. You are really true to her character. The actions of the Hatter are very platonic, bordering strongly on attraction and love that are a building reaction and not too quick that they can be lusty. If all the flashbacks are just as fluffy and precious with every bit of muchness as you so demonstrated, then doing a very slow and budding romance is perfect for this because he is so friendly and caring for her and she is so young to realize how strong words can be such as when you're a child. I love the effect that you did with the flashbacks being put into present tense and the present being put into past tense because it's really significant to the effect that time is picky and strange in wonderland as well as romance is often best played out when it's in the present. I can go on and on about compliments to your work. But I suppose that a few suggestions are alos in order since I learnt in school that when you review someone's work, you tell what you like about it, your opinion on it, and suggestions about it that could be used to improve it. You capture all of the important parts of your own story and it really is getting sttraight to the point without having the readers think too much, but usually for a romance, you might want to be more literary and descriptive with adjectives and poetic license. An example would be something like - "Simple," she chirps, and her rough pouty lips graze against his forehead with deliberate slowness. He finds himself mildly shocked at this, and then surprise melts into happiness. She never ceases to surprise him.
The child bends her knees until she is level with him, her eyes boring into him as though chasing every wild thought in his head and enjoying the hunt of the strange. Unlike any other way she could answer, she answers with the only thing still that he can imagine no one else but her saying with unbridled boldness and fearlessly, "It's much easier to kiss you this way." - that's just an example. You don't have to take me seriously on being more literary in your work, it will just extrapolate your thoughts and ideas and have your reader believe they're reading more when simply they're relishing feeling more in depth to the story. Anywho, your work is still detailed enough to create imagery for someone to picture while they read your work. Other than that, the only thing I can suggest for you is that you write more with each update because the first chapter alone is already so good and I really do hope that you write more and soon.
I'm sorry for writing so much for a review, but I really like this fanfic and I really want you to feel encouraged to continue into this some more. I would like to read more about your thoughts on this new sort of pairing and how you will be creative with it. I think your fanfic is the first like this with a young Alice and hatter so it will be new and unexpected I suppose.
As long as you regularly update and write this marvelous fanfic, I will be your most ardent and your most loyal reviewer to this story giving you nothing but compliments and suggestions(though I doubt that you will need any of my suggestions).
Please update soon!
| iAir Nomad chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
Aw, this was a delightful story to read! So much innocence to it, and everyone was so IC! :D
You should actually try continuing it whenever you have the chance! :D 3 Lovely, lovely story!