|Reviews for My Little Baby's Secret|
| Killua Lawliet chapter 1 . 3/23
Dude there wasn't even a single injury in this fic and you are questioning weither or not this is a 'tragedy'
| mo chapter 1 . 5/14/2015
| nekogirl017 chapter 1 . 10/15/2013
...boo. And tragitys are story's with sad endings! Not happy! This is a drama if anything. But it was okay, I guess. You could use a beta though...keep writing!
| An onyomus chapter 1 . 9/22/2010
Bad grammar. Awesome portrayal of Maddie's thoughts and acceptance. :)
| Spectral Ninja chapter 1 . 9/22/2010
I think this is the first story I read from you. I dunno, this story is very familiar. I like it :3
| anonymous chapter 1 . 8/16/2010
Actually, when Danny Fentom changes into Danny Phantom his skin tans.
| Kigyptnee chapter 1 . 4/29/2010
I liked it when Maddie said, "Come here, you ghost boy." Somehow, it just struck me as a cute moment. Nice story. _
| Terri chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
Not a bad try. I agree with the others that your grammar could use some work, but I can tell from your AN and your profile that you are already quite aware of it and I probably don't need to go into it farther than that.
I also noticed you changed tenses constantly. For example:
"I hurrying pick up my weapon, pointing at Phantom and that Skulker ghost.
"Die, GHOST!" I yelled. "
The first sentence is in present tense ("this is happening now"), while the second is in past tense ("this happened before now"). It would be really great to see you choose which tense you want to use (looks like present is used more than past overall) then go back and edit this story to make it all a single tense.
Overall it's definitely not a bad story at all. I would suggest getting someone to be an editor or beta reader who can help you work through the grammar issues. You'll find more people will be willing to read your stories if you do. :)
Good luck! This was nice!
| ghostgal4 chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
| JuneLuxray chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
| Maddie looked at dannyFemail chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
Family? whhat the hell were you thinking?
| itsbeenasecret chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
I really enjoyed this! :). Danny was so cute with all his stuttering!
| Jessica01 chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
It's a good start, but work on your grammar. It sounds a little rushed. Don't worry, it'll get easier as time goes by.
| angel-feather-keeper chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
tradgedy is death of a main character. that was quite the opisite. a very well written fic, if i do say so myself!
| Pixie Dust of DOOM chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
You're grammar became worse closer to the end; the words were becoming choppy. Be sure to read over your story a few times, check to make sure it sounds alright, then post it. As well, try to avoid being repetitive. You're off to a good start.