Reviews for Twist of Fate
mockingjaybrandybuck chapter 3 . 8/9/2015
I laughed at Lucas’s frustration with Tony being in “his bunk”, another effective way to show his character. With that initial display I wasn’t sure what to expect from their relationship, but quickly you begin to see they are actually friends.

I wonder if Tony’s criminal background will play a role in the future.

Oooh, “it couldn’t hurt, right?” Methinks it could. This was an interesting chapter and presented us with good conflict and challenge. I would again say that the ending lacked a little something, but it was still a good, intriguing chapter that definitely made me feel drawn in my the developing plot.

Notes:

•There are more references to the older man again in this chapter (see my previous review).
•Lucas was angry that he had been corned like this by Roberts. I think you meant cornered.
•I know this story has been complete for awhile, but it might be helpful in the future to describe some of the terms like civies and shanghaiing in the author’s notes section to help those of us who are fandom blind better understand the lingo. But only if you think that would help. Perhaps some of those uses are intentionally unclear.
mockingjaybrandybuck chapter 2 . 8/9/2015
Oh! You had me at the description of little Michael. So precious. And the later reveal about who he was and why Lucas cared for him was very effective.

I’m interested to know more about Lucas and his relationship with the agent as his former captor. So intriguing to ponder how all that went down and how it relates to his relationship with the captain. I like the way the details gradually came out over the chapter in a nice, unexpected way.

Also, Lucas’s attitude comes across very clearly. The uses of phrases like petulant child are very effective. At this point, I’m pretty torn about whether I like him or not. He is very complex, which I like, and has clearly been through a lot. But I’m not quite sure whether I’m rooting for him just yet.

Also, you do a nice job of describing the military environment and culture, including the importance of respecting your higher ranked officers and following commands.
I don’t have much knowledge of that type of thing, but it does come across clearly here.

One critical note: You constantly refer to Harrington/Roberts as “the older man”. I would say this is overdone. It is fine to establish the age difference, but it becomes distracting. Finding other ways to describe him would be helpful to the overall flow.
mockingjaybrandybuck chapter 1 . 8/9/2015
Hello, a fandom blind reviewer here from RLt. The story first grabbed me with the last sentence of the first paragraph, talking about the memory he would want to recall when life became too overwhelming. It was the first hint at any challenge or drama and I wanted to know more.

The second moment was the acknowledgment that 1. There weren’t many people that Lucas would accept intimate gestures from (I want to know more about that backstory) and 2. That the captain was the exception to the rule. I’m intrigued to know more about what makes him different and how he became a father figure.

It sounds like Lucas has PTSD symptoms from his experiences. While it might have been more effective to show his symptoms in action, rather than telling about them, I do think you handled the introduction of this topic well. I also appreciated the stoic character of Lucas, simply nodding to the question about nightmares.

I was also intrigued to find out what the Caribbean waters did hold in store.

My only minor critique would be that the ending of the chapter did not really leave me with anything to look forward to. I thought the description throughout the rest of the chapter was well written and effective, but the ending just came to a close without anything to hold on to. Not saying it needs to be a cliff hanger, but just a little something more to ponder. But otherwise, this is a well-written and well executed first chapter.
rhinosgirl chapter 1 . 2/11/2015
Hi, CJane! Rhino here –hugs- I am completely fandom-blind for this story, so please forgive me any canon ignorance.
I surprised myself by actually enjoying the sparing use of dialogue and action in this chapter. The sentence “It was peaceful out here” was extraneous because you did such a great job of showing the tranquillity of the scene by using words like “ripple” and “gentle” and “faint”.
Likewise, the words “imprint” and “touch-stone” were great choices to portray the sanity Lucas was finally rediscovering on Bridger’s Island.
I love the relationship between Nathan and Lucas here. It is intuitive all the way. Lucas knew without looking it was Nathan that was approaching him. Likewise, in keeping with the atmosphere and Lucas’ mood, when Captain Bridger finally broke the silence, it was with a minimum of words and Lucas didn’t have to verbalise his answer. I am relieved they got this time together to start repairing their relationship.
I am a bit confused as to who “had been missing for 10 years”, though. Was it the new UEO or Nathan and Lucas?
The humorous ending (“I’m not that old”) was an effective way to end the chapter because it broke the quiet mood of the scene and allowed the rest of the story to go wherever it wanted to go. I have no expectation that the next chapter is going to be of a particular genre, or in a particular place, and am looking forward to finding out what happens next.
MissScorp chapter 1 . 1/30/2015
Hi there and congratulations on your nomination for Best Action/Adventure story in the Reviewers Choice Awards over at the Reviews Lounge, Too!

