Reviews for Breaking at the Cracks
unnaturalstories chapter 1 . 7/22/2015
So I'm reading this five years too late. xD But I actually really liked it. Shrouded in mystery so the reader doesn't really know whats going on. I really like the way you switched the roles of Hal and Lois. It really shows the reader how much tragedy can change a person. It makes the story deeper than you realize. I honestly really enjoyed reading this. The only thing I didn't really like was the ending. It seemed a little out of place. I could just be me, but I got the impression that Dewey died in an accident, however, the drawing makes me think suicide? Or maybe not suicide exactly, is it suppose to show how awful Dewey's life was before he died? I'm just missing something I guess. But other than that, great story!
The Late Arthur Dent chapter 1 . 4/24/2011
Its very good! Love it. Thought it was Francais that was dead at first. Carry on! I wanna know ow Dewy died and what happenes etc. :)
bubblegum-flavored icecream chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
Aww no, Dewey!

You almost mademe cry XP
mollylyn5 chapter 1 . 10/10/2010
Oh my god, I love this! It's so...emotional, and raw, and real. And Dewey! Oh, my god, poor Dewey. The part with the picture just about killed me. It would be awesome if you updated, although I still think it's amazing by itself.
The Silent Scream chapter 1 . 9/30/2010
Oh no, you killed off Dewey, how could you! At first I thought it was Francis, and that was sad already, but that's even worse. Ouch. :(

Very good job on the writing. :)
DarkandtwistyGirl chapter 1 . 9/21/2010
Great fic! Thanks for sharing.
QueenWolf12 chapter 1 . 7/19/2010
This was a good story and very lifelike but umm could you tell me who died! I may have missed it but please tell me!
Paget chapter 1 . 5/8/2010
In tears reading this! Please continue! Please!
6Amaya6 chapter 1 . 4/14/2010
Well, overall you did a fantastic job for a genre you don't write often. It was really good! And sad of course...I immediately knew it was Dewey, and I really didn't want to believe it at first. But it fit quite well. My favourite part was the drawing. That was an amazing addition to the story, and it was something that I can picture Dewey actually doing.

I think it stands well as a one-shot, but it would be nice to continue it...maybe just another small one-shot to tie it all together and explain how Dewey died.

In the end, it's your choice

Ja ne! _
Alyssa chapter 1 . 4/13/2010
No no no! u evil person no! why why! ur awful! no not Dewey no not sweet cute awesome little Dewey No anyone but him anyone else(cept Malcolm of course)! No ur a monster no i hate u no! anyway besides all that good fic sad but good! very touching!
poxmaker chapter 1 . 4/12/2010
D: I was kinda hoping it had been Francis. I could have handled it better if it were Francis.

I can actually kinda see Dewey smiling at this, just like he's saying, "Yeah, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone. But by then it'll be too late. You'll see." Although it's extremely sad that he had to die before his family paid more than the tiniest amount of attention to him.

And oh, man, that picture. How did you come up with that? It makes so much sense! That is awesome.

I also have to say that I'm impressed that I didn't see the word 'mum' once. It's even more impressive because you're both British and 15. Shows that you thought ahead, which a lot of 15 year olds (or around there) that I know wouldn't do. Very nice.

I think this could stand alone, as it is. However, if you want to continue it I'm sure it'd be fine too. Up to you.
KHwhitelion chapter 1 . 4/12/2010
Holy crap.

Holy crap holy crap!

That was amazing!

So sad...that last line was damn near heartbreaking.

I'm SO glad you wrote another angst story! You're quite good at it!