|Reviews for Fireflies in the Dark|
| Trevor X chapter 1 . 4/13/2010
Well, I'm writing in a hurry, since I'm stealing time in the middle of the day to review (hence why not signing in either...)
Needless to say, beautifully written. Or maybe it does need to be said. So there. I said it.
Catching fireflies takes me back to my very, very young child years. But I wasn't ever allowed to keep them in the jar for very long. Mom always made me let them go pretty soon after I'd caught them. Bit disappointing that.
You've graced us with another wonderful view of Kent and Lyn interacting. Bit happier ending here than in some of your more recent works too, despite the unwelcome news imparted by Lyn early on.
Go sleep outside, Kent.
| Gunlord500 chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
Hey there, Kitten Kisses! Gunlord here, pardon me for wandering by but in recent days I've made it a point to check out the FE section on a somewhat regular basis, and I happened to notice this fic! :o
So in terms of constructive criticism...hmm. I apologize, but it seems there's not much for me to give! Although perhaps I should've looked harder, I couldn't find any grammatical or spelling errors, at least none worth nitpicking over In terms of characterization, both Kent and Lyn are true, and I *think* you accurately portray what happened at the end of the game in their paired ending, though it's been ages since I've gotten that specific pairing ending so my memory may be faulty. Hmm...maybe I should play again and pair them together this time. :o :D Anyways, the story about the fireflies was cute, and Lyn's answer to Kents quandary was definitely very Sacaen XD So I'm sorry, but I can't say much more than, "good work! :)"
| Xirysa chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
Oh, 'fic. Yummy in my tummy.
...Relatively speaking, of course.
Have I ever told you what a sucker I am for fireflies? Because I am-and I can tell that this is going to be pretty much awesome.
[that intrigued him, because he knew that she did care.] This statement, and basically the line in general, were perfect, I think, just because to me they describe Lyn perfectly.
[When she had risked her own life to help him in battle, it sealed his fate.] Aww, man. One beautiful line after another. This was really powerful, I thought.
[One word that hurt more than any other. He'd thought that there was something there, between them, that it was love. Home was where the heart was, he thought, but if she wanted to leave, her heart was not with him. "Now?" The question was bitter on his tongue.] SO SAD. SO BEAUTIFUL.
FIREFLIES. Beautiful and so ahfdkhgkafhafhadf. Sad andandandand... To let the woman he loves go for her own happiness. What a very Kent thing to do.
And the ending... Even though I thought of something else as I was reading, I think yours was probably more fit. And still very sweet. I really, really, really liked this.
And write more. Heck, we should all write more. But you especially, because this was, like, teh awesome. C: That is all.
| Qieru chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
Glee! Oh, you wrote a fic! I am so, so, so excited!
[She had a smile so soft and gentle and utterly happy that it reminded him of warm summer nights and fireflies in the dark. The first time he had seen it, it was as if a knob had been turned in his heart; he remembered capturing fireflies in glass jars and keeping them in his room at night, watching as they lit up over and over again until he fell asleep.
He wondered if it was possible to catch a smile.]
Aww, this is such a sweet connection, as well as the metaphor with the knob in his heart. If gives a vivid feeling for him and his own feelings.
[When she had risked her own life to help him in battle, it sealed his fate. With tender concern in her eyes, she'd helped him stand and let him lean on her as she led him to the clerics. He had needed her help, though it had been difficult to admit. It was his job to be there for her, not the other way around.]
I love this, this simple moment, where he has to concede to her. It's not terribly romantic in its own light, just a scene shared between them, a little interaction that means so very much to him. The use of 'sealed' also seems to call back to the aforementioned 'knob', as if it had been turned too far and is now locked in place. Fitting and strong.
[One word that hurt more than any other. He'd thought that there was something there, between them, that it was love. Home was where the heart was, he thought, but if she wanted to leave, her heart was not with him. "Now?" The question was bitter on his tongue.]
Aww, such pain, but so powerful in that it's a single word. Just like in life, where one thing, one small thing can ruin a happiness, ruin a time, so a single word strikes him. D:
["It was expected," he interrupted before she could think to continue, "that you would leave. Lord Hausen has been dead well over a year, now." He left her on the bed and went to stand by the window. Calm and collected, he thought absently to himself as he looked through the warped glass. He would never want her to see how easily she could hurt him, how weak and fragile he sometimes felt around her. The tiny pinpricks of light in the courtyard were a welcome distraction from her eyes.]
And so he bottled up and tries to hide. It's sad, but realistic. He doesn't want her to see, he does want to open himself up to more pain by seeing her.
["I know that I'm being selfish," she began, hugging her light quilt against her bare chest.]
/bare/ chest, eh? D;
And the story with the fireflies? Aww, so very sad. I like how you weave their interactions in and around the story-neither stay still, the move about, and fidget. They're uneasy and they have a new vacancy between them which much be addressed. And her finish? D'aww~ She's very sweet on him, and understanding. It's not something he could have though of in either situation and she provides it for him so simply.
Twas a sweet piece~ :D