I'm not completely in the fandom blind when it comes to sQ, but I don't know season 2 or 3 as well as 1. That isn't a problem in the least since your opening chapter really kinda lays out what you want me to take away as a reader: Lucas is on a well-deserved break, he's spending it with Nathan on his island, he's suffered a severe trauma that has left him with nightmares, Nathan has left the UEO because of differing ideals, and the world itself is on the brink of war. What happens next is next, what is most important is this all too brief interlude and the quiet companionship shared between two people who think of each other as more than shipmates or friends.

((The retired captain pulled Lucas closer to him, wrapping his arm around the younger man's shoulder. There weren't too many people in this world that Lucas would ever allow this intimate a gesture, but with the captain – a substitute father-figure – it was welcomed.))- I got all fuzzy reading this. It's a great way of showing the friendship and trust that is between Nathan and Lucas. Their relationship might be strained, they might be angry with each other, but they are still there for each other and will support each other when times are rough. It's a beautiful representation of how relationships work.

((As usual, his recollections of the dreams were reduced to shady fragments within moments of waking.))-this is a very appropriate statement about dreams. Most people can't remember their dreams in any great detail at all. Many are fragments that barely convey any hint of something that will lead to the full dream. Lucas only able to remember all bits is appropriate for that, especially since the dreams are inspired by real life events that have left him scarred. His mind is trying to work through what happened and bring resolution to the events, but at the same time it protects him from living again that awful period. It's the beauty of the human mind, in all it's imperfect complexity at work.

I love the connective element here: ((Captain Bridger was staring out across the expanse of water, just as Lucas had done earlier. The view was deceiving. Both men knew the truth of what existed in the World's oceans and the adventures they held.)). Both men have endured the cruelties of the ocean. They know her as a feckless deceiver that will manipulate any and all who cross her vast expanse. For me this makes the ocean a living entity who has as much ability to hurt them as the enemies that they tend to engage when onboard the sQ.

I love the dialogue here: ((The retired captain merely chuckled and swatted his hand a way. "I may be getting old, Lucas, but I'm not that old.")). It shows that Bridger may have retired from the sQ, but he hadn't done so because he wasn't too old or unfit for duty. It also appropriately puts the brakes on the seriousness of the rest of the chapter.

In all, this was a good teaser chapter that established that this is not the sQ world that we know. Fantabulous job!
angel-kamui chapter 25 . 11/12/2013
I read both stories in one go. It took me like 5 days to finish them and it was so worth it. I LOVE THEM! Every concept, the whole plot of covert operation agents, the whole concept of their work even if it meant feeling guilty about hurting someone, how you made Lucas and Piccolo mature even more through hard experiences, the characters' emotions, the OCs, the Robert Bridger's twist of being an agent... well the list can go on. Excellent writing skills! I have favorite both stories and I hope you continue to write more SeaQuest stories. I just noticed that today is Jonathan Brandis' 10th anniversary of his death. It was so nice to finish reading a good story about his character on this especific date. I was so focused on your story that I was ignoring my husband. :p
LuoLiBei chapter 25 . 7/21/2012
Edit: okay, so I went with critical analysis of the story more than gushing enthusiasm for this review and I hope it doesn't get you down. It takes a good story to leave me thinking about what I liked or didn't or how it could be better. I don't mean to be insulting and hope it doesn't seem rude at all to you. I need RL people to discuss things with...

I enjoyed this story, it was kind of slow in the middle but I wasn't uninterested in their training, I was just wondering when he'd get to something exciting. It was kind of like the story followed a side story of Lucas when the actually story was happening elsewhere and going mostly unreported. :)

So there were all these characters and yet I feel like they never got developed enough for a pay off. The recruits were talked about a lot and yet I feel like I didn't actually get to know any of them. I don't know what I'd have done differently though, maybe have two separate stories, one all about training with these people, a second one where the mole issue takes center-stage. There wasn't really a climax to the training story as it now stands; the rescue felt more connected to the mole story when it really wasn't. So there'd be more strength in this story if it didn't try to do so much but focused on making the most of what it has to offer.

I do very much enjoy Roberts, I think you made a really interesting character out of him, and yet I need more. I'm not sure if I wanted some kind of blowout between him and Lucas or liked that they were somehow close and yet so far away. It's like their coming together in the last story needed something more to define their relationship as enemies or friends, but at the same time I like the nebulous feeling because what are they to each other, torturer and prisoner? Rescuer and prisoner? It's just a very interesting dynamic and I'd have liked a bit more of it in this story. I have no doubt Roberts is a good guy, but I feel like Lucas should have more issues with him. The two weeks in Harrington's care would not be overcome by just two weeks on the beach with Bridger. And yet knowing your captor was a beloved son of a man you feel is like a father could make you see him more favorably despite yourself. Really Lucas needs some psychological care. :)

