|Reviews for Insert Inconclusive Science Experiment Here|
| THE-BANNED-AUTHOR chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
Wow that was an interesting twist. Sucks that Viva got away though...
| rainbowblacksea chapter 1 . 12/10/2011
A thin story. But thanks to your advanced and mature language I liked it. Even more I liked the butterfly-comparison, the thoughtful ending and stuff like that, Actually,- a little more of that wouldn't be wrong, and a tiny bit more of emotions too.
| The Layman chapter 1 . 5/10/2010
Awe, boo hoo. Farewell Lela (Koi), we would have liked to understand you better.
| Aster Selene chapter 1 . 4/17/2010
As you may already know Chrys is VERY curious how Clue the board game will turn out.
Poor Lela. Although I knew she was going as soon as you said a character will die...
Thanks for taking care of the wiki, btw. Saved lot of problems for me.
| Numbuh six-sixtysix chapter 1 . 4/15/2010
Okay, so this fic plays up to the fact that, whilst people may have very good advice in an objective matter, and can 'technically' learn from other peoples' mistakes, they are very bad at applying those selfsame lessons to themselves.
And so we are introduced to a new weapon. Not quite a chain-scythe(I know there is a name for that, but I can't remember it), but more like two kunai connected by a length of chain. Fair enough. I would imagine that would be used similar to a blade-tipped whip, albeit with more garotting capability. And jeeze, what is it with the heel face turn Sue's being killed off? In RST (I think, but it is definitely mentioned somewhere) it is said that there are dozens of reformed Sues living happy lives, etc etc. So far in Society history, only three Sues (that I can think of) have been inducted into the Society (Including Lily, despite not ever having gone on a mission), and one of those was a traitor. The rest, including the traitor (I think), have all been killed. The Society rehab program is starting to sound like the movie-stero-type of the American Witness Protection Program - you sign up to it, you die. We need some more successful Sue conversions. Hell, I'd be willing to accept a fic where the Sue and the agent argue philosphy all day, if it meant the Sue was convinced to join up to the rehab program, and not get killed (Although, as a Philosophy student, I would be forced to point out all the flaws in your arguments, all the counter-arguments you missed, etc). Granted, such a fic may not be suitable for Tyler or Ben (they're just too crackish to suddenly have a philosophical moment), but the idea is there.
Oh, and sorry for ranting, this review kind've got away from me.
| James Firebrand chapter 1 . 4/13/2010
Wow. I thought I knew what I was getting into when I let you redesign Lily's outfit, but you really blew me away! I was expecting something complex and complicated but you epitomized the term "Elegance in its simplicity" here. Great work!
Hope you don't mind a little criticisim, this was a great fic, don't get me wrong, but you kind of just rushed through things. You kind of just jump right into the deep end of the emotional pool and jump right back out, we never really get time to sit back and appreciate what's going on. Take Viva's killing of Lela for example. One second she's alive, the next she's dead. There's no real 'emotion' in your writing, for lack of a better word.
Another thing to take note of is that you don't have to have a character say everything that goes through their head out loud. For example:
Lela looked shocked. "Karissa – that rush of emotion across my empathy – you feel the same way that I do, don't you?"
Try having her THINK it rather than SAY it. It has much more of an impact. Like this:
Lela looked shocked. A rush of emotion crossed her empathy. Karissa felt the same way she did.
See what I mean? It's MUCH more effective and efficient than having her just SAY it. It leaves more of an impression on the reader.
Other than that though, this was a great fic! I've always felt that there was a VERY interesting relationship dynamic between an Author and their character. I'm planning on exploring that a bit in my next few fics myself, but you have a very interesting relationship between yourself and Karissa and Charis going on here. It should be interesting to see how this develops...
As for Karissa's new weapon it sounds completely awesome! Chains are among the most under-utilized weapons in fandoms, usually reserved for punk/gangster/villan type characters, but from the way you describe it, it sounds like a perfect match for Karissa! I can't wait to see what it does! (If it even does ANYTHING special...?)
Anyway, thank you once again for Lily's redesign. You not only met, but you surpassed and transcended my expectations! Good work and keep it up! I'm looking forward to your next fic!
| Ulera chapter 1 . 4/13/2010
Lol, a magic paper airplane... This is one of my favorite fics, it had a very simple feel to it, and you seemed to get everyone in character. I enjoyed reading it very much.
| Isis the Sphinx chapter 1 . 4/13/2010
Whoa. Yeah, this was a sadfic all right. Nicely done, however. Looking forward to more. Keep writing!
| gdouglas56 chapter 1 . 4/13/2010
Finally get to see the weapon, but not in action though. Looks like its google time for me...
Sadfic, sadfic. At least it goes with the flow...
First it was Ben's, then yours. Your fics made me (Author) seemed like a good father to my characters compared to 'Amanda' or you(Cay)...
Hopefully Karissa can survive on what's coming ahead...The MW2 multichap fic...