I liked Tony in this story and would've enjoyed him having a bit more interaction as a spy on campus. :) I mean they weren't really there to ferret out the mole, but I'd like to have seen Tony try. I do think he was necessary as backup for Lucas because I certainly wouldn't let Roberts take Lucas anywhere without an escort. :)

I have mixed feelings on the role of seaQuest in this story. At first I was happy for a glimpse back at the crew doing things, but none of it really had a purpose in the story. The negotiations kept them busy for a while, storming the island compound was anti-climatic even for them, the rescue of Tony and Lucas was nice because I like people in awkward situations full of secrets but it wasn't really necessary, the COA could have gotten them even if it was late and Lucas could barely stay afloat. However, the switching back to the boat even for a pretty unneeded look at the crew gave it more of an episode feel to it. I feel like those unexplained things could be expanded upon in the next story kind of thing while not actually feeling this story left things hanging in a way that demands a sequel.

So it has the feeling of being part of a series which is fine when things are a series but less desirable when the stories are more stand alone. I mean yes the two stories are totally connected, but I feel like the subjects are different enough that they feel more stand alone somehow. So I guess the unexplained things make it feel like there should be a third story but I don't know what it'd be about so it might be better to just leave those things out of this story. :) And yet I just want more of Roberts flitting in and out of Lucas's life, like an evil tormenting fairy that's totally good and yet always manages to ruin his life. :) If I ever feel a desire to write a SeaQuest story can I steal your character? ;)
SupernaturalCheetahFast chapter 25 . 4/19/2012
Great great great story i also just became known to SeaQuest and love it lol keep writing all your stories are amazing!

- Never Give Up
Lynnp chapter 25 . 4/18/2012
What a great, great story! I'm glad that Robert/John has made the decision to contact his dad. I'm also pleased that both Lucas and Tony decided not to stay on. I'm sorry I haven't reviewed earlier but I've been away, and am only now been able to catch up on all the reading I've missed! I look forward to your season 2 story. Thanks again!

Lynn

xxx
chaos56 chapter 25 . 4/18/2012
I really enjoyed this story as it made me think, and as I said before it's not the sort of story I normally read; but you have written it very well and so I'm looking forward to your next one.
mharawolenczak chapter 25 . 4/14/2012
awesome awesome awesome awesome! I didn't notice the "complete" at the top til I got to the bottom... FABULOUS JOB!

I'd love to see what happens when they call Bridger though... you know he's gonna be pissed haha Would love to see a big family reunion.
V. Mures chapter 25 . 4/14/2012
This story has been a real treat to read and I am sorry to see it end. I am madly in love with this universe and would love to see more in the future. I would love to see reactions to Lucas and Tony's return on the SeaQuest, the reunion between Bridger and John. So hopefully your muse will return to this universe at some point. :)

Your writing is lovely. You do a great job providing detail and realism. Your character development is super. I have really enjoyed watching Lucas and Tony both grow throughout this story. Your plot and story pacing were wonderful, and the story left me on edge and breathless several times. I look forward to reading whatever you post next. Hopefully it will be more SeaQuest as there are just not enough good SeaQuest stories out there. Thanks for sharing this with us.
syeern chapter 25 . 4/13/2012
Ohhh! I want to see that vid call! Bridgers reaction would be priceless... ok, beautiful ending/ wrap up to this story. I love it. It must've been tricky to decide where Lucas and Tony would wind up, or maybe you knew all along. I feel both Lucas and Tony will have an air of quiet accomplishment and confidence about them, and even if Lucas doesn't quite fit in to Hudsons peg, I don't think it will bother him as much anymore. Can't wait for more. The only thing that I would've changed is the posting date. I would've held off one more day so it would've been posted on what would've been Jonathans 36th birthday. Thank god for him playing Lucas we all know and love and everything else he had accomplished in his too short of a life. And thank you for keeping the seaQuest crew and world alive through your talented writing.
CF Vici chapter 25 . 4/12/2012
I'm kind of sorry Tony didn't take advantage. LOL That just goes to show you how great a job you've done creating the COA. Also very, very cool that Roberts is going to explain to Bridger. ABOUT TIME! I don't suppose you'd be willing to cover that scene in a epilogue? Thanks so much for finishing and for the very satisfying ending. You're one of the very few who can write season three canon well, and that is not easy.
CF Vici chapter 24 . 4/12/2012
Oh wow. So worth the wait. This is nice and meaty and answers all those niggling questions. I like how you've made the COA so admirable and enticing. Given the very slim chances at ever getting to be a fighter sub pilot, I could really see Tony joining the COA and I'd even think he was SMART to do it! Lucas, of course, has so many options, that his decisions would be based more on what he wants and what fills emotional needs, because he can write his own ticket. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this.
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